Sharing of the wife - Challenges

[clitty]

I didn't call her that night. That's on me. And I had found his number later in the morning.

If she's asleep, it won't wake her. I send her text messages of things to do, photos while she is sleeping in the same room with her phone three feet from her head.

She made the statement of not going out with him anymore, before I brought it up... We'll see. I'll need to talk to him personally thou. Because she wants to be ridden on his motorcycle and I told him *NO* or else... he told her in front of me, that he'd going to have to go with my rule.

Motorcycles are great and fun to ride, beautiful machines, etc. But when they are involved in an accident with a car or worse, a truck - you can bet the people in the 4-wheelers are not going to the hospital or morgue.

[clitty]

Pretty much a one finger hole, sometimes two...
(I'm not small, but not huge either) This was taken about 8 months ago. So when you see a woman with a ring on that finger, it could be her...

[clitty]

About her pussy pics: She rarely shaves... her hair grows very slowly and not thick... so she's doesn't get razor burns, unless she actually shaves herself bald, which she has done 3~4 times since we first meet.

I've got plans to make some photos specifically to share here...

The 2nd thing: This is a question to those who are open relationship / swing / wife sharing. Did you have speed bumps when you started doing similar kinky stuff? If you caught her having sex with another man, that she had lied about, but yet you are aware they have had sex before (maybe even in front of you), what would you do? Why I ask (A) interested in your experience or thoughts (B) My wife has been to this friend home a few times, in which I expected them to fuck, yet she tells me they did not... even thou I said at least one time "fuck, have a good time".

I told her I'm going to have a phone conversation with him, and that we need to have a IN-PERSON talk of all of us to clear the air. But I'll do a 1 on 1 phone conversation (she knows I'm going to call, since I am upfront) and tell him I have rules and expected them to be followed. No more sleep overs. Any lying or fucking behind my back = "no more sticking your penis in her pussy". And yes, I will ask him "did you fuck her last time?" as I will hold him to his response and if I find out otherwise... well, it won't be cool. If this happened, is it because they are hiding something or afraid that I'll be jealous? I don't like be lied too about anything.

If you have seen my other post (with pics), we've been to a swinger party and going to kinky&swinger one this weekend. I was able to take a few pics and videos of her being serviced by 3 guys, all total she had 5 different cocks in her that night. I got off on it, and she enjoyed it. So this weekend, I expect her to have fun with at least 2-3 guys and 1-2 women.

[ModelT-MsDollie]

clitty good luck and thanks for keeping us informed even though much is depressing.
As for my wife and I we still only fool around with others while together.
We have been trying something totally different and I was actually in the next room when my wife got fucked by two old men. We have been attending a glory hole club. I guess they are rare so I'm not telling where.
The sex for her has been amazing. In fact the first time she overdid it trying to satisfy way too many men.
We stopped visiting her fuck buddies prefering this new way. This too will soon end. We are too old for this but experimenting before we move away from it all.
Good luck to you and everyone here with unusual lifestyles. I do know that many are into forms of bondage and agree whatever they do is their choice. Without different people playing different games life would get boring.........
Well not for us, it seems.
Love those great pussy pictures. Makes even an old man hungry and hard!

[clitty]

Well, we've had some serious talking... I think we are clearer than ever before, went over some issued we were both not aware of. I asked the guy some questions and he didn't bull shit... but she was creating the problem by being worried that I had a problem - so which meant made me uncertain as to what is going on - basically a feed-loop of distrust.

We're also good that our marriage is above anyone else too. We're still doing kinky things / party and such.

[clitty]

On this particular thread of mine, I'm giving an update. As things kind of went so shit after the "sex in car" adventure. I won't go into huge details, for privacy and boredom reasons.

Situation involved the friend again, who I will simply call "John"...
Due to some minor health issues on both my wife and I, it has us down. I have stress out the ass with work, bills, family life, the usual crap that people call "life". This is effecting my libido too. She has her own stress with work a well.

I pick up some oddities with my wife concerning John. And I check our online phone records and find out that whats NOT on her phone shows up on the logs. Some of this is about her staying at his place overnight to help out with a project (which I know is real) and sex. I feel they are playing me.

I had to balance out "letting it go" or getting to the bottom of it. I don't want to spend months or years wondering whats going on or did go on.

I put her on the spot, about missing text messages. What didn't help was that I had her phone in my hand, and I saw some texts from john about "talking to me" She responded that I was there and handed it back to me. As we continue talking, he sends a text to "delete messages!!" which I had already seen moments before. Uh Oh.
Mind you, the content he was telling her to delete was not bothering me much, it was his action.

She stands her ground that it has nothing to do with me. John tells me nothing happened as well through text. Our relationship starts going bad quickly. She tells me a bit what those missing texts were about. As it gets worse with her in tears, she finally tells him to screen shot and send whats missing. This is in front of me, while I watch and wait.

Two screen shots are sent, filling in the missing gaps on her phone which still has my conversation.
What John sent matched what she said, and then some... plus both of their concerns with my health as well as small part of a conversation which wasn't my business. Which I told them both that I would have felt the same way. And they didn't mean for me to take something the wrong way. I fucked up on my end, but they could have handled some things better on theirs which would not have led me down this path.

I still personally apologized to both in person, even without a 2nd thought took her to John’s home help him on his project over night. I didn’t have any worries.

They decide to no longer have a friendship + sexual fun relationship. Just friends.

As the weeks go by, wife is getting colder as do I. We talked a little bit, with her saying things will get better. But this past Wednesday, we were having a good time at a bar. A couple of friends show up, a couple of roommates who live in an apartment a mile from our home. They used to work at the same company my wife works. So we all play darts, drink some more ~ having a good time. She’s horny and wants me to fuck her brains out tonight. But 20 minutes later she erupted on my ass! About me making her choose us over her friend of many years before we ever meet.

Breaking up with me, taking the baby. I had hurt her, for not trusting her. She ripped into me. We're over.
This was a shock as I've been trying to repair the damage I caused the week before. Make up for my mistakes, but she has been holding in her anger all this time.

She tells me to go home, as she will not leave the bar with me. I tell the buddies (one of them has a live in girlfriend) that she is wasted, to let her sleep it off at their place since the bar is closing in an hour and don’t want to make a bigger scene.

The next morning, she doesn’t come home. But got a ride to work. She tells me to leave her alone. I’m heart broken. I fucked up with the love of my life. My sexy wife who I think about every day.

There are always challenges when it comes to swapping, open relationships, etc. She used to be jealous early on and it flipped to my side for different reasons. Communication and honesty is so important for all those involved. This is part 1 of 3. Part 2 was the weekend, Part 3 is unknown.

Preview of part 2: I went to her work to try and talk to her before other workers and customers show up. She is short with me and I leave. As I leave, I notice a reddish mark on her neck.

[nectcouple]

Clitty, I feel seriously sorry for you. I hope it all works out. You are correct, though. It is all about honesty. If both of you are not included, its cheating...not hotwifing.

[clitty]

Thanks Netcouple, but IMO - this is was trial with some big errors. For others here who do are in open relationship/swinging, etc life-styles. I'm betting that they too have had problems here and there, especially in the beginning. Swinging seems to enter lots of couple's lives as they get older and have been together to have a strong bond.

This isn't part two, because I've been busy with work and the wife and I have been doing a lot of talking and other things to repair the damage. We are both aware that a break down in communication was a major factor.

Part Two is still ongoing for me to type it out (even had a face-to-face talk with the young man (23yr old) last night, as he felt guilty of the unplanned drunk-sex with my wife). Part three is my gift project that I'm working as an apology.

I wanted to let you know that we're in a much better place today than 30 days ago. It was a fight that was needed. We love each other dearly and still plan and desire a lifetime relationship with each other. I didn't want you thinking that things got worse. It may be 1~4 days before I post part 2.

I share this is a way to help others who will find themselves in similar situations.

[nectcouple]

I'm glad!

[clitty]

First, I want to clarify & correct a few tidbits. You know how it is, you remember later what you forgot to include – there is so much more in life than what we can put into words. For those who haven’t read the first of this tread (it kind of emotional with a few nude pics) or other posts. I’m 46 with a 31yr old wife, she’s about 103lbs today and looks pretty much the same when she was 25.

Part 1+ correction: Early on when we were having a private talk about the messages and I was waiting for proof of the deleted conversation. My wife wanted invoked the monogamous rule. Which is that if we feel that our relationship is in danger, we would stop playing with others. I had countered that the situation has nothing to do with sex. Even thou I only had sex with one other woman this year, she’s had sex with 9 different men and 2 women, and NO – its not a competition!

Then when she had the blow up at the bar with me (while a few people nearby are “not” paying attention) – she talks about our lifestyle and that its bullshit for me to have issues when I didn’t go along with the monogamous rule. This is part of her anger and her commitment to me that she offered on the table the weeks before.

Also, the young man in question from previous update is not 23yrs old.

Part two is important. Part 3 is funny, trust me.

And now return to our feature presentation “Share of the Wife – Challenges”.

I left her work that morning, shaken. I send her a text about “lets have a civil talk”, her response wasn’t uplifting. She was sober, mad and busy at work. I went home and got some sleep for a few hours. The mark on her neck barely registered, it could also be an injury or I’m saw something incorrectly, as I had more pressing concerns and was exhausted, I went home and slept as well as I could.

I wake up after 12pm, eat and start working online. I see that John is ON facebook, its easier to type on a computer than a smartphone, so I open a chat window with him since they’ve done a lot of talking as friends, more so than sex. I tell him that I assume he’s talked to my wife about the fight and that she won’t walk to me.

John responds “~all I know is that you left her at a bar and she stayed at XYZ” (actual FB message quote).
I reply with what actually happened, he says “Oh”. He knows she was mad at me about my emotions and behavior, and has been afraid to talk to me about our problems. We talk online for about 10 minutes, where I told him I wasn’t upset about the sex and that I am aware of some problems, but not the extent of how much she has been hurting. John tells me that he is no longer interested in sex-play with my wife, as he wants the friendship with her that they have had for 5 years and not to be a home wrecker. I reply that I’m cool with him, and ask him if they have done sexual texting since. He says “yes, she’s horny. I made her angry when I laughed” – I laughed too and let him get back to work as I too had things to do.

My parents are staying at our home for a few week as it is, so I’d already told them she was drunk and went to a friends place. In our home, getting drunk is not allowed. We like our home to be a stable family environment.
So my parents don’t know any of the shit that went down and of course they don’t know my open relationship lifestyle either. Its one thing when I was dating lots of girls, but another to be dating girls while married

An hour or so later, my wife asks me to bring her some items to work, since she went directly to work from where she crashed. I meet her in the parking lot, she looks tired. I also brought the baby, as I know she missed him. She does give me a long strong hug, says she is sorry about blowing up on me and thinking I left her at a bar. I told her I’m glad she’s okay and talking to me, that she had the right to be upset. We’ll have serious talking after work and she kisses me goodbye.

Unfortunately, they were short staffed and she had to work a little later. I decided to visit her for a bit, which I do normally. Her building is next to a strip mall and I get a couple of drinks for us. There are some young guys hanging around a car and one of them is from the bar the night before, an ex-co worker. I walked up to him and we chatted, I apologize for the drama from the previous night – thanking him and his friend for taking her to their place. There were, after all other men at the bar that we don’t know who were being social with. If they were not there, I wouldn’t have left.

I’m back to my wife’s job, she sends me a text that she’s off work for a short while, in the car with John – that she was too busy to see that he was stopping by. It was a minute later I see them in his car. They have been talking for 20+ minutes. She goes back to work to get her things, I talk to John about the events.

So John, the guy who I had earlier thought was trying to hurt me a few weeks before, was talking to my wife to talk to me and other things. We said our goodbyes, had dinner – then had a sit down talk. I won’t go over the details (Already too much boring shit) – but communication, mis-communication and mis-read actions caused this bullshit. She thought I was not sexually attracted to her. She’s in severe pain and stress – that she didn’t want to add to my stress with her problems. Thus, bullshit caused this – it was a feedback loop in which we were getting at each other. While my “meeting about cheating” was bad, I didn’t want to have questions and have things simmer… that to talk about issues is HOW you save relationships. I told her never be afraid to say what problems she is having – WHEN SOBER, as I have been working on.

She brings up that she, the friends and two guys left the bar, went skinny dipping somewhere, lost the two bar guys, and crashed out at place of the people we know. We have both been there many times for social parties as they are younger with no kids. Drinking, games, movies, etc. Its not a place we talk about life-styles, etc.
So I looked at her neck more so, and said “I guess that didn’t happen at work?” She admitted to fucking the younger man, who I thought had a girlfriend relationship who lives else-ware. I brought it up before she did, I figure say something now since we’re all talking.

The one with the live-in girlfriend went to bed. Meanwhile the wife was up with Dave, and she seduced him – both of them are drunk and easy. She was honestly sorry about it. I hugged her and said I’m okay, behind honest with me is more important. I then said “well, you kind of threw out the Monogamy rule out, eh?” she laughed.

In the past week or so since during this fight and since, she has seen two doctors and has some issues going on, everything is treatable. But has been a source of many problems that we were not aware. She’s feeling better already and also know more about her health.

We would actually have SERIOUS talks about our relationship every day, when we can. And are doing very well. We are solid.

Part 3 is coming soon… I have a talk with Dave and more details about the sex. More fun than part two!