100 pantyhose pics - part LXV

[osreb]

100 panthose pics turns 65.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

[osreb]

20

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house,
>and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to
a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant
we went to last night?'

[osreb]

30

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
>>

[osreb]

40

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

[osreb]

50

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream
parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After
catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

[osreb]

60

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later,
the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

[osreb]

70

A little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away. There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed.
"I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police." the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?" says the operator.
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing somebody!"

[osreb]

80

A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. "Can I see your drivers license?" asked the policeman to the little old man.
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"He said he wanted to see my drivers license." replied the little old man.
" I see your from Monmouth, N.J." observed the policeman.
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"Said he seeswe're from Monmouth" replied the little old man.
"I use to date a girl from Monmouth", shared the policeman, "She was the worst piece of a** I ever had!"
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"Said he thinks he knows you!" replied the little old man.

[osreb]

90

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!!"

[osreb]

An old woman saved a fairy's life. To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. Poof! She became young and beautiful. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. Poof! She was the richest woman in the world. For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years. Poof! The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. The old lady and the fairy said their goodbyes. After the fairy left, the handsome man strolled over to her and asked, "Now aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"