"Irish" reds on St Patty's Day

[brazilianamateur]

Thanks , love ²

[osreb]

Murphy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Paddy's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!"
Murphy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.
"You jerk," yells Murphy, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

************************************************** ******************************
Q. What is Irish diplomacy?
A. It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip

[osreb]

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice
in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish
Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't
even taste it...Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how
things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith,
bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just too terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in
his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his
arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters
and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a
nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your
husband provided wasn't good?'

'It was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm
sitting here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!'