my favs

[bbgapril]

I hope your bags are full of goodies tonight

[bbgapril]

I know, it's party night and they didn't even give you off on Friday

[bbgapril]

It's too late to find a clone of yourself and the boss will fire you if you call in sick

[bbgapril]

That is why you mounted that fake head on a spring, attached it to a broom handle. and dressed it in your clothes. The Boss only wants a yes man anyway, so give it a good slap and it may keep bobbling till you take it apart on Monday.

[bbgapril]

So good night to all, and keep your head.

[bbgapril]

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!"

➨ NO offense to anyone.........

[bbgapril]

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "S1ut!" he said, and dropped her.

[bbgapril]

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first-class section of a jet liner.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten or fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered quite violently once more.
Assuming the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, and said,
"I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed several times, wiped your nose, then shuddered violently. Are you okay?"
"Sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied. "I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.
"I've never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
"Yes," the woman nodded. "Pepper."

[bbgapril]

I want to thank nylonic40 for his major find he posted in the free link section..WOW

[bbgapril]

So, the wife went5 out of town last weekend on a family business situation. I offered to go with her, but she said she would be staying with her one sister. Her husband is the wormy type you can't help but want to beat the shit out of.