X FILES REOPENED

[Fox Mulder]

Banished by The Smoking Mod, Scully and I have been doing our own thing for the last year or so. But now it seems "The FBI's Most Unwanted" are free to resume posting our paranormal pornographic findings in the forums of OCC. This thread is going to be a catch all collage thread. There will be a lot of Before and After type stuff and whatever else we deem worthy. We prefer that you do not add photos to this thread. Please just enjoy. I want to believe...

[Fox Mulder]

While away, I've been very busy...playing garbage can basketball, sharpening pencils and flipping them into acoustic ceiling tiles and making porn collages. Here's a few I hope you enjoy.

[Fox Mulder]

The best X Files episodes were of the "monster of the week" variety. Thinking of the 80s term "Hose Monster" at least two of these ladies know what to do with a hose. "Chupa" (sucking) is their obvious specialty. That doesn't make them monsters...perhaps monstrously popular...but not monsters. The softcore cyclist lady is no "fluke." She's a type you'll see plenty of in my threads: A no make up face and a body fit as hell. All three ladies, I hope, you'll find wank worthy.

[Fox Mulder]

Scully and I have been investigating the rules of attraction. We've concluded that there are none. It would be easier to run into Sasquatch in a city park than find universal agreement on who is beautiful, who's arrousing and who is not. Furthermore, our probing flashlight beams illuminate the fact that porn is one of the few fair things in life. Think about it. Everyone is included. Look around OCC...there are threads based on body shape, race, age, activites, employment, facial expression...and before I drone on endlessly like Bubba Gump about shrimp women...please get my point. In porn, female or male, there's always someone who likes what you've got. There are no outcasts, because porn is private. Our urge to run with the herd is put on hold as we indulge our personal desires and fetishes without shame. It's easier for people to get what they want or need in a forum like OCC. Some may wander their whole lives without ever finding the woman of their fantasies. Here, you just click "search." So here's this woman missing part of her right arm. Would I notice her if she wasn' t missing part of an arm? I would. She has a sweet smile and a nice body. It took a bit of self confidence to pose. Confidence and enthusiasm are sexy. With or without the missing part, I like her. Does the arm detract from her beauty for you? I know it does for someone...yeah, that guy there... move along, buddy. There are probably a few guys more put off that she has pubic hair, while some are excited that she's natural. There are also some that feel her arm is actually a big plus. She is unique and unique can be very attractive. Unique can give you super powers, if the right person is looking. Come on...ladies and a few of you guys... I know you're looking at that very phallic-looking appendage..and imagining what you'd like her to do to you with it. Attraction. No rules. Case closed. It was a frustrating investigation. For a while, Scully and I were really stum...uh... let's just say... confounded.

[dognheat]

“I want to remember how it was. I want to remember how it all was.”


— Dana Scully, The X-Files, Season 11: The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat

Incredible! Welcome back!

[Fox Mulder]

Scully and I are baffled and more than a little bit frightened by what we're calling "Stupid Face Phenomena." We first encountered it at comic conventions and other events where cosplay is common. However, it's spreading rapidly in the amateur porn community - particularly amongst young women. It manifests itself with cross eyes or rolled eyes, a lolling tongue and often drool. To Scully and I, it's not sexy. In fact, we both agree that it looks...well...stupid. Scully has been performing autopsies and seems to think it could be a physical reaction to the colored hair dyes, wigs, heavy eye makeup and other tools of the cosplay trade. I think it could be alien implants. A third theory is that the affected generation has no concept of what sexy is. Might their stupid expressions merely be inexperience -an ill advised attempt to look like they're so horny they've lost their minds? We're also just beginning to explore the possible influences of Japanese animated fantasy culture. As the investigation continues, we will explore these theories while remaining, as always, open to other possibilities. Below you'll find collected photographs of the phenomena. Be sure to click on the last two images. They're gifs, allowing you to observe, in action, two disturbing examples. Caution Wankers: A limp dick may result.

[allthatjazz]

Originally Posted by Fox Mulder

Scully and I are baffled and more than a little bit frightened by what we're calling "Stupid Face Phenomena." We first encountered it at comic conventions and other events where cosplay is common. However, it's spreading rapidly in the amateur porn community - particularly amongst young women. It manifests itself with cross eyes or rolled eyes, a lolling tongue and often drool. To Scully and I, it's not sexy. In fact, we both agree that it looks...well...stupid. Scully has been performing autopsies and seems to think it could be a physical reaction to the colored hair dyes, wigs, heavy eye makeup and other tools of the cosplay trade. I think it could be alien implants. A third theory is that the affected generation has no concept of what sexy is. Might their stupid expressions merely be inexperience -an ill advised attempt to look like they're so horny they've lost their minds? We're also just beginning to explore the possible influences of Japanese animated fantasy culture. As the investigation continues, we will explore these theories while remaining, as always, open to other possibilities. Below you'll find collected photographs of the phenomena. Be sure to click on the last two images. They're gifs, allowing you to observe, in action, two disturbing examples. Caution Wankers: A limp dick may result.

Oh, the humanity!

[Fox Mulder]

Did you know Dana Scully is a redhead, but the actor who played her, Gillian Anderson, is a very lovely natural blond? If a brunette dyes her hair red, it's easier to see it's not her natural color...but a light skinned blond, especially one with freckles, can fool you. But who cares? Here are some naked women to look at.

[thegit]

Originally Posted by Fox Mulder

Did you know Dana Scully is a redhead, but the actor who played her, Gillian Anderson, is a very lovely natural blond? If a brunette dyes her hair red, it's easier to see it's not her natural color...but a light skinned blond, especially one with freckles, can fool you. But who cares? Here are some naked women to look at.

You have been sorely missed on the OCC site Fox. I am glad to be able to send you a greeting because I thought you were gone forever!
thegit

[Fox Mulder]

The holidays are kinda slow at the FBI. That's not the case with The X Files. While Scully is off with family, I continue pouring over files from old cases that were never solved. Yes, pretty much ALL of them were never solved, so I have plenty to do. In fact, I'm so busy I've hired an intern to help me. She helps me in many ways. Sometimes she helps in ways I could never explain to Scully. However, as you can see, she's not afraid to work on her knees.