I love you, funny face!

[Fox Mulder]

1. Most people like to start their day with coffee...It's healthier to bend your lover over the kitchen counter and lick her until she screams.
2. Odds are this is not mentioned in the "Product Usage" paragraph on the label.
3. I really appreaciate art like this. I don't mean what SHE'S looking at.
4. If you feel froggy...leap!
5. I've heard it's bad luck to see your bride before the wedding. If you keep your eyes closed is it OK to ass fuck her up against the outside wall of the church?
6. "Well...I'd love to donate to you're charity but you've kinda caught me with my pants down..."
7. "...and for my next trick I will drown this small dog!" (Liz had a dark way about her)
8. With the advent of the Internet, librarians everywhere are trying creative means to generate more interest in books.
9. Jenny even turns toothbrushing into an erotic experience.
10. Meanwhile, behind closed doors at the convent...

[wildfire54]

Definitely not a day of rest.

1.Morningwood Farm Equipment only sold tractors.But they sold a lot of tractors.

2.'I think we can say without hesitation that the super male enhancement pill our company developed really works.And as soon as the rest of the research team wakes up I'll tell them.... Opps..Here comes our test subject again,Honey.Got to go,bye.'

3.'Don't read anything into it,Sweetheart.It's only the fourth time my Supervisor allowed me to crash on his bed....uhhh couch this week.'

4.Dr. Taylor had impeccable credentials in her field of study. Unfortunately two large obstacles kept her from being taken seriously.

5.Not only did Becky get off using the cucumber.She had the satisfaction of adding it to her b*tchy mother in laws salad later that evening.

[Fox Mulder]

1. "Men? We don't need no stinkin' men!"
2. Support our troops...about a 34B cup ought to do.
3. The sad part is he's probably dreaming about half naked women. Life moves pretty fast...you need to stay alert.
4. Sit on my balls and tell me that you love me.
5. Becky was willing to give the robbers anything they wanted...that's why she took off her clothes when she heard them breaking in.
6. The definition of "Broad Daylight" is when you get awakened by some broad...anxious to get her tongue up the crack of Dawn.
7. The local swingers club is far too literal.
8. They say twins are very in sync...
9. Sure...they like to pretend...but offer them the real thing and they run away screaming!" -or so says Mike the Janitor at the college.
10. Alcohol juuuuust might be a factor here...anyone else think so?

[JanniR]

Originally Posted by wildfire54

More unusual events.

http://www.oneclickchicks.com/th/3/2.../7/7686604.jpg

I'd love to know the story behind this. Is there any more?

[Fox Mulder]

1." I weesh to welcome one and all to this wretched hive of humor." ( Moohoohoohoohaha!)
2. The Blue Lez Group during a rocky performance.
3. Some people just walk around with a chip on their shoulder, while others...
4. ...find ways to suck it up and get on with life.
5. Scott licked his lips anticipating the first article of clothing to be removed in the friendly little card game.
6. Vito longed for the days when he could do more than just look.
7. Herring flavored dildos weren't a big hit with everyone in Norway.
8. Betty does her best Karl Malden impression.
9. Waiting to surprise her husband by hiding naked in his car...Kim was the one who would be surprised. It wasn't his car.
10. The waiting list for Wilt Chamberlain's paternity suits.

[Fox Mulder]

1. "OK...so I'm a slob...but if this is so repulsive...why do you have an erection right now?"
2. Is this why people say: "I gotta go to The Head?"
3. Yes, she was frightened of the ghost...but it could eat pussy much better than her boyfriend so she kept cumming back.
4. I didn't do the photoshop job on the kid in the background...but my first thought is that he's Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip.
5. Ever have a dream like this?
6. "Hmmm...my husband won't buy me fishnet stockings...but maybe I can make some. "
7. "Judging from the tracks, I say the men who stole our clothes passed this way about an hour ago."
8. "Ja, ve at Volkswagon haf had zum bad press lately about ze emmisions...but please just look at ze model's arse...und forget."
9. Cock bag.
10. This needs to be a new wedding tradition: Everyone gets to finger the bride.

[Fox Mulder]

1. This looks to me like a scene from the next "Terminator" movie. (The red eye...the teeth...Cyborg sex?)
2. You see who this is...and no, I don't know if I'm the father...but I want to believe.
3. Somehow the initial suspicion that his wife was cheating didn't hurt as much as the day Joe found out who the other guy actually was.
4. No means no, Hairy.
5. Moving on to the next lover...Joe thought he had given her a thoughtful first Christmas gift.
6. Multi-tasker? (Just an amusing photo)
7. Which spreader turns you on the most? I know some of you prefer the hairy one...come on...admit it.
8. Paola is a liberated woman. Her reading choice proves it.
9. On to the next lover...oh man...of all the nights for Joe to come home early! (Not a good month for Joe)
10. Why can't we buy human milk at the grocery store? We're humans...why do we drink the milk of another species? Just saying...

[Fox Mulder]

1. I love Indian women...they are sooooo stacked!
2. Can you think of a good wisecrack about Whitecracks?
3. Instead of bar codes and lasers... librarians are experimenting with this new book checkout system.
4. "Whoa...this thread makes me kinda dizzy!"
5. "OK...we've run out of gas in the middle of nowhere and none of us have any clothes...this is the last time Megan gets to plan Girls Night Out!"
6. Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance. Heidi loves the sound of trains a LOT closer.
7. More than just the wind blows in the desert.
8. The windows don't get all that clean but I just can't bring myself to fire my housekeeper.
9. Crazy Christy will pull her hair out by the roots if you don't have a good wank over this picture...please help!
10. Wisconsin girl at Key West in January? Or a Christian flashing God?

[wildfire54]

Everyone's favorite town.

1.Serena was so happy about her breast enhancements,she just loved showing them to anyone.Except The Chief of Police didn't appreciate them as much.

2.Harriet's reasoning for clothes shopping naked was simple. 'She simply didn't have a thing to wear.'

3.From a political point of view.Monica always straddled the fence.

4.When Rhonda's male friends heard she liked playing nude hide & seek. They always indulged her fantasy.

[Fox Mulder]

1. Little Big Man
2. After a dip...try flapping yourself dry.
3. I'll bet you're sorry you didn't get an art degree. Wow. Some guys get all the luck!
4.You know how dogs always give you enthusiastic greetings when you come home? Becky decided to return the favor.
5.This cure for Nancy's penis envy is only temporary.
6. Another lucky dog has his day.
7. Vera has certainly chosen a novel way to douche.
8. Kira prefers cats...maybe a little too much.
9. If you are a health care worker and you saw " The Godfather" you are probably getting the defibrillator about now.
10. Cute little chipmunk face...