Wife's self esteem

[Hornyinde]

Our experience is similar to a few others on here. I've posted various parts of this on different discussion threads here.

My wife went through a similar feeling of low self-esteem/self-concious about her body. I think that's pretty common for women as they age. Of course a woman in her 40's and 50's may not look like she did in her 20's, but that doesn't mean she's less attractive. It may actually make her more attractive. Many men, including younger ones, like a mature woman.

Mine is still very attractive, but even with my consistent reinforcement, she thought it was because I was her husband. We were 56 at the time. I told her that when she went out, I had noticed men looking at her breasts and her ass. She thought I was crazy. When she stripped down at night, I would tell her how any man would be happy to have her as a lover, and that her hairy pussy was super exciting. We both came of age in the early 80's, when the girls she saw in locker rooms had hair, and what I saw in Playboy, and dating was the same. She's always had a bush. Thick, soft hair, trimmed into a neat triangle above, and covering her outer labia. I love it.

We had gone to a beach a few hours away. Sandy Hook State Park, in NJ. There is a clothing optional beach at the end of the peninsula, Gunnison Beach. Kind of out of the way at the park. We had gone to Sandy Hook times in the past, but never Gunnison. So yeah, I did have a "plan".

After we had spent some time at one of the other beaches, I said something about hearing they had a clothing optional beach. She looked at me like I was crazy. I had told her what's the harm, it's optional, so we can just stay in swim suits.

When we got there (a little drive, then quite a walk from that parking lot), we sat on towels in our suits. After a bit, she noticed that it was all shapes and sizes. Her confidence seemed to improve. I just stood up and took the plunge. Pulled my trunks down and then laid back down on my towel. She took her top off. Looked around. Then just pulled the bottoms off, like it was no big deal. I have to say, I got immediately hard. Good thing this isn't a resort, it's a public beach so no big deal.

After a big more just us laying there and enjoying the sun, we decided to get up and walk along the water. I was surprised and proud that her confidence was there. She walked along like it was no big deal. She didn't mind when guys looked at her, and in fact it really was a boost for her (and me!).

She is now confident to be outside in our backyard nude (we have a secluded property), and she's been asking me when we are going back to NJ.

I don't know if the original poster will have the same experience, but for my wife, it took some time, encouragement, and lastly seeing what the reality is out there. Most people don't look like movie stars or models. However, I find the average everyday person more attractive when nude.

[winston optic beer]

Just reading the recent posts here, it occurred to me that there is a virtuous circle of confidence. There are few things more attractive in a woman than confidence. Feeling more attractive feeds that confidence. And so it continues.

[mallynb]

Originally Posted by JustMe77

I let her know how gorgeous she is all the time. She's incredible, and I still get aroused just thinking about her. I know other men look at her, but I don't think she believed it. I understand self esteem issues too, though. She has admitted having multiple men interested in her is a turn on, and I assume this would help her self esteem. I don't know if anything has ever happened between them, and it's not a big deal if it has.

I can speak about my own experience with my wife that past and present wife.

Wife that past, most of the photos posted on OCC. We went to clothing optional resorts when younger and into late 30s to early 40s.

Mid 40s she put on weight and was bothered that she did not feel sexy or desirable any more.
Her tits got quite big and found out even with a bigger body guys would stare at her boobs.

She loved the fact that she felt like she may still have it.

Out of the blue one day she said let’s go to the Grand Lido in Jamaica. She was mid 40s extra weight.

We went and she was so proud to flop out her big tits and walk around.
She found all guys love to see big tits along with her huge areola’s.
Her self esteem rise was very positive, she was glad we went.
Now she was hesitant about removing her bottoms with her big butt but eventually did with a thick top patch and lower half bald.

Back home she had a lesbian girl friend that so wanted to dive into her big tits. We would meet up with her at some local bars. My wife would go no bra and drive her girl friend crazy especially when dancing.

My story will share later current wife and self esteem .

Now Jusme77 I think getting her share her body a little would be a good start.
Post some photos of her tits on OCC no face us guys will express how much they like them and want more.

She will feel sexy and may open up even more her desires, I found the more you talk about it the better.
I look forward to seeing her beautiful body,

[JustMe77]

My wife is certainly not a prude, but I'm confident enough she wouldn't be up for sharing her pictures online that I'm not going to ask. As much as I'd love that, and I'm sure you guys would too, that's too risky an ask for me.

[Marquis De Shady]

Originally Posted by naturistwineboy

Have you gone to a clothing optional resort? Once she sees that she's probably perfectly normal, things may change.

I know nudism made a huge difference for my ex-wife.

She did put on some pounds after I met her; and it did affect her self-esteem. She was willing to try nudism, but struggled a lot with social nudity; hiding behind her sarong.
Then one female friend we'd met encouraged her to take off her sarong and hang out completely naked with her; and the unexpected positive feedback she received completely changed the way she viewed her body. She actually started liking being seen naked. Maybe even a little too much!

Getting them "out there", though, can be a lot easier said than done.

[Hornyinde]

Originally Posted by winston optic beer

Just reading the recent posts here, it occurred to me that there is a virtuous circle of confidence. There are few things more attractive in a woman than confidence. Feeling more attractive feeds that confidence. And so it continues.

I think you are correct. This played out with my wife exactly. It just took that last little nudge to get her to take a chance, after many years of positive feedback from me.

It was the positive feedback from other men that set off that “virtuous circle of confidence”. When she realized it wasn’t just her husband who thought she was attractive, but other men who looked at her in a sexual way, you could see it. Her facial expression. The way she carried herself and walked. Proudly letting her breasts and vulva be seen by others.

[Marquis De Shady]

“Virtuous circle of confidence”. I like that! And it does seem to be a common experience.

Looking at it from "levels" of confidence, my (ex) wife started out at "Level 0"; considered herself a "butterbody." Too self-conscious to be seen openly naked; sometimes even by me. Covered up in a sarong most of the time at resorts; except when swimming, and then quickly covering up in a towel when exiting the pool.

Then a friend manages to talk her out of her sarong and hang out naked with her. Even though it's a small group, she still feels very self-conscious; yet she receives unexpected positive feedback, be it in approving looks after getting naked, to outright compliments on "letting all hang out." The wife feels good about it; "Level 1" unlocked.

We then later go to a new nudist resort; and the pool area is very crowded. She hesitates at first; but decides to stay naked. She starts socializing with the "strangers" around us; and people (men and women) are clearly enjoying her company (although possibly for different reasons lol!). She enjoys the interaction and is comfortable being naked in front of these "strangers", and "Level 2" is now unlocked.

A few trips later, a combination of a couple of things have happened. One male friend (we've now made several) tells my wife in a roundabout way how much he enjoys seeing her big boobs and big round ass (he got away with that because we were friends); transitioning my wife's body-image from "butterbody" to "hotbody.". And one woman has approached my wife and told her how much her confidence inspires her, which further boosts her confidence. "Level 3" unlocked.

Another few trips later, and my wife's body-language has completely changed from "Level 0." She is now shaven completely smooth, sunbathes legs open; and has no inhibitions about people looking (as long as it's not creepy). When she walks around, she is walking with her shoulders back, and her big boobs bouncing gracefully. She doesn't care much about how exposed she is while socializing or doing activities; as a matter of fact she often gets a kick out of it, even joking about it. "Level 10" unlocked. No inhibitions.
Unironically, I had almost nothing to do with it. Other people were more of a motivation than me, in spite of my best efforts!

Anyway, yes; it's a "circle" of "cause and effect." It works (but not always).