[Reluctant] Should I?

[five hole]

Greetings Fans,

I am at very interesting cross-roads and I really do not know what to do. Ideas, comments, and such are welcome.

Before I met my wife I dated a girl for a significant amount time (five years) who I thought was the "one". She was a bit more wild then me, but very loyal. In truth I think I 'owe her' for opening my eyes sexually to other 'things' and I know our sexual relationship was very VERY HOT. So many stories... I know she told me up front she never wanted to marry, but I thought perhaps someday, but it never happened and we stopped dating after five years.

Less than a year later, I would meet my wife and up until now, I have not really thought about her. Jenny as I will call her found me about two weeks ago through social media. I am not a huge social media person as there just seems to be a ton of people telling you "how great there life is", "Lookie' what I made at home for dinner", and my kid just took his first shit. While I enjoy keeping in touch with friends, FB seems to be a narcissistic platform for people to either showcase that or get the "courage" to post about it when they might never have. At any rate, Jenny found me.

Our conversations back and forth have gotten less tame in the last 48 hours to the point where she asked about meeting up with my wife and I one night. Jenny, true to her comments never married and suggested a night out with dinner and drinks. My wife has seen pictures of Jenny and has always thought she was attractive and that both excites me and concerns me.

So what do I do? There is no secret between my wife and I concerning Jenny... and yet I feel it would be awkward. She invited us over to her house so she could enjoy booze without fear of driving home and I know my wife will drink and well... I am not sure I know why I am concerned. Thoughts? Ideas? I think I have too much going on in my head...

[ModelT-MsDollie]

This comes at a time when a close friend and neighbor recently told us about finding his first high school sweetheart on the internet. Seems he went to a reunion and her first husband was there. It's been like 50 years since they dated or he really thought about Sally.
But as Bob talked more about his old love the truth came out. He and his wife now collect many things. They have several life sized statues. One a cowboy that his wife June calls her lover. She hugs him and fondles where his penis would be. Bob has a very sexy looking life sized woman who he calls Sally. He actually added pencil erasers to the breasts and supposedly rubs them and tells Sally good night.
Now these are other wise normal people and actually quite religeous. We didn't know any of these secrets until Bob talked about his old girl friend and told how she was fucking many other kids in school when her and Bob were supposedly going steady.
They drifted apart and Sally married several times. Supposedly she is once again single, in her 60's, and a decent looking cougar. Bob asked us the same things. Should I go visit Sally? Should I tell June, my wife?

I say why not. You are only gonna live once and time is running out. If I had the chance I'd meet and let nature do what nature does. Also pay attention to your wife and see how she reacts. Just don't do anything to mess up your own relationship with her.

[whatnow3]

Originally Posted by five hole

Greetings Fans,

Our conversations back and forth have gotten less tame in the last 48 hours to the point where she asked about meeting up with my wife and I one night. Jenny, true to her comments never married and suggested a night out with dinner and drinks. My wife has seen pictures of Jenny and has always thought she was attractive and that both excites me and concerns me.

Less tame? are you reminiscing on past experiences or talking about creating new ones with or without wife? Have you and your wife played with others before? It sounds like you would like something to happen (most guy's fantasy, I know) but I don't think that is something you spring on the wife without having discussed it or have prior experience. "Hey honey an ex of mine wants to have dinner and drinks then sleep with us, what do ya say?"

Now all that being said, my high school girlfriend and I stayed friends after we broke up. It was a decision we both made due to the fact we hung out with the same group of friends and we both didn't want to make the group choose between us. I can't say there was zero tension when my wife and I started dating, felt more on my wife's part due to being the new person to the group. But that was over 20 years ago now and they are both good friends.

[five hole]

Model T, Dollie, and Whatnow3,

Thanks for the response. Sometimes I type something and mentally see what I want to convey in my mind and yet it fails to get typed on the keyboard. I am sorry for that and this should help Whatnow3 with the whole process.


-She and I have exchanged 'hey remember when...' and that has been "less tame".
-My wife knows Jenny contacted me and has been encouraging in talking to her since she saw her.
-I do not know if I want or do not want anything to happen.
-I think more than anything, I am the one with reservations.

However, Dollie and Model T have persuaded me to at least meet up with her and see how that goes with my wife. I am not sure what I expect or know what the hell I expect to happen, but I am game.

I will CERTAINLY post here what goes down.

[ModelT-MsDollie]

Fivehole I believe often our brains and hearts see and think of things that may only be parts of our fantasies, our dreams, and what we'd like to see happen in that fantasy world. That doesn't mean the other person in this relationship are even having these dreams.
Perhaps all they want to do is meet and have a good time while talking about the past.Then again maybe they have even wilder ideas of things they'd like to do to rekindle old romances and old dreams. As mentioned, meet, have a good tme, respect your own wife's feelings, and see what happens.
It ain't easy loving someone and not hurting them. I guess all I'm trying to say is take it easy but don't be afraid to follow your instincts.
As I sit and type I sometimes know exactly what I want to say in words. Our fingers don't always write what our hearts are thinking so the words become mixed and confusing, like this !

[alterego8184]

1. I would also recommend, like whatnow3, that you discuss this over clearly with your wife. She anyways knows about your relationship so should not be difficult.... and
2. If I were you, I would not cross a certain limit when I met her again for the first time. I dont want my wife to feel that all i wanted was to fuck her again when i had the chance (which is not the case anyways).

Who knows there is friendship or tension in store for future ... but worth a try

[Archelon]

Originally Posted by five hole

So what do I do? There is no secret between my wife and I concerning Jenny... and yet I feel it would be awkward. She invited us over to her house so she could enjoy booze without fear of driving home and I know my wife will drink and well... I am not sure I know why I am concerned. Thoughts? Ideas? I think I have too much going on in my head...

My personal feeling would be to steer clear of this. I wouldn't go into anything like that with any kind of significant reservation. You need to think about this, your motivations, why you are concerned, and deal with your reservations before you pull the trigger on anything. You also need to have some set of understood expectations with your wife as to where things might go before you get into it.

[SandyM]

I hate to bring it up, but do you and your wife have kids? Because if you do, the stakes are so much higher. Going into a situation like we are all imagining, you and your wife might both think it sounds like fun, but sometimes after an event like swinging or a threesome, one or both of you has a harder time dealing with what has happened than that person imagined. And if you split up because of it, your kids will suffer, and that will increase your feelings of guilt over the whole thing.

Of course, I don't know you or your wife or really anything, but I just thought I would add this. As a parent, I have definitely not done things I would have loved to do, with the welfare of my kids in mind. I'm sure every parent on this board has, as well.

[five hole]

Wow, so much to say and yet nothing at the same time.

First, thank you to all the comments and suggestions. Before my wife and I even decided to meet up with her, I explained my interest and was completely truthful concerning why I wanted to meet (the truth is I was more curious and wanted to see how she was doing). Then my wife asked what she looked like and I showed her. My wife is not into girls per say, but has found a select few very "doable". Jenny was added to the list.

My reservations where because I really didn't know what I wanted and played out the evening a few dozen times in my head with what could and might happen. Everything from leaving after a 1/2 hour to my wife getting mad and us leaving after 5 minutes. I really had no idea what to expect, but my wife was curious to know about the girl before her and prompted me (or should I say us) to get together.

Of all the outcomes that I thought might happen, the ending result was nothing I could've predicted. We sat, drank, ate, and shared some stories. There lots of laughs, fun, and even a moment that both girls were very emotional on concerning me and both had tears. However, we all walked away happy. I think more than anything that was key.

This coming weekend we agreed to meet up again at a bar/restuarant and laugh so more. Details to follow because I asked the question and you all provided me with some ideas and concerns. I just think I owe the onus of responsiblitiy to provide you with the details if I ask for advise. Maybe that is me though.

For the record, we have no kids. Kids were something we entertained over the early years of marriage, but it was something we liked, but NEVER loved. I do not think either of us regrets even one bit. A lot of it has to due with co-workers, friends, and family who for whatever reason experienced single parenting, didn't want kids, but thought they did, or were 'stuck' (there words, NOT mine) in a marriage because of kids. I love my wife and I know she loves me; besides I'm a big kid.

[alterego8184]

Originally Posted by five hole

We sat, drank, ate, and shared some stories. There lots of laughs, fun, and even a moment that both girls were very emotional on concerning me and both had tears. However, we all walked away happy. I think more than anything that was key. .... Kids were something we entertained over the early years of marriage, but it was something we liked, but NEVER loved. ..... besides I'm a big kid.

Hey FiveHole ... great to hear back .. and that you had good fun. I guess thats the best that can happen, whatever the details, that the three of you have fun and are happy with this meeting up and getting together ! And i like the last part ... `am a big kid` .... Enjoy