Walmart Recruitment

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The Assistant Manager at our local Walmart store has announced he will retire on January 31st which is Walmart's fiscal year-end. He will collect his bonus and walk away with several million dollars of Walmart shares.

I have been appointed to serve on the search committee to look for his successor. The search will concentrate on internal candidates and the preference is for a female.

We have narrowed the search to a short list of internal candidates. Our first candidate to be interviewed is Katie.

Me: Welcome Katie. You are on the short list to replace the current Assistant Manager. Why do you think you're ready?
Katie: I'm currently a department head and feel I'm ready for the assistant manager position.
Me: Interview going well. Next I have to see you naked.
Katie: Sure, no problem

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Me: Photo shoot going well. Just 2-3 more pics and we're done.
Katie: Sure. I'm already naked what's another 2-3 more pics.

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The next applicant for the AM position is Kristi.

Me: Welcome. You were highly recommended by your manager.
Kristi: Thanks

Me: When I looked at your resume, I thought you are a bit light on experience.
Kristi: I'm a fast learner.

Me: I think department head would be good seasoning for your career for now.
Kristi: I would be ok with department head for now. I'm young (only 19) and there will be plenty of time for the next promotion.

Me: I'm glad you are being realistic. Next, I have to see you naked. It's SOP.
Kristi: Sure, no problem.

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The interviews for the new AM continues. This morning I interviewed Beth.

Me: Good morning Beth. How was your Christmas?
Beth: I was very disappointed.
Me: Why is that?
Beth: My boyfriend did not propose.
Me: Maybe you'll get promoted to AM. That should at least make up for not getting a proposal.
Beth: I hope so. I think I'm ready to be AM.
Me: Interview going well. Next, I have to see you naked. It's SOP.
Beth: Sure, no problem.
Me: It's a good thing I saw you naked. Otherwise, I wouldn't know you have a tattoo on your lower back.

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OMG It's boxing day and the store/mall is packed with shoppers with their little kids. Some female shoppers are flashimg their girly bits. I had to have the"talk" with these female shoppers. I warned them that exposure to the female anatomy at an early age will lead to a life of crime, drug abuse and bestiality.

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More females flashing their girly bits.

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Earlier this morning I interviewed Deborah.

Me: Good morning Deborah. I know you just finished your night shift as an overnight stocker.
How do you like working nights?
Deborah: There are pluses and minuses like any job. HoweverI would like to move to a day shift at some point.

Me: So, you think you are ready to be the AM?
Deborah: Yes, I already know all the merchadise since I stock them. I think AM is my next logical career move.

Me: Interview going fine. Next, I need to see you naked. It's SOP.
Deborah: Sure, no problem.

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Dispite my busy schedule I managed to squeeze in one more interview for the AM position. Young woman named Noor.

Me: Hi Noor, please to meet you. I noticed on your resume that you were employed by us once before.
Noor: Happy to be here. Yes, I was employed here once before but made a mistake by leaving.
Me: Oh my goodness, what happened?
Noor: I thought the grass would be greener in the other ailse but I was wrong.

Me: Ok, I can't promise you will be re-hired but let's proceed with the interview.
Noor: Sounds good. I really miss this place and all my friends here. I was an idiot to leave. Sadder but wiser.

Me: So, you think you are ready to be AM?
Noor: I learned some valuable life lessons since I left and want to come back.

Me: Sounds like you gained much maturity. Interview is going well. Next, I have to see you naked. It's SOP.
Noor: Sure, no problem.

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I interviewed Jeannie earlier this morning.

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Beth (Elizabeth Beanblossom) strikes me as the GND type.