How About Funny Stuff?

[curlypubes]

I didn't see a thread for this - maybe there is no interest. I saw a hilarious sexual situation last weekend and thought it was too good to keep to myself.

A couple of buddies got me an invite to one of their buddy’s bachelor party because there was going to be strippers and they know how much I like strippers. There were 2 dancers there both typical stripper types. A while into it they got the groom up front for the usual torment. They got him down to his boxers and had him lay on his back on the floor. Then they announced they were going to have him participate in a contest and if he won, he'd get a big prize. The contest was whether he could identify the strippers by their smell. So, the first one squatted over his face with her pussy a few inches from his nose and told him to breathe deep. He made a show of sniffing loudly and making comments like "I could eat that" and so on. After a minute she stood up and the other stripper did the same thing.

After that, they blindfolded him. Then one squatted over his face again and told him to sniff. They said okay, that's number 1. Then the other stripper did the same thing and they said that is number 2. The one of the guys got up and made motions to everyone to be quiet. As the strippers were talking the guy opened to door to the adjoining room and in came a very large woman, probably 350 or so. I found out later that she was the sister of his coworker who agreed to be in on the prank. Another one of the guys in on it said they told her not to wash for a couple of days too.

So the one stripper asks the groom who the first stripper was based on her smell. He guessed wrong but she told him he was right. As he is answering the big girl moves in and straddles his head but still standing up. The stripper says "You want to see the big prize you won?" He says he's ready. At this point the big girl squats over his face as the one stripper pulls the mask off. It takes a few seconds to sink in that he is staring at the hugest pussy and ass he has probably ever seen naked and no doubt none within inches of his face. He starts to say "what the fuck" but never gets past "the" when the girl drops on her knees and slams her huge ass and pussy smack onto his face. His arms and legs are flailing about but he is pinned by this huge woman who is now grinding her ass and pussy on his face. His screams are muffled by her huge ass covering his entire head!

Finally the groom breaks free and jumps up and starts cursing everyone. You can see juice glistening on his face and in his beard and moustache. Everyone is laughing their ass off as he runs into the other room. A minute later we can hear the shower start. The woman stuck around for a bit not at all embarrassed to be that big and naked. Lots of the guys were slipping her tips for the humorous show she put on. She eventually left, the strippers continued their show included a very inspirational segment involving a large double dildo.

I finally got home about 3am, crawled into bed and put my hand on my wife's ass. She woke up and said "if the strippers made you horny go jerk off and don't get it on me." So I did, twice.

But I have to tell you - the groom flailing around trapped by that huge smelly pussy and ass was the funniest damn thing I have seen in years! Anyone have any funny sexual stories to add?