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#1
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North vs South:
The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses |
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#2
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The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions. |
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#3
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The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails. |
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#4
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The North has double last names,
The South has double first names. |
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#5
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The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races. |
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#6
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The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits. |
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#7
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The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens |
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#8
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The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish. |
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#9
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The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt. |
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#10
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FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. < Catheads > for you Northerners. . |
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