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#1
Yesterday, 01:25 PM
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Our Journey
Hi! My name is Rylee (all my friends and family call me Ry, pronounced just like the bread), and I'm so glad you found your way here!
I'm 33 years old, married to my high school sweetheart, and together we've built a life that's been anything but ordinary. My husband is 34, we have three amazing kids, and after all these years, we're still figuring out life together, one adventure at a time. Because of his career in hospitality management, we've moved more times than we can count. We've called different places home, packed up our lives into boxes, and learned how to travel light. These days, renting apartments has become second nature, but we're hoping to put down permanent roots in the Chicago area in the near future. We are currently renting a place in the suburbs and we like it here. One thing we've learned through all the moves is that "home" isn't really a place, it's the people you're with. Over the last ten years, we've also explored a side of our relationship that many people are curious about but few openly discuss. We participate in the wife-sharing lifestyle, and yes, it all started as my husband's idea. At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Like most things in life, it took a lot of honest conversations, trust, patience, and time before I felt comfortable exploring it myself. Looking back, it's been an incredible journey full of unforgettable experiences, funny moments, unexpected lessons, and plenty of stories we'll never forget. Some were exciting, some were awkward, and some completely changed how we viewed relationships, communication, and each other. I'm not here to convince anyone that our lifestyle is right for them. Everyone's relationship is different. Instead, we want to offer an honest look at our experiences, the highs, the challenges, the mistakes, and everything in between. If our stories entertain you, answer questions you've always been afraid to ask, or simply give you a different perspective, then we've accomplished what we set out to do. Along the way, we'll also share pieces of our everyday life. Family, moving from city to city, travel, funny moments, relationship advice, and whatever adventures come next. Life isn't one-dimensional, and neither are we. Whether you're here because you're curious, you've lived a similar lifestyle yourself, or you just enjoy reading real stories from real people, welcome. We're excited to have you along for the ride. This is only the beginning, and trust me... we've got some stories to tell. Feel free to friend me, post replies, or message me. We welcome all comments, just keep it respectful please! 
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#2
Yesterday, 01:56 PM
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Welcome to OCC!
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Again, Welcome! OCC is a very friendly place!
__________________
Feel free to visit my female only posts adult group: https://www.deviantart.com/tastefully-done
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#3
Yesterday, 02:11 PM
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Currently, I'm working on the story of how we met. I figured that would be a good place to start. Then because this is tailored to adult content, I'll hopefully share about how we got into the wife sharing lifestyle, and our experiences thus far, as well as our plans moving forward as we are approaching our mid thirties. It's been a wild ride and I would like to say that we have no regrets, but there are always a couple. Overall, we have enjoyed it, but there have been some moments that have made us uncomfortable and have forced us to ask the right questions and communicate openly in mutual trust. I hope I can do justice to our story, and I thank you all for your support as I'm building this platform.
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#4
Yesterday, 02:26 PM
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How we met
To properly start this thread I need to introduce the foundational relationship all of the adventures are built on. Yes, we have had some crazy times together, but deep down, we are rooted and grounded and committed to each other.
Every love story has a beginning, and ours started in the last place either of us expected, our senior year English class. Looking back now, it's funny how life works. We were complete opposites. He was adventurous, always looking for something exciting to do and never afraid to step outside his comfort zone. I was the quiet one who preferred staying home, enjoying the peace and keeping life simple. We barely had anything in common, but somehow, that ended up being exactly what we both needed. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, so confidence never came naturally to me. Because of that, I was always skeptical when a guy showed interest. I never knew if someone was being genuine or just joking around, and that made me keep my guard up. So when he asked for my phone number after class one day, I was completely caught off guard. There was an awkward pause as I tried to figure out if he was serious. Part of me wondered if I was about to be the punchline to someone's joke. But there was something sincere in the way he asked, so I took a chance and gave him my number. That simple moment changed everything. We started texting and talking more, and even though we didn't have much in common, our conversations just seemed to flow. He made me laugh, encouraged me to open up, and little by little, the walls I'd built over the years started to come down. He never made me feel like I had to be anyone other than myself. Our first date was at our local mall. It wasn't fancy or expensive, but it didn't need to be. We wandered through stores, talked for hours, had lunch, shared laughs, and got to know each other without any pressure. What started as a simple afternoon together became the beginning of something much bigger. As time passed, we realized that opposites really do attract. His adventurous side encouraged me to try new things and experience life outside my comfort zone. My quieter nature gave him a place to slow down, relax, and appreciate the little moments. We balanced each other in ways we never expected. Looking back now, I'm thankful I pushed through that awkward moment in English class instead of letting my insecurities convince me to walk away. One brave question from him and one hesitant "yes" from me led to a life neither of us could have imagined. Our story is proof that love doesn't always find people who look perfect, have everything in common, or expect it to happen. Sometimes it finds two completely different people sitting in the same classroom, reminds them that they're worthy of being loved exactly as they are, and writes a story that lasts a lifetime. I guess opposites really do attract.
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#5
Yesterday, 02:47 PM
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Introduction to wife sharing
About two years into our marriage, life had settled into a routine. We had welcomed our first child, and between diapers, sleepless nights, work, responsibilities, and trying to be the best parents we could be, we found ourselves running on autopilot. We loved each other deeply, but somewhere along the way, life had become predictable. We weren't unhappy, more just settled into a boring routine.
One evening after we had finally gotten our little one to sleep, we climbed into bed, exhausted as usual. The room was quiet except for the soft hum of a fan. We talked about our day for a while before the conversation drifted into how different life felt compared to when we were dating. After a long pause, my husband hesitated before saying, "Can I ask you something without you getting upset?" I laughed nervously and told him he could ask me anything. He admitted he'd been thinking about ways we could bring some excitement back into our relationship. Then, almost as if he wasn't sure he should even say the words out loud, he mentioned something he'd read about couples exploring wife sharing as a fantasy. For a moment, I just stared at him. I honestly didn't know what to think. My first reaction was surprise, followed quickly by confusion. I asked him if he was serious, and he assured me he wasn't trying to pressure me into anything. He explained that it was simply a thought that had crossed his mind, and he wanted us to be able to talk openly about anything, even ideas that sounded unconventional. That night, we didn't make any decisions. We simply talked until we got tired, and eventually agreed to sleep on it. The next day, the conversation continued. This time it wasn't as awkward. Instead of reacting emotionally, we started asking questions. We talked about trust, boundaries, communication, and why the idea had even come up in the first place. We realized it wasn't about replacing each other or fixing a broken marriage. It was about curiosity, honesty, and finding a way to add something new to a relationship that had become very routine after the whirlwind of becoming parents. Over the next several weeks, we revisited the conversation more than once. Sometimes we'd laugh about how strange the idea had seemed at first. Other times we'd have serious discussions about what it would mean for us and whether it was something we could genuinely handle together. Eventually, after countless conversations, honest questions, and plenty of reassurance, I found myself feeling something I never would have imagined on the night he first brought it up. What had initially felt shocking and completely outside my comfort zone had slowly transformed into genuine curiosity. I realized that my fears had been replaced by confidence, not only in myself, but in the strength of our marriage. We had taken the time to communicate openly, listen without judgment, and make sure we were always putting each other first. By then, I wasn't agreeing just because it was something he wanted. I had reached the point where it was something I genuinely wanted to explore with him. It had become a shared decision built on trust, honesty, and the understanding that we would only move forward if we were both completely comfortable every step of the way. Instead of feeling nervous, I felt excited to see where this new chapter could lead us. I was completely open to the idea. Now all that remained was figuring out the details, setting boundaries we both respected, deciding what we were and weren't comfortable with, and making sure that no matter what happened, our relationship would always come first. It wasn't about rushing into anything. It was about taking our time, communicating through every step, and entering this new experience together as partners.
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#6
Yesterday, 03:42 PM
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First in person date
Once we had decided that we both genuinely wanted to explore this new chapter together, we realized we had another challenge ahead of us, ACTUALLY finding someone.
Neither of us had any idea where to begin. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing you casually asked friends about, and we certainly weren't going to walk up to a stranger and start that conversation. After talking it through, we agreed that meeting people online made the most sense. The type of arrangement we were looking for was very specific, and online gave us the opportunity to be upfront about our expectations before meeting anyone in person. Before creating an account anywhere, we spent several evenings discussing what would make us both feel comfortable. One of the biggest topics was whether my husband would be present during any in-person meeting or encounter. For me, the answer was obvious. If we were going to move forward with someone neither of us knew, my husband being there wasn't just a preference, it was about safety. We talked through the pros and cons. On one hand, having him present would help me feel secure and ensure that we could communicate if either of us became uncomfortable. It also meant we were experiencing everything together rather than separately. On the other hand, we understood that not everyone would be interested in that kind of arrangement, and it would probably narrow the number of people willing to meet us. Even so, we both agreed it wasn't something we were willing to compromise on. My husband's presence throughout the experience became one of our non-negotiable boundaries. If someone wasn't comfortable with that, then they simply weren't the right match for us. We also made another important agreement before we ever met anyone: we would keep alcohol to a minimum, or avoid it altogether. We wanted every decision to be made with clear heads and sound judgment. We didn't want nerves, excitement, or alcohol influencing choices that deserved thoughtful communication and mutual respect. Once we felt confident in our boundaries, we created a profile on a social media platform and started talking with people. At first, it felt exciting. Every new message made us wonder if we had finally found someone who was genuinely interested in getting to know us. But before long, we started noticing a pattern. Several men would strike up a conversation, ask a few questions, and almost immediately ask for photos of me. We'd share a few pictures, thinking the conversation was moving in a positive direction, only to never hear from them again. Some disappeared without another word. Others simply stopped replying altogether. I won't pretend that didn't sting. I've struggled with my confidence for most of my life, so every time someone vanished after seeing my pictures, my mind immediately went to the worst possible place. I started wondering if they had lost interest because of the way I looked. I questioned whether they had ever been serious in the first place. After it happened enough times, I even found myself wondering if this whole idea had been unrealistic from the beginning. One evening, after another conversation suddenly went silent, I admitted all of those fears to my husband. He listened patiently before reminding me that online conversations don't always reflect real life. He told me not to measure my worth by people who couldn't even take the time to send a polite reply. More importantly, he reminded me that we weren't looking for just anyone, we were looking for the right person. Someone who respected both of us, appreciated honesty, and shared the same expectations. He reassured me that the problem wasn't me. Finding the right person for such a specific arrangement was always going to take time, and settling for the wrong person would only lead to regret. His reassurance meant more to me than he probably realized. It reminded me that this wasn't my search alone. It was ours. Not long afterward, we thought we had finally found someone worth meeting. We spent several days talking and getting to know him, and at first everything seemed to line up. Then, during one conversation, he casually mentioned that he'd like to photograph and/or record the experience. The suggestion caught me completely off guard. At that point, I simply wasn't comfortable with the idea. We were already stepping far outside our comfort zone, and the thought of photos being taken felt like too much, too soon. We talked about it privately and decided to trust our instincts. We politely explained that it wasn't something we were interested in, and when it became clear that it was important to him, we decided not to move forward. Looking back now, after everything we've experienced over the years, I can honestly say that the idea probably wouldn't have been nearly as intimidating. In fact, it may even have sounded exciting. But at that stage of our journey, we were still learning, still discovering our own comfort levels, and it was important to respect where we were emotionally instead of rushing ourselves. Because of this slow start, in later years, I developed more body confidence, and that helped us in the long run. Eventually, we connected with someone else who seemed respectful enough to meet in person. We agreed that a local coffee shop would be the perfect place for a first meeting. It was public, relaxed, and with no expectations beyond getting to know one another. We spent a while talking over coffee, and the conversation flowed easily enough. But as we discussed expectations in more detail, it became clear we weren't looking for the same experience. He preferred that any future meeting be between just him and me. My husband and I had already agreed that his presence throughout the entire experience was non-negotiable for safety and peace of mind. There wasn't any argument or awkwardness. We thanked him for meeting us, wished him well, and headed home. Driving away, we both came to the same conclusion. Although we hadn't found the right person, we had done exactly what we promised each other we would do, we communicated openly, respected our boundaries, and refused to compromise them just because an opportunity presented itself. Our search continued. No luck so far, but with every conversation and every meeting, we learned a little more about ourselves and became even more confident that when the right person came along, we'd know it.
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#7
Yesterday, 05:47 PM
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First ACTUAL play date
After months of conversations that never seemed to go anywhere, this one felt different.
When he first messaged me, he assumed I was single. It became obvious pretty quickly that he hadn't read our profile very carefully, so before either of us got invested, I explained everything. I told him I was happily married, that my husband knew I was talking to him, and that if we ever met, it would be something we experienced together, not something I was hiding. I expected the conversation to end right there. Instead, he thanked me for being honest. He admitted he hadn't looked that closely at our profile and asked a few respectful questions. Once he understood our situation, he simply said he was comfortable with it. That response surprised me. He was a handsome Black man named Tony with an easy smile and a calm confidence. More than anything, he made us feel comfortable. He never acted like our relationship was strange or something to judge. He didn't seem bothered that I was a short, chubby white woman, and he wasn't intimidated by the idea of my husband being present. He treated us like real people instead of a fantasy. After several days of talking, we agreed our first meeting should simply be over coffee. Our favorite coffee shop had become our unofficial meeting place, and it felt like neutral ground. We spent over an hour talking about life, work, relationships, and getting to know each other. There wasn't any pressure. It honestly felt like three people seeing whether everyone genuinely clicked. By the end of the conversation, we all agreed that if we decided to continue, we'd meet the following Friday at a hotel about an hour away. We'd drive separately so everyone had complete freedom to leave whenever they wanted. Nobody wanted anyone to feel trapped or obligated. Just knowing everyone had their own vehicle made the whole situation feel safer. My husband booked a nice suite, we found a babysitter, and suddenly this wasn't just another online conversation anymore. Friday morning arrived, and I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I dropped our child off with the babysitter and spent the day getting ready. I had my hair freshly cut and styled, treated myself to a manicure and pedicure, and when I got home, I dug through my closet until I found a lingerie set I'd been saving for a special occasion. If there was ever a day to wear it, this was it. When my husband got home from work, we made the drive together. I don't remember much about the trip because my mind was racing the entire time. Every mile made it feel a little more real. We'd agreed to meet first at the hotel bar. Originally, we'd planned not to drink, but the moment we sat down, my nerves completely got the better of me. I laughed and admitted I needed one shot just to calm the butterflies. My husband had worked all day and then driven an hour, so he decided to have one too. Tony wasn't much of a drinker, so he ordered a single beer while we settled into conversation. Looking back, that conversation was probably the most important part of the entire evening. Before anyone even thought about going upstairs, we wanted every expectation and every boundary out in the open. The first thing we discussed was privacy. All three of us agreed that nothing would ever be photographed or recorded. No pictures, no videos, no audio. We wanted to be fully present without worrying about anything living forever on someone's phone. He agreed immediately and never questioned it. Then we talked about consent. We all understood that agreeing to meet didn't mean anyone was obligated to do anything. At any point, for any reason, any one of us could decide we weren't comfortable anymore and walk away. There wouldn't be hurt feelings or pressure to continue. Knowing that gave me an incredible sense of security because it reminded me that we were choosing this together every step of the way. We also talked about pace. None of us wanted the evening to feel rushed or choreographed. We agreed we'd simply let things happen naturally, if they happened at all. There wasn't a script to follow or a checklist to complete. We wanted conversation, comfort, and chemistry to guide the evening rather than expectations. When the conversation turned to personal boundaries, I was completely honest. I explained that there were some things I was comfortable with exploring and others that I wasn't interested in. I was open about what I felt comfortable with, including that oral sex was within my comfort zone, while anal sex wasn't something I wanted to do. He accepted those boundaries without hesitation or debate, which made me feel respected. We also discussed my husband's role. From the very beginning, we'd agreed he wouldn't be physically involved. He would stay in the room because experiencing this together was important to both of us, but his role was simply to be present and supportive. That arrangement was what made both of us feel comfortable, and our guest respected it completely. We even talked about protection. At the time, I was taking birth control, and because of that, none of us felt condoms were necessary. Looking back years later, we were young and probably should have been more cautious. At the time, though, I trusted that the pill was enough, and it honestly didn't concern me the way it probably should have. One last thing I shared was something that had always been true about my personality. I'm not someone who likes to direct every moment. If I'm comfortable and I trust the person I'm with, I generally prefer for the man to take the lead while I simply relax into the experience. That didn't mean giving up my voice or my ability to say no. Quite the opposite. We had already agreed that I could slow things down or stop everything at any moment, and so could either of them. Knowing those safeguards were in place made it much easier for me to let go of some of my anxiety. By the time we'd finished talking, something inside me had shifted. The fear that had followed me through months of unanswered messages and second-guessing myself had quietly disappeared. It had been replaced by trust. As we stood up from the bar and walked toward the elevator, I reached over and squeezed my husband's hand. After months of wondering if we'd ever find someone who respected us, our marriage, and the boundaries we'd worked so hard to establish, it finally felt like we had. The elevator doors closed, and with my husband on one side of me, and Tony on the other, we quietly closed one chapter of our lives and opened up a new one. We rode the elevator to the top floor exchanging small talk, but I don't think any of us were really paying attention to the conversation. We were all smiling, all a little nervous, and all wondering what the rest of the evening would bring. When we stepped into the suite, the atmosphere immediately felt relaxed. My husband had picked a room with a separate sitting area, giving it more of a comfortable apartment feel than a standard hotel room. Tony and I sat down at the small table while my husband settled into the recliner across from us. Someone grabbed the deck of cards we'd brought along, and before long we were laughing over a few simple card games. It turned out to be exactly what we needed. The cards gave us something to do besides stare at each other. The conversation drifted everywhere, our jobs, where we'd grown up, funny dating stories, music we liked, and travel. My husband and Tony discovered they had more in common than either of them expected. They joked back and forth like they'd known each other much longer than a few hours, and seeing that friendship begin to form helped ease my remaining nerves. That hour or so was probably one of the smartest decisions we made all evening. Instead of rushing into anything, we gave ourselves time to become comfortable together. Every laugh made the room feel a little less intimidating. Every story reminded me that Tony wasn't just someone we'd met online, he was a genuine person, and so were we. Eventually there was a natural lull in the conversation. I smiled and excused myself for a few minutes to change into my lingerie set that I had brought along. Standing alone in the bathroom, I caught my reflection in the mirror. My heart was pounding just as hard as it had been earlier that day. I took a deep breath, reminded myself that nothing had to happen unless everyone still felt comfortable, and that any one of us could change our mind at any point. That thought gave me confidence. When I walked back into the room, both of them looked up. I could feel my cheeks getting warm, but their smiles immediately put me at ease. Rather than making a big moment out of it, I quietly walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. There was a brief silence. My husband smiled toward Tony and, in his calm, reassuring way, simply nodded in my direction. Tony looked at me for a moment, silently checking that I was comfortable. I smiled back and gave a small nod of my own. He walked over and sat beside me. The first kiss was gentle and unhurried. My husband sat forward in the recliner and watched the events unfold while simultaneously staying quiet as if to not disturb us. The slow and gentle kiss turned into lightly nibbling and making out. Pretty soon I felt my hand wander off toward Tony's pants. We let things happen very naturally. I unbuttoned his pants and reached my hand inside. What I felt was not something I was used to. I had only had one boyfriend prior to my husband and I was rather nervous that I would be able to perform for such a well endowed man. Eventually, he slides his pants and boxers off, and pulls his shirt off, exposing a dark, slightly muscular body. He started stroking himself and before I continue, I look over at my husband where he is grinning as if telling me to continue. I slide off the bottoms to my lingerie set and spread my legs slightly. I grab hold of his hand and press it on my inner thigh. He gently caresses around before entering me with his finger, every moment, making me more excited than the last. I glance over at my husband again and he shakes his head yes in approval. Over the course of the next few minutes he gets me to climax several times, despite the nervousness of me up until this point. "Are you ok with a blow job?" Asked Tony. Immediately thoughts began to race. I had never given a guy who was this big head before, but I guess I'm a little bit of a people pleaser, so I give it a try. I spread his legs slightly and position myself in between them while letting the saliva build in my mouth. I grab ahold of it and wrap my lips around it the best I can and slowly bounce up and down. I keep a close eye on his reaction. He leans back slightly and lets out a moan of pleasure like he is enjoying himself. Glancing over at my husband again, he shouts out "Keep focused on Tony, I think he's enjoying it!" This goes on for a few minutes until Tony stands up and directs me to lay on my back on the edge of the bed. Then he walked over to my husband. "Are you sure you are ok with this?" Tony asked. "Absolutely" replied my husband. Tony asked another question, "Where do you want me to finish?" "Anywhere is fine by me, Ry is on birth control, just make sure she is fine with it." Replied my husband. Tony came over and stood between my legs and I put them up and rested them on his chest. He looked me in the eyes and asked me if he could finish in me. The communication and openness this far made me want him even more. Tony was a very respectful man that had made me feel wanted and desired. "Yes, you can if you want" I replied. He then proceeded to push it inside me. I had never felt one this large in me before. He slowly pushed it all the way in and asked me how it felt. I told him it felt good and just to start slow. He got a rhythm down and continued to thrust in me slowly but deeply. This went on for about 10 minutes until the pace started picking up. "Are you sure you are fine with me finishing in you?" "Oh yes, give it to me!" I excitedly replied. Within 30 seconds of my last response, he pushed it in one last stroke, as deep as it would go, and released his load inside of me. He held it for a second, then slowly backed out. Then I immediately feel it running out of me. This was definitely a big one. Pretty much immediately he got quiet and went and took a shower. While he was in the shower my husband came over with some paper towels and helped me clean up. We spent the rest of the evening just talking and hanging out. We had gotten pretty close with Tony and genuinely adored his company. Tony and I eventually drifted off to sleep in the bed while my husband stretched out on the couch in the sitting area. It wasn't something we'd planned, it just happened naturally. After everything we'd built up in our minds over the previous moments in this journey, the ending to the evening felt surprisingly peaceful. The next morning, sunlight shined through the curtains, and I slowly realized where I was. For a second, it almost felt like waking up from a dream. Then I looked around the room and smiled. There we were, three people who previously had been complete strangers sitting in a coffee shop, wondering if this was all a terrible idea. Instead, we'd spent an evening together, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. As everyone started waking up, the mood was surprisingly light. There wasn't any awkward silence or uncertainty about what to say. We joked about who had snored the loudest, teased each other about the card games from the night before, and laughed about how nervous we'd all admitted to being. After getting dressed and packing our bags, we headed downstairs together for breakfast before checking out. Sitting around the table with coffee and breakfast felt oddly... normal. If someone had walked by, they probably would have assumed we were simply three friends grabbing breakfast before heading home. We talked about our families, future travel plans, work, and the restaurants we still wanted to try. The conversation was easy, relaxed, and comfortable in a way I never would have expected. What stood out to me most was that there wasn't any pressure about what came next. No one expected promises. No one tried to define anything. Instead, we all agreed on one simple thing, we'd had a great time together, and if life lined up again, we'd love to do it again. When it was finally time to leave, we walked out to the parking lot together. There were hugs, smiles, and the familiar exchange of, "Drive safe." Before getting into his car, Tony grinned and said, "We'll have to do this again sometime." My husband laughed and replied, "I think we can probably arrange that." I couldn't help but smile. As we watched him pull out of the parking lot, I looked over at my husband. Neither of us said much for the first few minutes of the drive home. We didn't really need to. We both just felt satisfied. And that's our first time actually arranging a meetup. The lifestyle just took off from there!
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#8
Today, 10:42 AM
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Thanks for sharing your experiences
Sounds very similar to our journey in many ways, what a great account of your exploration in evolution! When sharing our experiences in some OCC posts, I left out many details of our investment of time, conversations of trust, and how many times our efforts resulted in things we or they did not want to pursue. Thinking back of our investment of resources and time - there are no regrets here, I'd do it all over again in a second. Your shared experiences herein have brought back memories of the thrill of the chase. Thanks so much!
We did it in our 40's with 20 years together as a starting point. I admire how this came to be for you at an age where emotionally we could not have pulled it off.
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#9
Today, 06:20 PM
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Thank you!
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I take that as a compliment! I think for a couple folks in their early 20s, we were fairly mature and we pulled it off successfully. I'm not saying that jealousy hasn't appeared, but if your relationship is built on open communication, that is something that you can talk and work through. Having a protocol where either party can say they have had enough is extremely important as well. The initial phase was absolutely my husband's idea, but he never made me feel coerced into doing something I didn't want to do. It takes a lot of mutual respect. I agree about doing it all over again. That is why we still continue to do it. One day we might start to age, and the desire will fade, but right now, it's just as exciting as it was on day one! Once again, I appreciate the kind words and thank you for dropping by with a reply!
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