wardrobe malfunction guide for performers.

[Klondike]

Here are a few pics from Flickr re:wardrobe malfunctions. In the interests of helping women avoid these situations (NOT) when performing on stage in the future, here is a quick guide:


item 1) pasties.

Pasties are held on by mysterious forces. Do not let those forces fail you. Here are two examples of pastie failures.

more to follow.

Klondike

[Klondike]

item 2) straps

A broken strap can leave you feeling utterly helpless. While you can often get by without revealing anything of REAL importance, you are like a ticking time bomb. How long can you hold out? Can you make it through the show or will you crack under the pressure? Everyone in the audience is on the edge of their seats...

KLondike

[Klondike]

item 3) nip slips

OK, so you want to show some cleavage. Are you ready to accept the possible consequences? Here's the problem - if you know that one of your nips has decided it wants some fresh air, do you draw attention to it by tucking it back in? After all, maybe no one will notice it is out. So you have to gauge the crowd and all. Is it full of guys with sharp eyes? How far away are they? Do any of them have cameras??

A well spotted nip slip is a joy to behold and an internet treasure if captured on camera. Lets hope none of these babes are regretting how they handled their little mishap. Maybe they don't know anyone preserved it for all eternity either.

next up - watch your backside.

Klondike

[Klondike]

item 4) skirts that fall off.

If you are one of many performers on stage, you can probably survive minor mishaps such as nipslips or strap problems. But no matter how many women you are dancing with, EVERYONE will notice if your skirt suddenly heads south without warning. Notice in pic two below that one of the girls is having to hold onto her waistline. Trouble is clearly brewing. In pic three, notice she did not quite make it through the show.

Note that not everyone would upload the dicier pics from such a tragedy. I saw several galleries at Flickr where, out of respect for the woman, the most revealing pics in the wardrobe malfunction were not posted. But the guy at this Luau was not so inclined to be sensitive.....

and last up - catastrophic rips


Klondike

[Klondike]

item 5) catastrophic rips.

Maybe this is a repost but I haven't seen it.

What can I say? There is not much one can do about sudden, catastrophic failures. And if they occur behind you, you can't even see whats going on, so your awareness of the situation takes hold of you only slowly. Your first clue is probably the ripping sound which may be drowned out by other noises. Then there may be audible gasps coming from the audience. And finally, there is the sudden rush of cool air to the backside. The brain processes all this slowly, but sooner or later, its............(gulp).........could it be?............NO! NO WAY!

AAAAAAAGHHH!!

Klondike

[Fango]

Hilarious thread. Thanks for the laugh, Klondike.

Thanks

Fango

[abobql]

Originally Posted by mjmymjmy

those are great have you ever seen the vid of the girl in the miss universe pagent, she goes to pull off her sash and yanks off her bikini bottom, along the same lines

Jennifer Hawkins. It wasn't during the pageant but at a fashion show at a shopping mall not long after she won Miss Universe. The vid is on this site:
https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/showthread.php?t=2088
https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/showthread.php?t=5875

[cocacolaec]

correction, fyi, it was the miss venezuela competition and miss guarico was the one who showed the goods.

[uncle zed]

When I was in high school i was active in the drama department.

Senior year I landed the male lead in the school spring musical. One of my dance routines involved me picking a girl up on my shoulders and then sliding her back down again. Unfortunately for her, I was very tired (being the lead meant I was almost every damn dance number) and when I slid her down, I ended up rubbing her across my chest. The girls were wearing these skirts that were almost like a hula dancer's grass skirt, except made out of glittery material. When I slid her down, her skirt caught on my chest and came undone. She was wearing a thong underneath.

Did I mention that this was the performance we were doing for free; Manditory attendence for the student body?

She ended up dancing the rest of the performance in a thong while the other girls wore their grass/glitter skirts. I felt bad for exposing her, yet turned on by her exposure at the same time.

She was a trooper, finished her number without freaking out and never spoke a word of it again, even though the whole student body saw her ass. Your post brought this moment back to mind. Thanks, man.

[Klondike]

Originally Posted by uncle zed

When I was in high school i was active in the drama department.

Senior year I landed the male lead in the school spring musical. One of my dance routines involved me picking a girl up on my shoulders and then sliding her back down again. Unfortunately for her, I was very tired (being the lead meant I was almost every damn dance number) and when I slid her down, I ended up rubbing her across my chest. The girls were wearing these skirts that were almost like a hula dancer's grass skirt, except made out of glittery material. When I slid her down, her skirt caught on my chest and came undone. She was wearing a thong underneath.

Did I mention that this was the performance we were doing for free; Manditory attendence for the student body?

She ended up dancing the rest of the performance in a thong while the other girls wore their grass/glitter skirts. I felt bad for exposing her, yet turned on by her exposure at the same time.

She was a trooper, finished her number without freaking out and never spoke a word of it again, even though the whole student body saw her ass. Your post brought this moment back to mind. Thanks, man.

Thanks for the story

I can picture it, and am glad she didn't swing around at some point, slip on the skirt still lying there on the floor, and land on her ass...

mmm....that would have been just too much.....

Klondike