I Am Santa

[fitne]

She said she has a couple of kids of her own. Experience with kids is very useful for an Elf.

[fitne]

Nurse Amy showed up for her interview.

Me: Welcome
Nurse Amy: I have some spare time over the holidays. This sounds like an interesting way to fill in the time and also make a bit of money.
Me: We have a lot of little kids visiting Santa and they are always running around and incurring bruises and cuts.
Nurse Amy: I've dealt with lots of little kids and bruises and cuts.
Me: Interview going great. Next, I have to see you naked to check for tattoos, scars, etc.
Nurse Amy: Not a problem.

[fitne]

Me: We're looking for a security guard for crowd control and to watch for thieves.
Security guard candidate: I've done some security work at some events.
Me: Great! Interview going well. Next, I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, tattoos, etc.
Security guard candidate: No problem.

[fitne]

Security guard candidate: Heard you're looking for a security guard. I have lots of spare time over the holidays.
Me: Interview going great. Next, I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, scars, etc.
Security guard candidate: Sure, no problem.

[fitne]

This woman arrived at the interview already wearing her Elf outfit.

[fitne]

This security guard candidate arrived wearing a face covering.

Me: Pleased to meet you. I hear you are applying for the security guard position.
Applicant: Yes, I'm on Christmas break from university so I thought this would be a good way to make some extra cash. We dont celebrate Christmas in my religion.
Me: Interview going great. Next I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, tattoos, scars, etc.
Applicant: No problem but I'll have to keep my face covered.

[fitne]

A member of the military applied for the security guard position.

Me: So, you are in the military and are wearing your uniform to this interview.
Applicant: I'll free on Christmas break and heard about this opening for a security guard.

Me: Do you have any experience doing security work?
Applicant: Yes, I've done some crowd control.

Me: Interview going great. Next I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, tattoos, scars, etc.
Applicant: No problem.

[fitne]

Me: So, you're applying to be an Elf.
Applicant: Yes, I have some spare time on my hand so I thought this would be a way to kill time and make some extra cash.
Me: Do you have any experience with kids?
Applicant: Absolutely! I have 3 kids of my own.
Me: Interview going great. Next I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, tattoos, scars, etc.
Applicant: No problem.

[fitne]

Claire: Hi, I'm interested in the Elf position.
Me: Yes, we have one, maybe two, openings left to fill. Are you good with kids?
Claire: Absolutely, I used to coach a pre-teen girl's soccer team.
Me: Interview going well. Next I have to see you naked to check for any bruises, cuts, tattoos, piercings, etc,
Claire: No problem.

[fitne]

Vicky: Hi, I'm interested in the Elf position.
Me: We only have one position open.

Vicky: I want that position.
Me: Ok, let's proceed with the interview. You're an aspiring actress?
Vicky: Yes, but acting gigs are hard to find. Too much competition.
Me: Ok, I have to see you naked.

Vicky: I'm not comfortable being naked. How about if I blow you?
Me: You don't need to blow me.
Vicky: But I want to, I insist.
Me: Ok, in that case.