my favs

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I was very happy when I returned to the bar after our experience and found a pre-paid tab waiting for me with a simple note that said "sore as hell- thanks"

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There was a blind man sitting in a bar and he yells out to the bartender "Hey, you wana hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice they guy next to him says "Before you tell that joke mate I think there is something you should know, the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, there is a 6ft-2 300lb wrestler sitting two chairs away and hes blonde, im a 200lb black belt and im blonde, we're all blonde, are you sure that you still want to tell that joke mister?"
The blind man says "Naaah, not if im gonna have to explain it 4 times!"

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A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the Ramada Hotel where the American Bar Association was holding its Annual Convention.

More than 500 lawyers were taken as hostages.

The terrorist leader announced that, unless their demands were met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

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One Sunday morning, William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married for thirty years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."

William was heartbroken. After 8 months, he eventually started dating girls again. A year later, he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this."

William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."

His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father."

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A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."

The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

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Does anyone out there enjoy the show "True blood"?

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I came home and My wife was watching it, there was this wild ass scene where a vampire ripped the genitals off of a guy

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we've come a long way from the shows I grew up on

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I don't blame the people who make the shows, they have to push the boundaries to attract a jaded audience, but how many kids under the age of 18 watched that show?

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Is it the shows that are making our kids different, the video games they play, or their school? No, it's the parents. It's hard to be a good parent, and some, not all, take the easy way out.