I love you, funny face!

[curly804]

Originally Posted by Ghost In Oblivion

1. "So there was a sale on capri pants at Macy's. I got three pairs for sixty dollars!" (How women talk dirty... to each other)
2. Some guys just don't wash themselves as well as they should...ya know?
3. (PART ONE) Aren't you glad you paid extra for Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service?
4. (PART TWO) However, Jane herself should give up the job of quality control inspection to someone less nearsighted.
5. This POV shot is really how a lot of guys see women. (Just focus on the big pussy and hope for a little head)
6. DOG: "When you're through showing off your mature ass to the wankers at OCC...can we go for a walk?"
7. When John flicked on the light Mary knew she was busted. Her attempts to smile and pretend she was "undressing downstairs so as not to wake him" might have worked... had John not heard the sound of his best friend Steve's Camero roaring away.
8. "Careful...if you get too close...she'll spring!" (Young cougar in training)
9. "Ooooh my gaaawd! I am soooooo hairy!" ( Amanda takes matters in hand)
10. A naive Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service employee: She's unsure why the homeowner insists she cleans the dog hairs off the couch one at a time...while he watches.

Your sense of humor is great! Thanks for the laughs (AND.....).

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. If you're going to cheat, don't do it at home. Every little noise will sound like your husband coming home from work early.
2. She's going to tell her friends later that she "just happened to run into him" Yeah...she repeatedly ran into his cock with her open mouth.
3. She looks young and inexperienced....probably keeps her birth control in a "Hello Kitty" purse.
4. Cindy loved Don because she loved Neopolitan ice cream: strawberry, chocolate and vanilla. (Look at his cock and leg skin tones!)
5. Well looook who had to go and break the string of blow job/hand job jokes...thanks a lot, Anal Annie!
6. This is a perfect example of getting mixed signals from a woman. She's smiling as if all is well, as that swift foot kicks your balls off.
7. (Part one) You remember how your mother used to say that if you make silly faces -one day your face might freeze that way?
8. (Part two) Well, here's the same woman forced to sleep with her face under the covers 'cause her boyfriend just can't stand it anymore.
9. (Part one) Angela patiently waiting for her slacker boyfriend to pay the overdue water bill so the hot water can be turned on again.
10. (Part two) Day's later...The slacker boyfriend apparently skipped town. Angela now waits for her new boyfriend to join her in the shower. Not only is he head of the county water department, he also happens to be pretty skilled with a loofa.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Guys, when you come home from a week-long business trip to find your wife looking like this...uh...she just might be cheating on you.
2. There just isn't a caption that can add to this picture in any way...
3. Notice that she's not behind the eight ball, but posing with the numbers six and nine...six and nine...69...oh, I get it.
4. "Excuse me. I have just arrived from France and am looking for mass quantities of cock." (Not a real Conehead, just a nymphomaniac)
5. "Get yer redhot titties right here..yes sir...come one come all, to my magnificent titty extravaganza!" (Never date an ex carnie)
6. As you can see, for Becky life is not a bowl of cherries, but a bowl of mixed fruit and a cock up the ass. Not that she's complaining...
7. "Ma'am, I have a comfortable place for you to sit waiting right over here..." ( What a thoughtful fellow!)
8. Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service (see last post) also has a pool service...Jane is an equal opportunity employer too.
9. Maria likes to spread a little holiday cheer this time of year...amongst all the other things she spreads.
10. "YO! WASSUP HOMIE? I GOT ME THREE HOTTIES SUCKIN' MY JUNK, DOG! I'M THE MAN!" ("Wass" NOT up... and NEVER DID get up...is his penis, despite the valiant efforts of the three "hotties." Let this be a lesson to young men everywhere. A little modesty goes a long way)

[wildfire54]

More everyday happening that don't happen.

1.After the fifth hand of strip poker.The girls finally figured out the game was rigged.

2.Cindy's High Kick move always seemed to ace the cheer leading contest.

3.After many years in the business. Pete never tired of being a wedding photographer.

4."I know it sounds paranoid.But it seems like everyone is staring at me."

5.Debbie actually got halfway to the kitchen before she remembered she was at her in laws house.

[wildfire54]

Never know where life will take you.

1.Ralph finally took the hint from his wife about his flatulence problem.

2.Shelly now realized she should have tried on the bikini before she bought it.

3.A few seconds later, Karla realized she'd just sent her picture to all of her husbands friends.

4.Rebecca looked up at the skylight in time to see she'd just made Santa Claus's night.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Jane liked fucking marines. Their dicks are always at attention.
2. Women in foreign countries aren't quite as used to the marines.
3. She's looking for suggestions and assistance... any volunteers from OCC? Of course there are. We are a helpful bunch.
4. "Dude...this is like the second time I've had sex this year!" (Dave is very proud of his prolific sexual encounters.)
5. Darla and Mike tried everything they could to distract Patty, but her superior concentration remained unbroken.
6. Somehow this reminds me of several Steven King movies. ( Redrump! Redrump!)
7. Carolina is channeling Sid Vicious.
8. DOG: "Uh...take your time showing your mature ass to the wankers at OCC. Someone pissed over here and it smells interesting."
9. I saw Andrea in these two pics and decided to collage and caption her...I also would love to screw her.
10. Careful now...those nipples emit a poisonous gas that can kill a man in eight seconds. And that tongue may look inviting, until the razor sharp barbs hook onto your penis. I tell ya fellas...sex with alien women is risky...damned risky!

[wildfire54]

More of life's general confusions.

1.The girls agreed that the new onion flavored water wasn't that good.

2.It was a surprise to it's creator's that naked hay bale surfing never caught on.

3.After five different test results. Debbie finally admitted to herself her weight gain wasn't due to overeating.

4.By the time she finished her third drink. Mary felt ready to marry her 78yr old fiance.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "...cause yooou make me feeel...yooou make me feeeel...yooou make me feeeeel like...a...natural...wooman!" ( Sing it, baby!)
2. "Oh yeah. This reminds me. We're out of sweetened condensed milk...you know the canned kind for baking? Can you make a store run?"
3. AT THE ORGY: Julie was so distracted by the handsome hunk across the room it totally threw off her blow job aim.
4. The "Cum Moustache" is a little like the "Milk Moustache" except it's thicker...and the housecats aren't so eager to lick it off.
5. PART ONE: "Fuck off Vince! Can't you see I'm busy? Go find something to amuse yourself and leave me alone!"
6. PART TWO: ( Picture received in her email hours later with the following message: ) "Hi Cindy. This is my new friend, Monica. I'm very amused. YOU fuck off!" Love, Vince.
7. It's not very nice when people "TP" your house. It's even worse when they "TP" your wife.
8. It's a real bummer when you get put on "hold" during phone sex.
9. PART ONE: Looking for a few extra bucks, Pia has signed on with Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service.
10. PART TWO: How nude housekeepers appear on "Casual Friday."

[wildfire54]

One more before the new year.

1. Connie's Lesbian Exercise Class was always well attended.

2.Tabitha once again had forgotten where she parked her car.

3."What's wrong,lady? You act like you've never seen a plumber before."

4.When she didn't have enough money to tip him. Paul decided that her alternate method of thanks was much better.

[wildfire54]

Things go on.

1.A woman outstanding in her field.(yeah,it's a little corny. but go with it).

2.It finally reached a point where the new library interns were asked to leave because they made to much noise.

3.It really amazed Gary how easy he could train monkeys to do tricks.

4.Always looking to find an edge in business, Fiona decided to open a nude obedience school for dogs.