my favs

[bbgapril]

I made a graceful beeline for the door, being friendly and acting very dense about the whole thing
My daughter was out by the fire and scooted over to let me sit by her

[bbgapril]

She patted my knee "I'm proud of you Dad"
"and I'm proud of you too." I returned
"No, you just turned down a good opportunity. You know she shaves, bald as a Q ball."

[bbgapril]

I squirmed uncomfortably, "You knew?"
"yep, I was telling Mom how she had the hots for you when you brought me out here. Then I saw her in her hunting boots, I knew she would make a play."
"Hunting boots? What do you hunt in those boots?"
"my father." she answered

[bbgapril]

"Your mother and I had a discussion before I left to come here, and I believe you are the one grading my performance." What are you giving me?"
" An A plus. Don't worry, I've texted Mom the minute you came out of the house and told her you passed her test."

[bbgapril]

So I stayed there that night, and finding it perfectly safe, left the next day, my mind on that little brunet I dodged, and knowing how close I came to messing up

[bbgapril]

Joke time

An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?"

[bbgapril]

This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day of service, he gets aquatinted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole."

Weeks pass, and the new guy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts fucking the barrel. Its simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success!

After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel really was great! I could do it every day!"

To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday." Confused, the new guy asks why, to which the other guy replies, "Because its your turn in the barrel on Thursday.

[bbgapril]

I will tel you about my revenge another day

[bbgapril]

So here is a question for you

[bbgapril]

If you could have a woman , and every part except one would be average, which part would you choose as your favorite