April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

[osreb]

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand. I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

[BlindOwl]

Well, no one complained, at least to me, and the world didn’t come to an end, when I posted a few pictures, that I thought were humorous or interesting or even WTF. . . .so I guess I will post a few more . . . .

1

[BlindOwl]

Well, no one complained, at least to me, and the world didn’t come to an end, when I posted a few pictures, that I thought were humorous or interesting or even WTF. . . .so I guess I will post a few more . . . .

2

[osreb]

A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.

The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"

She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"

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I like for pics BlindOwl..keep posting.

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[Kariba]

And maybe a couple more, while you are still in a good mood

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[BlindOwl]

Here are a few that brought a smile to my face . . .

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[Fango]

As far as joke pictures go, let's please keep them on-topic, inasmuch as there should at least be some women in them.

Thanks

Fango

[BlindOwl]

Originally Posted by Fango

As far as joke pictures go, let's please keep them on-topic, inasmuch as there should at least be some women in them.

Thanks

Fango

Ahhhh . . . the Jokes have to have women in them???? OK . . whatever

[osreb]

A politician by any other name is still a ...

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WHISKEY
In 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a member of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked about his position on whiskey. What follows is his exact answer (taken from the Political Archives of Texas):

"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.

However, if by whiskey you mean the lubricant of conversation, the philosophic juice, the elixir of life, the liquid that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it.

This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle."

[Fango]

Originally Posted by BlindOwl

Ahhhh . . . the Jokes have to have women in them???? OK . . whatever

One or two joke pics without women here or there are fine. But whole posts of them, no.

Thanks

Fango