Under The influence

[osreb]

Irish Lent

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry , walks into
the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his
eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a
table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and
orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again
orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town
is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of
the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering
why you always order three beers?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers,
and one went to America , and the other to Australia . We
promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever
we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and
soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and
source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners
would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The
bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest
of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town.
Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me
first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your
brother.. You know-the two beers and all"

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to
hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I,
meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent

[Rhinoxxbaby]

at party

[crispus]

Some more, starting with a larger one from the same women as in Osreb's 8th photo in the 3/25 post; some, like the second, don't show a container, but do seem to show the influence; and I assume Fantasy Fest ones have it as a given...

[ronman]

very niceeee

[osreb]

Water in the Glass.

A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full,

While a pessimist would say it is half empty.

What would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER:

Would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.

The GOVERNMENT:

Would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.

The OPPOSITION:

Would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.

The ECONOMIST:

Would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.

The PHILOSOPHER:

Would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?

The PSYCHIATRIST:

Would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"

The PHYSICIST:

Would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colourless, odourless liquid, the other a colourless, odourless gas.

Thus, the cylinder is neither full nor empty.

Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

The SEASONED DRINKER:

Would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.

[Richard53]

Originally Posted by osreb

Water in the Glass.
A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full,
While a pessimist would say it is half empty.
What would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The ENGINEER:

The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

[eerrhh]

Thanx crispus! After several years, I found this pic again!

It once was in the "Nollningen and College Initiation" MSN-group with the title "Nakne studenter på bordene", which is norwegian for "nude students on the table". The pic is amazing, unfortunately I haven't seen anything else from this party.

PS. Don't miss the remarkable horns on the two guys in the sofa. DS.

[virtualclass008]

New finds

[osreb]

As Benjamin Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, .....Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

[crispus]

Just four, but I liked 'em...