I love you, funny face!

[chuckles2006]

couple

[Fox Mulder]

1. I don't know who this guy is, but he's living the good life...and from the look on his face, he knows and appreciates it.
2. A scene from M. Night Shamalamadingdong's sequel to "The Happening..." "The Pantsing." Thankfully no Mark Wahlberg.
3. Mark Wahlberg's biggest fan obviously doesn't appreciate that last comment.
4. Uh...the heart isn't located beneath the clavicle you stupid git!
5. This thread offers a lot of Women vs Cows photos. In a matter of speaking I have eaten both.
6. I don't know who this guy is, but he's living the good life...and from the look on his face, he knows and appreciates it.
7. This statue's proportions proportionately represents the priority in most men's lives.
8. Her boyfriend misunderstood the title of her favorite Rolling Stones song...it's "Shattered" NOT "Splattered."
9. Fuck you! (She's apparently pissed)
10. DOUBLE Fuck you... from a chipmunk.

[Fox Mulder]

1.On a scout mission in advance of their fleet of Star Battle Cruisers, Captain Athena and Sergeant Sela of the Venusian army were about to order the obliteration of the Earth...but they decided that our flowers were kinda pretty. The Earth is safe...for now.
2. As the coastguard approached, despite spending weeks lost at sea , there was very little enthusiasm to get rescued. Blame it on beer.
3. Angie could take her Johnny Depp/ Captain Sparrow fetish a little too far sometimes.
4. Poor girl on the bench...she thinks we were taking a picture of HER.
5. Dave told his friends that all he wanted for Christmas was a sandwich. He meant ham and cheese.
6. Kathy decided to give her obnoxious housemate a very special surprise Christmas gift...
7. Spend Christmas fishing in Florida...you might catch a big one!
8. Ever wake up in the morning with a peculiar taste in your mouth?
9. "Hello 911? Can you send an ambulance? I have a tiny reindeer...uh... stuck up my ass..."
10. Merry Christmas to all you goofy wankers here at OCC!

[pbturks]

And Merry Christmas to you too Fox. Your posts are a highlight of the Forum.

[Fox Mulder]

1. I'm not surprised. She was a breech baby.
2. A scene from one of Vlad's wet dreams.
3. Sun bathing in San Francisco is a little different.
4. She was hoping to pose for my Tree Huggers thread...then something went terribly wrong.
5. No sex for you! (The Clit Nazi)
6. The other OTHER white meat.
7. Marla was a great hostess for holiday parties. She always strove to please all of her guests.
8. "Don't you dis my boyfriend Kim! So what if he always looks like he has indigestion? He's good to me!
9. The new ACME silicone breast implants are being recalled after the discovery that they explode when you jog on the beach.
10. 50 Shades Of "He's never gonna fuckin' tie me up ever again!"

[Fox Mulder]

1. Those sad facial expressions...and sadder still, she's pretendeing the centerfold is about to go down on her...are you laughing yet?
2. "Help! My back isn't strong enough to haul these suckers back up!"
3. The new Subaru Doggystyle Wagon features lots of room, a nice hatchback...and her. Yeah, they can pretty much charge anything they want for this car. The people will cum, Ray. The people will cum.
4. Never kiss your girlfriend when your lips smell like another woman's pussy.
5. "Has anyone seen my evil twin?
6. "There she is!" (And soon people will die)
7. Hurry up and pee! The evil twin is coming! (Nice teeth)

[wildfire54]

Week days aren't the only time that interesting things happen.

1.While he didn't approve of The Naked Car wash idea.Pastor Jones couldn't argue that the Stoner sisters made a lot of money for his church.

2.On the other side of town.Mrs. Bishop's nude yoga class drew a lot of people.Mostly men.

3.While a short distance away.The wives of those men did their own workout.

4.And Mi Ling's melon farm was as successful as ever...

[Fox Mulder]

1. Who could blame Hans for being happy? His genie granted his wish to be the last man on earth and make nudity manditory for women.
2. As you can see, Karen's resolution to quit drinking, smoking and taking long baths lasted less than 24 hours.
3. You see what this is, don't you? (It's a stick...up.)
4. There's a new group of aliens visiting the planet.. They have superior technology, but there's no need to fear an invasion. Judging from their oddly shaped heads and faces, they're just a bunch of pussies.
5. Erotic photogrqphy isn't as easy as it looks.
6.We've heard Trump's views on immigration. His solution for mental illness is even harsher.
7. They're inexperienced, but the desire is there. If they work together they'll get this whole lesbian sex thing figured out.
8. "What a great picture of a hot little ass!" you think. You aim the camera and...ohh shit...that's her old man!
9. The "I Love You Funny Face" Witless protection program.
10. The NRA hasn't officially endorsed this collage....but one day they will. Oh yes, one day they will.

[Fox Mulder]

1. Rebecca's feeling horny after a long day of work...but her dldo won't vibrate.
2. "How typical!" She snorts "One more disappointment in a disappointing day!"
3. "Hmmmm...I wonder what's wrong with this damned thing?"
4. "No Batteries! I just remembered I used them in something else. I'll bet I 've got some more!"
5. She puts new batteries in...anticipating hours of joyful self abuse.
6. No luck! She decides to try something she used to do when she was a biker chick...
7. "If I can suck start a Harley, a little dildo should be easy!"
8. Bzzzzzzzzzzz. "Ugh, mmmm...grff...aaaahhh." SUCK-CESS!

[Fox Mulder]

1. Hey man...the groovy Flower Children of the 60s never had any bread...so naturally their offspring became Flour Children.
2. Old Ben had a very nice life insurance policy his greedy wife kept trying to collect...but his weak heart was stronger than her ambition.
3. I found the tourist information lady to be extremely helpful in seeing that I had a good time in her little town.
4. With fanciful thoughts of being Fox Mulder, Juan got his flashlight and went searching for the truth. (It's in there)
5. This is my new girlfriend, Sandy.
6. "Once I was a famous actress...the toast of Hollywood! Now I sell my used panties on Craig's List. " (A drama queen's lament)
7. With the breakup of the Soviet Union, things got a lot looser (and wetter) in Moscow.
8. Harriet pretends she's lost and vulnerable in the sands of Tatooine, about to be ravaged by horny sand people. (You just can't take Star Wars fans anywhere! )
9. Dr Scholls was known to enjoy some very kinky evenings away from work.
10. You have some nasty fantasies about what you'd like to do to this round little ass...The ass owner has got an opinion of them. And you.