Wife's self esteem

[winston optic beer]

Just reading the recent posts here, it occurred to me that there is a virtuous circle of confidence. There are few things more attractive in a woman than confidence. Feeling more attractive feeds that confidence. And so it continues.

[mallynb]

Originally Posted by JustMe77

I let her know how gorgeous she is all the time. She's incredible, and I still get aroused just thinking about her. I know other men look at her, but I don't think she believed it. I understand self esteem issues too, though. She has admitted having multiple men interested in her is a turn on, and I assume this would help her self esteem. I don't know if anything has ever happened between them, and it's not a big deal if it has.

I can speak about my own experience with my wife that past and present wife.

Wife that past, most of the photos posted on OCC. We went to clothing optional resorts when younger and into late 30s to early 40s.

Mid 40s she put on weight and was bothered that she did not feel sexy or desirable any more.
Her tits got quite big and found out even with a bigger body guys would stare at her boobs.

She loved the fact that she felt like she may still have it.

Out of the blue one day she said let’s go to the Grand Lido in Jamaica. She was mid 40s extra weight.

We went and she was so proud to flop out her big tits and walk around.
She found all guys love to see big tits along with her huge areola’s.
Her self esteem rise was very positive, she was glad we went.
Now she was hesitant about removing her bottoms with her big butt but eventually did with a thick top patch and lower half bald.

Back home she had a lesbian girl friend that so wanted to dive into her big tits. We would meet up with her at some local bars. My wife would go no bra and drive her girl friend crazy especially when dancing.

My story will share later current wife and self esteem .

Now Jusme77 I think getting her share her body a little would be a good start.
Post some photos of her tits on OCC no face us guys will express how much they like them and want more.

She will feel sexy and may open up even more her desires, I found the more you talk about it the better.
I look forward to seeing her beautiful body,

[JustMe77]

My wife is certainly not a prude, but I'm confident enough she wouldn't be up for sharing her pictures online that I'm not going to ask. As much as I'd love that, and I'm sure you guys would too, that's too risky an ask for me.

[Marquis De Shady]

Originally Posted by naturistwineboy

Have you gone to a clothing optional resort? Once she sees that she's probably perfectly normal, things may change.

I know nudism made a huge difference for my ex-wife.

She did put on some pounds after I met her; and it did affect her self-esteem. She was willing to try nudism, but struggled a lot with social nudity; hiding behind her sarong.
Then one female friend we'd met encouraged her to take off her sarong and hang out completely naked with her; and the unexpected positive feedback she received completely changed the way she viewed her body. She actually started liking being seen naked. Maybe even a little too much!

Getting them "out there", though, can be a lot easier said than done.

[Hornyinde]

Originally Posted by winston optic beer

Just reading the recent posts here, it occurred to me that there is a virtuous circle of confidence. There are few things more attractive in a woman than confidence. Feeling more attractive feeds that confidence. And so it continues.

I think you are correct. This played out with my wife exactly. It just took that last little nudge to get her to take a chance, after many years of positive feedback from me.

It was the positive feedback from other men that set off that “virtuous circle of confidence”. When she realized it wasn’t just her husband who thought she was attractive, but other men who looked at her in a sexual way, you could see it. Her facial expression. The way she carried herself and walked. Proudly letting her breasts and vulva be seen by others.

[Marquis De Shady]

“Virtuous circle of confidence”. I like that! And it does seem to be a common experience.

Looking at it from "levels" of confidence, my (ex) wife started out at "Level 0"; considered herself a "butterbody." Too self-conscious to be seen openly naked; sometimes even by me. Covered up in a sarong most of the time at resorts; except when swimming, and then quickly covering up in a towel when exiting the pool.

Then a friend manages to talk her out of her sarong and hang out naked with her. Even though it's a small group, she still feels very self-conscious; yet she receives unexpected positive feedback, be it in approving looks after getting naked, to outright compliments on "letting all hang out." The wife feels good about it; "Level 1" unlocked.

We then later go to a new nudist resort; and the pool area is very crowded. She hesitates at first; but decides to stay naked. She starts socializing with the "strangers" around us; and people (men and women) are clearly enjoying her company (although possibly for different reasons lol!). She enjoys the interaction and is comfortable being naked in front of these "strangers", and "Level 2" is now unlocked.

A few trips later, a combination of a couple of things have happened. One male friend (we've now made several) tells my wife in a roundabout way how much he enjoys seeing her big boobs and big round ass (he got away with that because we were friends); transitioning my wife's body-image from "butterbody" to "hotbody.". And one woman has approached my wife and told her how much her confidence inspires her, which further boosts her confidence. "Level 3" unlocked.

Another few trips later, and my wife's body-language has completely changed from "Level 0." She is now shaven completely smooth, sunbathes legs open; and has no inhibitions about people looking (as long as it's not creepy). When she walks around, she is walking with her shoulders back, and her big boobs bouncing gracefully. She doesn't care much about how exposed she is while socializing or doing activities; as a matter of fact she often gets a kick out of it, even joking about it. "Level 10" unlocked. No inhibitions.
Unironically, I had almost nothing to do with it. Other people were more of a motivation than me, in spite of my best efforts!

Anyway, yes; it's a "circle" of "cause and effect." It works (but not always).

[Carrie K]

Originally Posted by JustMe77

My wife has been struggling with her self eteen as she ages. I keep telling her she's getting sexier as she ages, but she just writes that off because of the fact I love her.

She has recently expressed interest in having an extra-marital affair, with my blessing. She has a friend she's very attracted to, and he's definitely into her.

I'm not at a point where I'm comfortable showing pictures, but based on the description, what do you guys think of her? Anything you can tell her to get her feeling better about herself?

Hi.
I wouldn't recommend her having an affair. One imagines it's fun & physical; it's more. You'll find that out when she's drunk on his attention after you've invested decades in your marriage and he's invested a couple drinks and his dick.
I understand her desire for adventure and passion... but the majority of guys telling you to go for it can regale you with anecdotes of their exes... that's not coincidental.

[DRDavenport]

Try a swing club instead. No strings, just sex and attractiveness.

DR

[Leviticus59]

Originally Posted by mossycleft

Your wife would probably be surprised how many guys would go crazy over her, especially her hairy pussy.

I agree with this. My wife, like most of the rest of you guys are reporting, put on some pounds as she got older. When we were about 45 we dipped our toes into the lifestyle waters and it was amazing to both of us how many guys were interested in her. Oh, and she kept her hairy muff too, something that turned into quite the occasional conversation piece.

She never had the slightest trouble attracting any and all the dick she wished to enjoy, including a couple of long-term boyfriends as the years rolled by. And this was as she began to look increasingly like a plump, grandma type you wouldn't glance at twice in the grocery store.

Weight doesn't really matter. Attitude does.

[cuck4annie]

My wife suffered from constant guilt. Her best was never good enough at home., raised catholic, everything was a sin. She thought she was ugly, her homelife consisted of verbal abuse from mom, and trying to protect her younger sisters from the same. She was concerned about her growing breasts, they were hard to hide, the rest of her skinny body was still awkward and undeveloped. She started getting unwanted stares and attention from boys and men. Seems she had become popular overnight. She grew accustomed to being groped lightly by different men. She was starving for acceptance and approval, she felt confident and pretty for the first time in her life. She was not ready for full sex yet, but tried to make up for it in other ways. At that age, her young tits were torpedo shaped, with puffy, pale nipples, and very sensitive. This would have been early 1970`s, so most girls were braless and adventurous. Her elevated sense of self esteem was overcome with guilt again. I quickly learned how to use her guilt to my sexual advantage, manipulating her to perform for me, trying her best to hang on to me and keep me happy. I encouraged her to go out dancing without me, hoping it would build her self esteem, being on her own. I never asked for details, but I wish I had now. Coming home around 2 am, she would always shower before coming to bed. She gave me incredible head every time like clockwork as if to show her gratitude.