my favs

[bbgapril]

She wheeled out a small hanging bag, dropped her robe to show she was wearing nothing but a g string, then went right to work on the groom.
As she rubbed his face and asked his name as he stuttered an answer, she went on to ask "What is the future wife going to do for a living?"

[bbgapril]

"Work in an office" he stammered.
I'll bet you are a bad boy who peaks at her while she gets dressed." she replied.
"Do you want to help me get dressed" she asked.
Head nodding and hoots from his friends..
"Well, what should I wear?"
She rubbed her leg up and down his before sitting squarely on his lap and taking his head roughly.
"Do you like leather?"
I don't remember his exact answer, but it was something like "DUUerrrYEESSS"

[bbgapril]

She proceeded to open the bag and pull out her ensemble. Leather gloves which were put on slowly while straddling him, a leather corset with attached garter, which was buttoned just right, then she tipped his chair back and placed him on the floor.
She straddled him as asked "What is missing?"
He was so dazed, he could not answer.
"Oh my, I don't have any stockings."

[bbgapril]

Dropping the G string on his face, she pulled her vaginal lips apart and said "Oh, thats where I put them. Be a good boy now and give them to me please."
She squatted over his face, and as she slowly stood up, the stockings were in his lips and being pulled out from her.
She was commenting on how good they smelled when she kept them there.

[bbgapril]

That was a new one on me, but the rest of the show was not as creative as she may have thought.
Pants down, lap danced, ice cubed and whipped, clothes pins on his nipples and lipstick smeared, he was finally released from the chair to drink once more while a new girl came on stage to dance and do splits.

[bbgapril]

I decided to get some fresh air and step outside while the other guys remained to get plastered. Daisy headed me off at the pass "Are you leaving?' she asked.
"Just getting some air." I answered.
"Mind some company?"
"Not at all." I answered, but she steered me toward the back of the bar instead of out the front door.
A door left us out the back where other performers were gathered, smoking and talking.
"I can't go out front." she answered my puzzled look.

[bbgapril]

"You know, I was supposed to go home but I stayed when I saw you were here with the private party."
Looking up at me with big doe eye, she said "I know you are married and all, but there are times when the girls and I would talk. I was wondering if you ever found me attractive?"

[bbgapril]

Well, who am I to say no to a lady.

[bbgapril]

The groom to be may have gone home with blue balls that night, but I had myself a lovely time with a busty girl.

[bbgapril]

While walking down the street one day a Member of the Government is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.
'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the TD.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the TD joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The TD reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ' I don't understand,' stammers the TD.
'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? '

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, ' Yesterday we were campaigning.. ...

Today you voted.