Funny sex mishaps

[indym]

I had something funny happen this past week, and I thought it would be a fun topic to read what others have had happen that made them laugh.

We (me and L) just got back from a vacation in Hawaii, and I had planted the idea of wanting to fuck L on our balcony with her holding on to the railing while we were there. We tried it the second night of our trip, but our balcony was semi-secluded, and she was a little nervous. She ended up riding me while I was sitting in a chair, and we could hear quiet voices that would go silent the more noise we made. For us at least, the echoing sounds couldn't have been mistaken for anything but what it was.

We both were really turned on by it, and the second to last night there, she was up for grabbing the railing and being bolder. We were fucking away, and when it was time to cum I planned to do it across her back and ass... the only problem, I shot a rope of cum over the edge of the balcony. If you've ever tried not to laugh, you know how next to impossible that is! L started giggling so much I'm sure half the rooms around us heard. Back inside, we finally settled down, and I asked her what kind of bird people below thought let that loose, and the laughing started all over again. I decided we should name it a Cock-A-Spooge.

Does anyone else have funny sex stories to share?

[karlhein]

Some years,ago, I met a lady on-line. After some get to know you stuff, the correspondence turned sexy, leading to an exchange of photos. We agreed to meet for a weekend, lived 1000+ miles,apart, so some logistical challenges. We met at a hotel, had a drink, seemed to like each other, and retired to my room....she was only a 3 hour drive from home, so she could have returned home if it wasn't working.

Hugging and kissing quickly progressed to being naked. She was 35 ish, a little thick, but nicely firm. She had firm, B cup boobs, with nice pointy nipples that when sucked caused her back to arch, a willing mouth that fit my cock well, and a perfectly shaved pussy, with the most perfectly innie lips I've ever seen. She was nice and juicy once I parted her lips, and came when I started licking her. Anyway, the first night, and following morning were a good experience of fucking and sucking, and we both came several times. After a morning fuck, e went to lunch, visited a bookstore in the afternoon, then went to dinner. All in all a nice date so far.

From iut chats, I knew she wasn't adverse to anal, so after ge got back from dinner and wound up in bed, I began to play with her ass. Begore long, I had a finger deep in her ass, my thumb in her pussy, and was licking her clit. She was responding like she really enjoyed it. I forfet if she had 2 orgasms or 3, but I was doing something right. I kissed my way up her tummy, to her tits to her mouth, and told her I wanted to fuck her ass, which elicited a vigorous nodding of her head.
I pushed her legs up to her shoulders, rubbed the head of my cock at the entrance to her pussy, then lowered my cockhead to her rosebud, and gebtly pushed into her ass. I guess vetween the fingering and orgasms she was pretty relaxed, as I entered her fairly easily. I love ass fucjing in misdionary, as I can see her face and tits and pussy and feel the tight grip of her ass on my cock. I can also use my thumb on her clit, which most ladies like. She was having a good time abd came pretty quickly. The squeezing of her but around my cock set me off, abd I emptied my load unto her butt.
Just as the last if my load emptied, the alarm on her phone went off.....ta da, ta da, ta da. It was perfect timing and made both of us start gigling. It was exactly 24 hours after we had first met the night before.
Anyway, after a shower to clean up, we cuddled and fucked, cuddded and did 69, and went to sleep. The next mornibg, we had a long slow fuck, ebning in another anal session, but no phone alarm at the climax.
I met her a few more times, one with a MFM, her first 3 way. No anal on that one, but lors of oral-pussy filling. Although she had fucked, done oral and anal with each of us separately, she said she much preferred 1 on 1 to the 3 way. The meetings, usually long weekends, had lots of good fucking, oral and anal. Too bad the logistics were so difficult, as I really enjoyed her even outside the bedroom. I always thought she was bi curious, especially after watching her get into a lap dance at a strip club. After we,got home that night, she was hyper wet and totally insatiable in bed.

[piecenick]

GF was 18, about to off to college, so we were taking every opportunity for sex we could get. Her parents and siblings were gone on a trip, she stayed to keep her summer job. Of course, empty house was unbelievable for sex, our first real privacy. We were in her bedroom, on her bed, she was on top giving me a great ride, then in the bedroom door her aunt appeared, didn't hear her at all. I start to sit up, GF starts a quick dismount, her knee caught me in the side of my head, hard. She knocked me out cold onto the floor.

I wake up a few minutes later with still naked GF putting ice on my head, her aunt kneeling next to me putting a pillow under my head. I have a headache from the concussion, but other than that I'm fine. Aunt leaves the room so we can get dressed, she'll wait in the den.

Of course besides my head, I'm embarrassed, now we have to face the aunt, she in GF's mother's younger sister, I've met her before, she was nice. We sit down and she tells GF her mother asked her to stop by to make sure all was alright. She apologized for not knocking when she saw 2 cars out front, she said young people have sex, it's just what they do. But now she says I need medical attention pronto, so she helps us make up a story to tell my parents so they can meet me at the ER. I told her that I was sorry and embarrassed to be caught like that, she said with a smile that I nothing to be ashamed of. Cool lady, I saw her many times in the future with a smile.