Birth of a crazy chick episode 1

[smjimmie1348]

Hey you guys I am back with a new story and I like to call it birth of a crazy chick and this happens to be part 1 but before I begin I would like to thank doctor ripper and 1993wwe for helping me back to where I need to be so thank you but anyway lets get to the story so we see aj lee the former divas champion walk into the office of Stephanie McMahon and she said hi boss lady and Stephanie said hey April just to let u know u are in a match tonight and that match will be a tag team match when you team up with the divas champion Paige to fight the team of summer rae and Eva Marie and oh get ready because that match is next.



We are now here in the ring where the lovely Lillian Garcia is standing in the ring and she is wearing a small yellow dress and she has a wwe microphone in her hand and she says this match is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall and the only way to win is by pinfall or submission so introducing first the team of Eva Marie and summer rae and they walk into the ring Eva is wearing a small silver shirt and some red shorts while summer is wearing a small silver top and some matching silver shorts and they grabbed a microphone and then they said we want to be a part of the greatest ppv besides wrestlemania which happens to be 3 weeks away in a little place called Los Angeles so I propose the winners of this tag team match will face each other next week and the winner will face Paige for the divas title at summerslam and then lets light it up played on the speakers

Micheal cole- well here comes aj I guess she has something to say about that and aj gets in the ring and asks for a microphone and says no I'm still the no 1 contender and then she was about to speak again when they heard the screeching scream of the divas champion Paige and she walks into the ring and grabs a microphone and says what we do in England will happen here as long as I am champion so I agree I accept the terms and aj was furious but lets start the match

So here we are live on Monday night raw and we are 3 weeks away from summerslam and you can watch that and other pay per views live on the wwe network for only 9 99 but lets commentate the match its aj starting things off with summer and aj screams and pushed summer into the turnbuckle then stepped back to give her room then ran at her at full speed but summer moved out of the way and aj lee fell out of the ring and landed hard on the floor and then summer tagged Eva in then Eva got off the apron and grabbed aj and tossed her back in the ring and started celebrating and then got in the ring and aj was on all fours and started crawling over to her tag team partner the divas champion Paige but she jumped down from the apron and grabbed her divas title and started skipping back to the back and then aj lee stood up and then got kicked in the face by Eva then Eva tagged summer rae and she got on the top rope and did a split legged leg drop and pinned aj 1 2 3 so your winners of the match are summer rae and Eva Marie and then they walked back to the back and then here comes Paige and she helps aj up but then tosses her out of the ring and then grabs her black love bites shirt and pulls it off to reveal aj lees white bra then Paige grabbed her shorts and pulled them off leaving aj stripped down to her white bra and pink thong then finally officials came to stop it then Paige left with ajs clothes still skipping to the back well that was part 1 let me know what you think

[MickGesitt]

Here. Now its readable. I punctuated it and even fixed some of your grammar. Hope it helps.

Originally Posted by smjimmie1348

Hey you guys I am back with a new story and I like to call it Birth of a Crazy Chick and this is Part 1.

But before I begin I would like to thank DoctorRipper and 1993wwe for helping me back to where I need to be so thank you but anyway lets get to the story...



We see AJ Lee the former Divas Champion walk into the office of Stephanie McMahon.

AJ - "Hi, boss lady!"

Stephanie - "Hello April. I just want to let you know that you are in a tag team match tonight. You're going to be teaming up with the Diva's Champion Paige to fight the team of Summer Rae and Eva Marie, Oh, and get ready because that match is next."


We are now here in the ring where the lovely Lillian Garcia is standing in the ring and she is wearing a small yellow dress and she has a WWE microphone in her hand.

Lillian - This match is a tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall. Thehe only way to win is by pinfall or submission. Introducing first, the team of Eva Marie and Summer Rae...

Eva Marie and Summer Rae walk to the ring together. Eva is wearing a small silver shirt and some red shorts while Summer is wearing a small silver top and some matching silver shorts. Eva sn*tches the microphone away from Lillian.

Eva - Summer and I want both to be a part of the greatest pay-per-view besides WrestleMania which happens to be 3 weeks away in a little place called Los Angeles.

Summer takes over for Eva.

Summer - So I propose the winners of this tag team match will face each other next week and the winner will face Paige for the Divas Title at Summerslam.

'Let's Light It Up' plays on the speakers.

Michael Cole - Well here comes AJ I guess she has something to say about that...

AJ gets in the ring and asks for a microphone as she stares down Summer and Eva.

AJ - No I still have my rematch clause. That means that I'm still the number one contender.

AJ was about to speak again but was cut off by the loud screeching scream of the Divas Champion Paige's theme song 'Stars in the Night'. Paige walks into the ring and pulls AJ's microphone away from her.

Paige - What we do in England will happen here as long as I am champion. So I agree, I accept the terms.

Aj was furious but lets start the match


Michael Cole - We are live on Monday Night Raw and we are three weeks away from SummerSlam. You can watch that and other Pay-Per-Views live on the WWE Network for only $9 99. But let's commentate the match."

AJ starts things off with Summer. AJ screams and pulls Summer into the turnbuckle then stepped back to give her room then ran at her at full speed but summer moved out of the way and AJ Lee fell out of the ring and landed hard on the floor.

Summer went and tagged her partner. Eva got off the apron and grabbed AJ and rolled her back in the ring. Eva started to celebrate like she'd already won the match then got in the ring. While Eva was needlessly celebrating, AJ started to get up and was on all was on all fours.

AJ started to crawl over to her tag team partner. But Paige suddenly jumped down from the apron. AJ looked on in shock as Paige grabbed her Divas Title and openly mocked her as she started skipping to the back.

AJ Lee stood back up and stared after her partner but was caught off guard by a hard kick to the face from Eva. Eva dragged AJ towards her corner and tagged in Summer Rae. Summer got on the top rope and did a Split Legged Leg Drop then went for the pin. 1 2 3

Summer Rae and Eva Marie are the winners of the match and because of the pre-match stipulation that Paige agreed to, they will now face off next week to determine which of them will face Paige for the Diva's Championship at SummerSlam.

Summer and Eva walked to the back and passed Paige as she came back to the ring.

Paige helps AJ up but then tosses her out of the ring. She grabs AJ's black love bites shirt and pulls it off to reveal AJ Lee's white bra then Paige grabbed her shorts and pulled them off to expose AJ's pink thong. AJ was left laid out on the floor in her underwear.

The officials rushed out to cover AJ while Paige laughed then skipped to the back with AJ's clothes.




Well that was part 1 let me know what you think?

It's still mostly your original material. I did what I could to make it readable but I'm not a miracle worker. Any problems left with the story itself are yours.

[smjimmie1348]

Hey thnx but u don't have to be mean about it

[1993wwe]

Hey smjimmie. Glad you did opt to give it a go again. What I would suggest is trying to slow things down a bit and pad them out a lot. You had a full match over the course of six lines and rushed the euf part too. That's kind of the meat of what people are reading for and if you take that away... its hard for people to enjoy this. It never hurts to see what others are being critiqued on and trying to learn from them. A lot of the suggestions that were made for me in the "Paige: The Unstoppable WWE Divas Champion" story applies here too and the story could really benefit from a larger length and a focus on trying to fix up the punctuation a bit.

It's worth it to slow things down, add more to each moment and trying to tighten up the grammar a bit. It is hard to get into a story when you keep getting pulled out of it by getting confused over sentences/grammar. Its better off to try, and maybe miss a few punctuation spots, than to not add any at all.

[smjimmie1348]

Hey thanks 1993wwe for that comment for episode 2 I will try and hopefully get it done by Sunday and we will see how this story progresses until then famous words from someone special to me smell ya later

[divalover95]

I'm sorry but you can't be over 18.

[DrVillian]

Hey long time lerker here, I agree with Divalover that I doubt your over 18 given the way you said goodbye and the really poor writing skills.

[smjimmie1348]

Hey I'm new at this writing stuff so chill out with that when you first started writing u probably weren't good practice makes perfect and so will I and yea I am I was born in 95 but I was just playing pokemon and that popped up so I said it ok if I was wrong for saying it I'm sry but those 2 comments doesn't deserve to be on a story that's only just the beginning so plz stop and I would like for each of u to grow a set and write something instead of bashing other people's hard work so good day

[DrVillian]

My friend I did not mean to offend you I was simply pointing out that you seemed a little young for this now I know it's cause you are only 18 or 19. As for your other comment I don't think anyone here needs to grow a set I am perfectly happy to read the excellent stories on the forum and give feedback, whenever I think I can make a writer better.I personally don't think there was any need for rude comments like that I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.

[smjimmie1348]

It's ok u are new here and u didnt know I should be the one apologizing I just can't believe I tried writing again when last time I wrote a story this happened where it seemed like the whole world was beefing on me because I didn't do this and I didn't do that well like I said I'm still a beginner I'm no pwein212 or divalover95 or doctor ripper or even 1993wwe I just want to be in the same category as them but I guess that will never happen well if that's the case well then there might not be a part 2 sry to all of you out there reading this