Rock Bottom

[msmyrtle]

I hope you will forgive me if I steer "off topic", particularly for the tone of the content, but I have something that has been weighing on me. About a month and a half ago a very old friend took his life, and today we were finally able to have something of a memorial service for him. He and I were not close friends, but we grew up together, kindergarten through senior year. We lost touch for a while, but started having lunches on occasion (not very many) about a year ago. Ben was the man! He was the man in elementary school, in high school, in college, and even still years after college. Star football player in high school, great student, and, unlike the jock stereotype, he was kind to everyone. Even when we had our lunches, he was still the guy that you wish you were.

I don't know any specifics, but I think he made a mistake somewhere along the way. His wife left with the kids, that much I do know. Then the pandemic hit and I guess he hit his rock bottom. The one thing that was repeated over and over today was, "he was the last person I ever thought would take such a drastic measure". He was the last person I thought would ever take such a drastic measure,when you say those words you also say, "what could I have done to help him", "why did I not see the signs".

I am not looking for sympathy or trying to get attention here. My point is this. There are a lot of people (I assume) that come to these boards, and everyone of us is as unique as a snowflake. If you are struggling, if you feel alone, or like you have hit rock bottom, and you have considered taking your life, please do not do that! Please do not! There are more people who love you and value than you can imagine! If it is something you are considering, please talk to someone. Those who do as my friend, they are not solving problems, but passing those problems on to those they love, to the people that would gladly walk the dark roads with a friend to help them to the light. If you are in a bad place in life, please know that you are not alone. Most of us find ourselves in these low points, I am there myself. There is always hope. The sun will always rise.

Likewise, if you have someone close who is at a low point in life, talk to them or text them. Tell them that you love them. If they are close enough, tell them your phone is on 24/7, whenever they need you. Life if beautiful, but it is extremely tumultuous. And this year has been a hurricane. And you know, it is worth it to have a potentially uncomfortable conversation with someone, even if they could be offended, if it could prevent the nagging question in the back of your mind, "what could I have done."

Ok, that's my soapbox. Thank you for indulging me. Chin up!

[nectcouple]

Thanks for the reminder and very sorry for the loss of your friend.

[chuckfinly]

Originally Posted by nectcouple

Thanks for the reminder and very sorry for the loss of your friend.

Ditto... I have lost a few friends or family members of close friends to suicide and have seen the effect on those left behind. I have also responded to several suicides as a firefighter and seen the aftermath. The last one I responded to, a guy put a 12ga shotgun under his jaw and blew the front of his face off. He had no mouth left, no nose, and it shredded his eyes but he survived. There was not enough bleeding to bleed our and it angled forward enough so that nothing entered the brain. That visual will forever be seared into my mind. I would be lying if I said I have never been in a low spot where the temptation has been there but no matter how impossible things seem they will get better if you seek help.