[ENF] Weirdos From Another Planet

[Meepo]

A bit of an experiment, this story deviates from my usual writing style.

---

St. Barbara was a calm little community, somewhere in the American Midwest. It had always been a pleasant place to live, where nothing ever really happened – it had a high school with its proms, large corn fields full of crows, a little diner, and everything else one might expect to find in a sleepy town. Thus, if you were standing on the hill outside the city on a cold July night, you wouldn't really expect to see anything of interest.

If you chose this particular July night, however, you would be wrong. Thick darkness lay about the city like a veil, but up in the skies there were a pair of lights: If you squinted, you would see that the lights belonged to a flying saucer. Surely you would be surprised, maybe even afraid – but before you'd have time to run anywhere, the two lights would begin to descend. Before long, you'd see two figures standing at the foot of the hill, looking around in awe.

“So this is Earth, huh? Are you sure, Tedozjigox?” said one of them.

“Hush! We must use our Earthling identities now. You will call me Ted.”

“Oh, right. And I'm...?”

“You're Ned. This small community is probably suspicious of outsiders, so be careful. Remember the mission.”

Ned and Ted nodded to each other. They appeared as two ordinary human males, save perhaps a slightly odd tinge to their skin and a weird look to their eyes. Ted wore a black pinstripe suit; Ned wore a gray pinstripe suit. As they stood overlooking St. Barbara, Ned pressed a button on his wrist-watch, and the flying saucer above them turned invisible.

“What now, Ted?”

“Now, we wait for day. Humans are diurnal creatures. When they wake up, we can begin to learn about their culture and sample their Soft Fabric.”

–

If you were to enter St. Barbara on a beautiful July morning, you would see a perfectly ordinary American town, albeit on this day preparing for celebrating the Fourth of July. Ted and Ned strolled through the town, taking in all the banners and signs with great interest and marveling at the local customs. Where they walked past, most took them for tourists – perhaps Japanese – although their formal outfits matched poorly with their excited, almost childish behavior.

“See, Ted! They eat dogs!”

“Curious. Shall we sample some?”

“Absolutely. Good sir, may we have two of your finest 'hot dogs'?”

Ted and Ned smiled politely at the vendor, walking down the street with their hot dogs in their hands. Before Ted had time to even taste his, however, he froze in place. He struck Ned so hard in the stomach, that the other dropped his food.

“Ted! That was not very nice.”

“Silence, Ned! Look!”

They both gazed in awe. Down the street walked a gorgeous young woman, dressed similarly to the aliens themselves. She wore a gray pant-suit which concealed most of her beautiful body, though her curvaceous hips were almost impossible to hide; her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she wore half-moon shaped glasses. Click-click-click she hurried down the street in her black heels, walking over to the St. Barbara Public Library, and unlocking the door. Above it hung a banner, which read “Patriotic Exhibit!”

“Do you see what I see, Ned?”

“Oh my. Such perfection!”

“Shall we?”

“We shall.”

They walked up to the library door, following the woman inside. She was already busy, placing books on display – most of them were on American presidents. Ted and Ned nodded politely to her, and disappeared in behind a pair of bookshelves. They waited until she had turned away from them, and then Ned produced a peculiar object from his pocket. It looked rather like a remote control.

“Careful, Ned! The Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator is a powerful tool.”

Ned nodded solemnly to his colleague, peered out from between the bookshelf, and pointed it at the woman, pressing the “Undo” button. The woman's jacket popped open. It didn't seem as though she noticed anything – she was busy climbing a small step-ladder, and it was a rather warm day. She wore a white blouse underneath.

Now, Ned pressed the “Unzip” button. The zipper on the woman's pants slid down, but she didn't notice this either – she stretched, trying to reach a book on a tall top shelf, as her pants slid down little by little, revealing plain white panties. Ned pressed “Descent”, speeding up the process.

“Oh!” shouted the woman in surprise as her pants fell to around her ankles. Her legs were bare underneath, and quite well-shaped. She blinked in confusion and tried to lean down to pull them up, but it was difficult, standing as she was on the narrow step-ladder. It wobbled, and she fell!

“Ned! The human must not be harmed!” Ted whispered.

Quickly, Ned pressed “Suspend”. The woman's jacket hung in mid-air for a second, enough to straighten her up and lift her off the step-ladder. In the process, her shoes fell off her feet, and her pants dropped from around her ankles. She blinked a little – had she been hovering for a second? Blushing slightly, she looked around the library but couldn't see anyone. She swallowed, reaching for her pants.

They moved away. She blinked. Hesitantly, she took a step closer to them... and they moved away again! It was like in an old silent movie, except she wasn't chasing a hat, she was chasing her pants! Again she followed them – again they jumped out of her reach!

“Is there anyone there?” she asked, half in panic now.

“No!” responded Ned. The woman instantly became furious. “I don't know how you kids managed to do this, but this is a highly inappropriate prank to pull on someone! I demand you stop it this instant!”

In response, the pants slid away another few inches. The woman ran towards them, intending to pin them down by stepping on them – and she succeeded! “Hah! Now just to detach your fishing-line or whatnot, and I'll be calling your parents right this instant.”

She bent over, searching the pants for some line or thread that must have been attached to them. As she did so, her panties abruptly slid to around her knees! She jumped to her feet, fumbling to catch them but only managed to grope herself, looking rather silly. Hurriedly she bent over to pull them back up, but just then the pants moved again, pulled out from under her feet like a rug!

She landed on her back, her legs in the air – and her panties sailed off, flying through the air until they came to land on top of a lamp! Now she was blushing furiously, and covering her crotch with her hands, climbed to her feet. “Children!” she shouted, but her voice sounded less certain now. “I demand you stop this! I'll call the police!”

“Why does she assume we are children, Ted?”

“I do not know, Ned.”

The two men stepped out from their hiding-place. The librarian's eyes became wide as saucers when she saw two grown, elegant men in pinstripe suits where she had been expecting harmless kids. She blushed rosy-red, and hunching over, hurried in behind her desk. Below the waist, she was only wearing a pair of socks.

“G- gentlemen-” she stammered, “Wh- what is going on?”

“We do not know. We are merely a pair of normal human patrons here to read about the Fathering Founders. Ouch! Founding Fathers.”

“Indeed.”

With those words, the two men stepped over and picked up a pair of books at random, starting to read them with great interest. The librarian gaped in astonishment and was about to say something, but just then the door to the library opened! In stepped a teenage boy.

“Hi, Ms. Langford. I'm here to help out with the patriotic exhibit!”

“Oh? Oh. Oh! Oh...”

“What?”

“N- nothing, I just don't think now is the best time,” said Ms. Langford, self-conscious of the fact that her naked lower body was only hidden by a desk. If the kid so much as walked around it... Oh, and what if he spotted her pants? How couldn't he, they were right on the...
Ms. Langford stared in disbelief at where her pants had been a second earlier. They were gone.

“But, Ms. Langford! I'm getting leave from first period to help out! I don't want it to look like I'm skipping class!”

“Th- that's fine dear, I won't tell anyone-” said Ms. Langford, sweating. “Why don't you... go down to the diner and have yourself a nice ice cream sundae? I'll pay, just come here and- No, don't come here!”

“But I really want to help! Plus I want to ask your help with a paper I'm writing! Are you feeling all right, Ms. Langford?”

“P- peachy!” said the librarian with a smile so nervous that it almost looked crazy.

Suddenly, a quizzical look passed over the teenagers' expression as something caught his eye. He looked upwards, and Ms. Langford followed his gaze – he was looking at her panties, which were slowly sliding off the lamp where they had landed!

“Um! All right then!” she said rapidly, “Why don't you go collect all the books you can on, uh, Thomas Jefferson?”

“Right away, ma'am.” said the boy, and still looking curiously at the panties, he disappeared around a few bookshelves. Ms. Langston pressed herself against the desk, hoping he wouldn't catch a glimpse of her curvy, naked behind; it didn't seem like he did. Once he was gone, she turned once more to the strange men in the pinstripe suits.

“Listen, you two. I don't know what's happening here but... could you help me? I'd like my... underpants, please, if it's not too much trouble. Could you fetch them? Discreetly,” she added.

“Underpants? What underpants? Do you see any such things, Theodore?”

“Is my name Theodore?”

“According to this book, yes. See? Theodore 'Ted' Roosevelt.”

“How interesting. That must make you Neodore.”

“Gentlemen!” interrupted Ms. Langston, “Please! They're right there on the ceiling... lamp...”

She blinked. They had been there a moment before! The boy had been looking right at them! Where could they have gone? She looked around in panic – being caught without pants was bad enough, but to be entirely bottomless...

“Please! Theodore, and, uh... Neodore. Could either of you gentlemen help me? You've seen what a predicament I'm in!”

Ted and Ned put their books back on the shelf, nodded in unison, and walked out of the library without another word. Ms. Langston looked at them pleadingly – she hoped they had understood. If they could just walk down the street and buy her something to wear...

Ted and Ned, however, stopped immediately outside the door.

“That was a close call. We must be more careful.”

“Yes. But there is more soft fabric we must sample. The white fabric is different.”

“Let us use the window.”

They moved around to look in through a window. There was Ms. Langston, leaning over to look after the teenager, a little bit of her naked hip visible above the desk but nothing else.

“There is no need to take the outer garment. She seems fond of it.”

“Indeed.”

Ned pointed the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator at Ms. Langston, and pressed “Undo” once more. Now, the buttons of her blouse came undone as well, and she didn't notice this time either – she was too busy trying to keep track of the boy, who seemed to have vanished from her sight altogether. Hurrying before she noticed anything, Ned pressed the “Bisect” button, aiming for the sleeves of the blouse. It took great finesse to do so without harming the jacket, but he managed to cut slits in them from cuffs to collar.

Ms. Langston suddenly felt a crawling sensation all over her upper body. It tickled infernally and she hugged herself, wondering what was happening to her – then she saw it! Her blouse was sliding down her back, no longer attached to anything! She reached after it trying to catch it, but she missed, and it danced out to land on the floor behind her. Quickly she spun, to try to pounce on it and catch it – but something stopped her in the last minute!

“Ms. Langston?”

She spun around, hugging her jacket tightly together. The boy raised an eyebrow again, but it didn't seem like he noticed she wasn't wearing her blouse. She sighed, thanking her lucky stars that the boy was so inattentive – then again, all the naked skin he could see were her collarbones.

“I found a whole bunch of books, I think too many. Could you come with me and help me pick out the best ones?”

“No need, no need,” smiled Ms. Langston in panic, “Bring them all! Hurry up!”

“Uh, okay.”

He turned around, going back the way he had came. Ms. Langston waited until she couldn't see him anymore, then spun around to catch her blouse – but like the pants and panties before it, it was mysteriously gone! She swallowed, looking around: Was the library haunted or something? No, there must be a natural explanation. Perhaps those two men were Soviet spies? Maybe they had hypnotized her? Could it be some sort of weapon? Perhaps she should alert the FBI!

She didn't have time to get much further in her reasoning, before she felt something tickle her upper body again – this time in a much more intimate location. She hugged the jacket tightly around herself, but she could already feel what was wrong: Her bra strap had come undone, and it didn't seem like the shoulder straps were attached to anything either. Desperately, she squeezed her breasts with her arms, hoping they would hold the brassiere in place. They did.

Unfortunately, the kid was coming back. He slammed down a pile of books on the counter, and turned to Ms. Langston. She straightened her back, and tried to look presentable. Unfortunately, this included not squeezing her own boobs, and so she had to relax her grip. She felt the bra slip away, falling to the floor. Nervousness forced her to do something with her hands: She settled on buttoning the jacket back up, only to discover the buttons were gone. She hastily crossed her arms instead.

Ms. Langston's heart was racing. What was going on? She was standing face to face with a high school student, wearing nothing but an unbuttoned jacket and a pair of socks – and he was still completely oblivious!

“These are the books! Where should I put them?”

“Uh, put them over by the panties.”

“What?”

Ms. Langston mentally kicked herself. “Um, the shelf. Shelves. Over there. Those shelves. Put them there.”

The student nodded, and walked over to the shelf, obediently placing the books side by side on display. He was turned away from her, but they still weren't more than a few steps apart.

“Are you sure you're okay, Ms. Langston?”

“Yes, oh yes, I'm- I'm just a little naked. Tired! Tired.”

“If you say so,” said the student, beginning to climb the little step-ladder to place books on higher shelves. Ms. Langston froze: If he turned around now, he'd be able to see down behind the desk. Maybe not a great lot, but he'd be able to see something. Barely-contained panic overwhelmed her, and she decided to hurry away. She could go to the bathroom. Bathroom! Yes!

She stepped out from behind the desk, hurriedly making her way across the open floor to the staff bathrooms. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough.

She heard a book drop to the floor behind her. Her entire body turned beetroot red, or at least that's what she felt like, and barely-contained panic turned into not-at-all-contained panic. She broke into a sprint, running as fast as she could to the staff bathroom, trying to forget about how much her naked butt-cheeks were bouncing and jiggling in plain view of the shocked student. She reached the door, crashing into it.

Locked! How could this be? This couldn't possibly be getting any worse! She turned around, looking for some way to escape, something to cover herself with... and noticed the student was gone. She exhaled in relief – maybe he had just gone back to class. Then she heard his voice outside, shouting at maximum volume.

“Ms. Langston is streaking in the library! She's almost completely naked! Hurry, guys! It's a patriotic exhibitionist!”

Her heart caught in her throat. It had gotten worse.

–

Ted and Ned, meanwhile, were inspecting the samples they had collected.

“How helpful of that lady to identify these items. So these are 'panties'.”

“So it appears. One wears them about the hips.”

“Fascinating. I wonder if there are many different kinds?”

“We shall have to find out. For our next collection, I want to handle the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator. You have had your turn.”

“Of course, Ted.” said Ned, pressing the “Store” button again. The panties swirled into a miniature vortex, and disappeared.

[ob45lol]

This is excellent and you can continue as soon as you like.

[cerindclvr]

comical and sexy! an excellent addition to the forums sir

[elalamein]

Hmm... Wouldn't the second weirdo's name be Nheodore?

[Meepo]

Originally Posted by elalamein

Hmm... Wouldn't the second weirdo's name be Nheodore?

Good point. Maybe he couldn't pronounce it?

[Mackie]

Teasing ending. I like the aliens, a nice story with some funny moments, look forward to the next instalment.

[Meepo]

Weirdos From Another Planet: The Sequel

It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon. Ted and Ned had been on Earth for less than a day, but they were enjoying themselves immensely. Partly because their mission was going well so far, but also because of a piece of advice they had overheard from their previous subject, Ms. Langford at the library.

“This 'ice cream sundae' is delicious.”

“You said it, Ned. I wish they had such treats on our home plan- ouch! In our home country.”

“Yes, indeed, we come from a different nation.”

“But still from Earth.”

“Obviously.”

They hunched down over their ice cream sundaes suspiciously, but nobody seemed to have caught Ted's mistake. The little diner remained as quiet as it had been before: There were few customers, and the two aliens had strategically placed themselves far away from the high school students in one corner, and the pair of policemen in the other. The only one who seemed to have noticed anything odd was the young waitress walking towards their table.

“Can I get you gentlemen anything else?”

Ted and Ned both looked up at her. She was older than the high school students, though not by much: A blond girl with bubblegum in her mouth. For a woman, they noted, she was rather tall, with long legs and an athletic build. Her hair was long and straight, held in place by a headband, and her work-clothes seemed to fit her a little poorly: The blue skirt ended above her knees, so that all of her white stockings could be seen, and her white T-shirt looked pretty tight. If not for the black apron she wore above it, one would probably see the outlines of her bra quite plainly.

“We would like some... coffee.”

“Yes. Coffee.”

“Be right with ya.”

She headed for the counter. Right as she turned her back on them, they leaned together.

“We should have paid attention before. Did you see the Soft Fabric wrapped about her hips?”

“I did. What of that black thing? Do you suppose it is some type of armor?”

“We shall have to find out. Here, use the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator, but be careful.”

Ted nodded, taking the strange remote-control like device from his friend and hiding it under the table, just in time for the waitress to return with two steaming hot cups of coffee. They thanked her, and lifted up the cups to sample the dark liquid as she turned away from them. Carefully, Ted pressed the “unhook” button.

The waitress suddenly shivered a little, and straightened her back. She turned around, looking behind her, but there wasn't anyone there. Hesitantly she put a hand on her back – somehow, her bra had come unhooked. She blushed a little, and set her tray down on the counter. Discreetly she stepped in behind a tall tray rack, fiddling with the clasp of her bra while trying to look unaffected by the event.

She swallowed, biting her tongue as she tried to get the bra back on, but it was almost impossible – it was as if it had a life of its own, snaking away from her touch. She didn't have time to work on it for long.

“Miss!”

“Coming!” she said, a slight blush on her face as she walked towards the two policemen. She walked about halfway before she stopped, puzzled at a strange sensation. The bra was... gliding downwards. She touched her shoulders instinctively, pretending to brush something away – the shoulder-straps weren't there! Somehow her bra had become strapless, and now gravity was slowly pulling it downwards with each step.

“Miss!”

She hurried her pace, consciously avoiding leaning down at the table. “Can I help you?”

“We'd like some more cherry pie, miss. And may I say, you make a damn fine cup of coffee!”

“Th- thank you. It'll be right out.”

She hurried back towards the kitchen – by now her bra was on her stomach, and she could feel her breasts bouncing with every step.

“Two cherry pies. Oh, and could someone cover for me in the diner for a second? I need to visit the ladies' room.”

Both of her co-workers shook their heads. “Sorry, Shelly. We need to get ready for the lunch rush.”

Swallowing, she turned around to head back into the diner, tugging a little at her escaping bra – or at least, tugging at the area where it had been before. It wasn't anymore. Had it fallen out somehow? She looked around, and there it was: Right on the floor behind the counter. It was in a crumpled heap, but she recognized the pink fabric. How had it managed to slip out of her clothes like that? And what had happened to the straps? She couldn't help but hug her chest a little, feeling uneasy.

Well, there wasn't any time to put it on again – the policemen were waiting. She pushed it to the side with her foot so nobody would step on it, grabbed the pot of coffee and headed for her customers. No need to worry, she told herself – nothing illegal about not wearing a bra. Besides, with the apron, it's not like they'd be able to tell anyway. She nodded to herself: The apron was doing a more than adequate job. It was strange, but it wasn't a crisis situation. All she had to do was try not to think about it. Think about something else, like kittens. Her cat back home was having kittens – would she be able to take care of them? She certainly hoped so...

Just like that, her train of thought was interrupted. She felt her foot catch on something, and she tripped, falling forwards so that the coffee pot flew out of her hands, smashing against the floor!

Back at their table, Ned slapped Ted on the wrist. “Careful! You know we must make sure nobody gets hurt!”

“I'm sorry. I pressed the wrong button.”

“Hurry up, before she realizes what happened!”

Ted nodded. Ned, meanwhile, glanced over to the waitress to see how she was doing; one of the policemen was helping her up.

“Are you okay, miss? That looked like a nasty fall.”

“I'm all right. I tripped on... something.” she said, looking back at the floor – there didn't seem to be anything to trip on. She was sure of it, though. Something had caught around her ankles, but she couldn't figure out what it might be – there was nothing there.

“Well, good thing the coffee didn't hit anyone.” said the policeman sympathetically.

“What? Uh, yes. I'm so sorry! I'll go clean it up right away!”

“It's all right. Accidents happen.”

Shelly hurried back towards the counter, putting on another pot of coffee and then disappearing into the kitchen. She was gone for a little while, during which time Ted and Ned curiously inspected the policemen, but concluded that there was nothing interesting about them. Presently Shelly returned, carrying a dustpan and a brush. She leaned over, carefully sweeping the glass into the pan.

It was curious. What could she possibly have tripped on? It had felt like... like something textile. Like panties, actually. She froze up. Was she still wearing her panties? Of course she was. Right?

A cold breeze in her nether regions told her that no, in fact she wasn't. She stood up straight at once, blushing almost feverishly. No panties – and the way that she had been bending over... She turned around, trying to look casual. Surely nobody had seen anything?

Two girls in the group of high school kids were giggling, and a young man was looking extremely awkward. It... it didn't have to mean anything, did it? All three of them were avoiding eye contact with her, but perhaps they were just shy or something. Right?

“Miss?” asked one of the policemen, “Weren't you going to clean this up?”

“O- of course!” Shelly answered, and stepped around the puddle of coffee so that nobody was behind her when she bent down. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the teenagers – they had leaned over, and the girls were whispering frantically to the entire group. She strained her ears, trying to hear them, but it was no use. Her heart was racing – how much had they seen?

She got up, carrying the dustpan to the kitchen and getting rid of all the glass. Bringing out a mop and bucket, her head was spinning with strange thoughts. Had she forgotten to put on panties this morning? No, she couldn't have – but how could they just fall off? Had the elastic just broken all of a sudden? She felt hot and cold all at once as she mopped up the coffee on the floor before the two policemen, intently aware of the fact that she had no underwear on whatsoever. It didn't take long before the floor was clean, or at least clean enough.

“Um, done. I apologize again, I have no idea how I could be so clumsy.”

“It's quite all right. Now how about those pies?”

“I'm sure they'll be done in a minute. As will your coffee. Again, I'm-”

Suddenly she felt something move at the back of her neck. She reached for it instinctively, trying to figure out what it was – just as her fingers touched it, she discovered it was the knot of her apron. It came undone, and she tried to catch it – but too late: The apron neatly folded away from her chest, and then fell off entirely. Both of the policemen stared.

“Um, I'll- be right back-” she stammered, and half-ran into the kitchen. Her tight T-shirt left very little to the imagination, and since she wasn't wearing a bra she knew exactly what the men had been looking at. She shivered, with fear and with a twinge of excitement – and couldn't help but wonder if they had liked what they saw.

“I'msorrybutIreallyhavetogo” she spat at one of her co-workers and disappeared into the staff bathroom, locking the door.

Out in the diner, Ned and Ted watched the apron where it lay in a crumpled heap. Ted was about to press “Store” to make it vanish, but his companion stopped him, for the two policemen were still looking at it. One of them spoke.

“Bill, right me if I'm wrong – but did she just untie her apron like that for no reason?”

“It sure looked like it. She fumbled a bit with the knot, and then it just kinda... fell off.”

“Did you, uh, catch a glimpse...?”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“Wow's the word.”

There was a moment of silence between the two men, during which they just stared into space. They were interrupted when another waitress brought them their pie and coffee with a polite nod – she picked up the apron and put it on a hanger, from which it surreptitiously vanished as soon as she turned her back.

Shelly looked at herself in the mirror. It had to be a dream or something – she had not just flashed her breasts to a pair of officers, had she? And... had she flashed something else to those high schoolers? She had to make sure. Standing in front of the mirror she lifted her skirt a little, and sure enough, she could see much more than she had hoped to see.

“This is crazy,” she said to herself, shaking her head. “Wake up, Shelly. Wake up.”

She leaned down over the sink and turned on the water, gathering some in her cupped hands and splashing it over her face. “Wake up,” she told herself, “Wake up.”

She didn't wake up. Instead she jumped as someone suddenly knocked on the door, and the water cupped in her hands missed its mark. She looked at her reflection, horrified. “Oh no, oh no, oh no...”

“Shelly! Come out! The lunch rush will be starting soon, we need you!”

“Uh, I can't!”

“What do you mean, you can't? Hurry up in there. Five minutes at most, ya hear me?”

“O- okay. Shit, shit, shit...” she added to herself, tearing out paper towels from the dispenser and wiping them frantically all over her breasts. It wasn't working – the fabric was completely soaked. How could she have been so clumsy? Not only had the water managed to splash precisely on her boobs and nowhere else – it was also ice cold, and she could see the effect it had on her nipples.

She looked around the room desperately, but there was nothing else to wear. Of course there wasn't, it was just a staff bathroom. Her best chance was to simply don the apron again. She unlocked the door, veritably flying out of the room and back into the kitchen.

“Linda! Where's my apron?”

“I put it on the hanger out in the diner.”

She hurried her step, walking out once more among the customers – fortunately, the policemen had left. The teenagers and the two strange foreigners were still there though, and they were staring at her with great interest. She blushed, well aware of what they could see, and scanned the hangers to find her apron – it wasn't there!

“Shelly! Shelly!” she heard someone call, and turned her head over her shoulder. It was one of the teenage girls. “We'd like to pay.”

Swallowing, she walked to behind the counter as the little group got to their feet. They stepped up to approach her, and she could see where their gazes were falling. She blushed, trying to act nonchalant – it was her best chance to preserve some dignity.

“I have a question, though,” asked the girl, leaning closer to Shelly until she was almost whispering. “Do we still have to pay if you're not wearing any panties?”

Shelly's eyes widened and she bit her tongue. “Uh- of- of- um- of course not. On the house. Just... don't mention it to anyone, okay? Please?”

“Of course not. Oh, and Joey here would like to ask you out, just so you know. I guess he liked what he saw.”

Shelly couldn't help but make eye contact with Joey – he was eighteen, two years younger than herself, and he was blushing nearly as much as she was.

“I, uh, like what I'm seeing now too.” he said with a sheepish smile. “I mean, your face. Not your, uh...”

“Tits.” the girl added helpfully.

“Tits! Right. I like your tits. I mean I don't like your tits! I mean, they're nice but your ass is nicer. Face! I mean face!”

“Th- thanks-” Shelly sputtered, hugging her breasts with her arms now, well aware of how everyone was staring. “Um, thanks, but no thanks. On the date. Maybe some other time.”

“Oh... okay. Well, uh, bye then.”

He turned to leave, but the other teenagers were lingering behind, still looking at her expectantly. She glanced around the room, trying to distract herself, and her eyes fell on the two strangers, who were playing with some kind of machine. She vaguely heard one of them say “Now, Ted!”

“So...” said one of the girls finally, “We don't have to pay, then?”

“What? Uh, no. No, you're free to leave.”

They turned around to go, still talking amongst themselves, and Shelly breathed a sigh of relief. She had a moment of respite – maybe enough to borrow some clothes or something. Or call in sick. Yes, she could call in sick.

There was a loud crash behind her. All the teenagers spun around, looking at a white-faced Linda who was standing in the door to the kitchen. She had dropped a tray full of mugs.

“Shelly! You're not wearing any skirt!”

“What?”

Shelly looked down: Apparently she wasn't! Shocked, she pulled at the front of her T-shirt, trying desperately to cover herself.

“I don't know how this happened! I swear!” she shouted, trying to look for some way to run, but Linda blocked the exit to the kitchen.

“She dropped her skirt while she was talking to us?”

“Wow, she must be a lesbian or something.”

“A pretty desperate lesbian.”

“Yeah.”

Closing her eyes and clamping her hands over her crotch, Shelly whimpered slightly in panic. This couldn't possibly get worse.

Then she remembered the lunch rush.

---

“What a nice woman, Ted.”

“Indeed. I did not know it was customary that food is free if the host does not wear panties.”

“We shall have to remember this. Next time we eat, the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator could come in handy.”

“Indeed. May I use it again?”

“Of course, Ted.”

They walked down the street together, pleased with all they had seen and learned here on planet Earth.

[ob45lol]

Winning stuff. I liked the Phlogiston story too - maybe you might expand it one day.

[elalamein]

This is a really great angle for an ENF story! It's really striking just the right balance of playful and sexy.

They keep embarrassing these poor women, but the protagonists are just so gosh-darn innocent that you can't stay mad at them.

[Mackie]

Still love the two aliens. Enjoyed that story and like the teasing endings