April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

[RandRJ]

Originally Posted by osreb

April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

Classic

[Dogseye]

Only just made this one up, all my own work so try it on your friends.

Q. How do you drive an Irishman crazy?

A. Ask him if the Tower of Pisa leans to the left or to the right.

(At least I thought it was funny).

[osreb]

when you are having a bad day..just think of the squirrel in pic 1.

[osreb]

RUNNING NUDE

This is funnier than I thought it would be. Keep reading!

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror,
she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry!
Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got
a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the
window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly
discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon,
so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in
as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had
been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. Do you always
run in the nude?' one asked.

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your
clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly.
'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked,
'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'Nope..just when it's raining.'

[osreb]

Cajun Fire Insurance

A man and his wife moved back home to Louisiana from Arizona.
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Arizona was $2,000.00 a year!!!

When they arrived in Louisiana, they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, "$39.00."

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Louisiana to insure,
because it cost him $2,000.00 in Arizona!!!

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said,
"Well, here it is on the screen. it says:
Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00."

I always have found the Louisiana logic far superior to that of most other states.

[osreb]

I WOULD NOT HAVE TO MANAGE MY ANGER IF OTHER PEOPLE WOULD MANAGE THEIR STUPIDITY!!!!!

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over'.

The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, it ain't Stanley '.

The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up, Roll him over'.

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley '.

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.''

''What! He had two ass-holes?'' asked the mortician.

''Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 'There's Stanley with them two assholes.' ''

[osreb]

bathroom doors

[osreb]

Japanese eye test

[osreb]

pic 1............

[osreb]

pic 1............