100 pantyhose pics - part LXVI

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10 on Veterns Day

Real Army Leaders:

Can cuss for a full ten minutes without ever repeating a word.

Can remember when there were real NCOs.

Know why there is a bayonet lug on the end of their weapon.

Can chew tobacco, take a drink, call in a SITREP and a air strike, and

Keep their weapon at the ready all at the same time.

Have eyes in the backs of their heads.

Would rather be a squad leader than a general.

Have dreams about leading a parachute assault on Baghdad.

Still don't trust the Russians.

Still hate the French.

Do not fear women in the military.

Would actually like to date GI Jane.

Know what a short-arm inspection is.

Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M4.

Know that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers

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20 on Vets day

Murphy's Laws of Combat

•You are not Superman.

•Recoilless rifles aren't.

•Suppressive fire won't.

•If it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.

•Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire.

•Never draw fire. It makes everyone around you nervous.

•When in doubt, empty the magazine.

•Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

•Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

•If your attack is going well, it's an ambush.

•If you can't remember . . . the claymore is probably pointed at you.

•All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.

•Try to look unimportant. The enemy may be low on ammo.

•If you are forward of your position the artillery will be short.

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30 on Vet's day

A Navy Chief and an Air Force General were getting shave sin a barbershop.


As the barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their faces, the General

shouts, "Hey, don't put that crap on me! My wife will think I've been in a wh*r*house!" Whereupon the Chief turns to his barber and says, "Go ahead and put it on me, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a wh*r*house smells like."

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Which Military Service Has Big Brass Ones?

A marine general, an army general and an navy admiral were discussing who has the toughest men one day.

The army general goes, "Alright, I'll prove the army's got the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"

The private reports as ordered -"Yes sir?"

The general goes, "see that man over there? Kill him!"

Without hesitating, the private kills the man.

The general goes "See? That man has balls!"

The marine general goes, "That's nothing! Private get over here!"

The marine private reports, "Yes sir?"

The general goes, "See that man over there? Kill him and then yourself!"

Without blinking the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.

The marine general goes, "See? Now that man has balls!"

The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey seaman! Jump off that tower!"

The seaman goes, "Excuse me sir?"

The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!"

The seaman replies, "F#$% you sir!"

The admiral goes, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"

Note: The Airforce is not mentioned in the above. We leave it as an exercise to the reader to speculate why.

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Military Common Sense Rules

A lot of life's problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense ...

1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
(Paul Rodriguez)

2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
(Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).

3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)

5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)

6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
(Infantry Journal)

7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)

8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
(Gen. MacArthur)

9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)

10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)

11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)

12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
(Infantry Journal)

13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)

14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
(David Hackworth)

15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
(Infantry Journal)

16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
(Joe Gay)

17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
(Admiral Hornblower)

18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)

19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
(Your Buddies)

20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)

21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
(David Hackworth)

22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry.
(Drill Instructor)

23. In the Navy, the Chief is always right.
(Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters

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When the Chief Dies

"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."

"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"

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Uptight Colonel

A crusty old Marine Corps Colonel found himself at a gala event at a posh hotel, sponsored by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely attractive, idealistic young women in attendance. One of them approached the colonel.

"Excuse me sire, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time? Or is there something that's bothering you?"

"No, I'm just serious by nature."

Looking over the colonel's ribbons, the young lady said, "You seem to have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, a lot of action," said the colonel rather curtly.

Finding it hard work trying to start a conversation with the colonel, the young woman said, "You know, you should lighten up a little . . . relax and enjoy yourself."

This didn't seem to move the colonel, who just looked at her very seriously.

Exasperated, the woman said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

"1955."

"Well no wonder you're the way you are! You really need to chill out a little and quite taking everything so seriously. I mean, no sex since 1955 is a little extreme!"

"I don't think so, it's only, 2130 now."

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An air force officer arrives in heaven. St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!

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Sixteen All-Time Biggest REAL Soldier Lies

1. "I put it in distribution."

2. "Your pay will be straight at the end of the month."

3. "I know I left it right here on the top of my desk."

4. "Of course I can read a map."

5. "It's on valid requisition."

6. "No Sir, I don't smoke dope!"

7. "He's in the motor pool."

8. "I have to go back to the rear."

9. "I don't give a d@!& if the General hears about this!"

10. "I need this for the old man right away!"

11. "I was here until midnight last night working on this!"

12. "I read the after action report."

13. "Sorry I'm late, but the Colonel called me just as I was about to leave."

14. "Give me your number and I'll call you back."

15. "This is a courtesy inspection."

16. "We're here to help you."

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God's Speed for all those who serve in the military.

You cannot be safe in war; only lucky.

May you all have luck.

Osreb