my favs

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Tequila is really not a good friend to me

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One night when we went out together, I found out I had bought several hundreds of dollars worth of drinks

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another time, I woke up naked and cuffed to my bed with some blonde chick and my wife staring at me.

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which wouldn't be so bad but neither one of them would tell me what happened

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So I was not smart enough to leave her alone, I chased her one more time, some years back, when I was doing "contracting work" for corporate executives in Central America

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I was talking to this little number in a bar, just her, me and Tequila, when her boyfriend (or husband) came in, and boy was he pissed

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He began yelling, she shoved him, he smacked her, and I hit him in the head with the butt of my pistol. It was fast and over before you knew it.

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When I took her back to the hotel room and got to talking to her, I found out she was not from that country, but an American visiting relatives. More tequila

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As I was relaxing after a great blowjob, I caught her out of the corner of my eye grab my pants and head into the bathroom

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When she returned, I grabbed my pants and noticed my wallet was missing, but said nothing.
I wondered what the game was,
She picked up the phone and told me she was ordering room service.