[GRITS]

Originally Posted by looksalot

It would be interesting to know a little more about your select friends and swing group participants; i.e., are any in both groups, how often do participants join and leave, why do they do so, is the swing group all couples, do the select friends significant others know and participate, etc.

We get and love all the descriptions of the actions so how about some of the background getting there and ease of maintenance of these relationships; i.e., it's hard to believe that there's never jealousy, anger, disappointment, etc., as everyone can't be always in tip top form.

Thanks for the good question.... I'll try to break it down....

First of all. the jealousy thing... actually there is none.. and the reason is because finding people to participate like this on a long term basis is a job in itself...NOT a Craiglist search... You find people you know or recommended by people you know who are very ok w/ just having fun w/ it all.. the wife and I don't get jealous because we've been doing this since before we met, .. in fact as stated prior, we met at a swing group event... sex is sex... love is love, you can not mix the two... we love and are happy w/ each other as partners in life.. the sex, even our own, is an extracurriculiar activity of pleasure.... that is something some couples miss...having sex does not mean love........ But of course as we all know, if a partner refuses to have sex w/ spouse its sort of cruel and does show a lack of respect and love.... a little bit of a double edged sword.. but the attitude of the situtation at hand is there.
The people we play with are all married...both Swing Group & "Select "friends...none came from a Craiglist search. Everyone is there to have fun.... neither group knows each other exist. We keep them seperate for good reasons....Thats why you'll see us actually say-- a Swing Group friend or a "Select" friend when we play.

Swing Group-- We met at a meeting w/ this group 15?? years ago. She was a card carrying member, and I was a guest...We were the only single people there.... Now the rules are NO singles.. couples only, and the same people from 15 yrs ago are still there.. 12 couples limit... I've only seen one couple leave for breaking the rules and not having the correct attitude of No Problems or Drama... 2 other couples left because they moved way too far away to really participate. 2 other couples have come in after big time backgroud and probation period.. otherwise everyone is growing old together in the Group...Because we're strict w/ rules and attitude and again -finding people is a job in itself... nobody wants to leave a good thing--both people and activitys...
When we have a Swing Group meet, not every couple attends.. it optional..we try to get together monthly, but sometimes its more.... and if someone is having a bad night functioning sexually.. its ok.. we're all mature enough to know we're not supermen or superwomen..

"Select" friends-- all married, But their wives don't know.. they are cheating... there are 5 guys for wife... For me, there are 3 women.. all widowed, divorced and single. And we both limit our extracaricullar sex to just those "select" friends.. we are not picking up strangers... yuk!!!
They are actually friends we've known forever.. and we approached each seperately in deep thought discussion about the "Select" friend thing we wanted. We wanted married because they have something to keep secret.. single people talk too much and are out fucking others. The attitude is recreational sex w/ friends we can trust for safty and privacy.... we are both allowed to be w/ any, anytime. we usually tell the other if its about to happen. Because we're a couple/partners and in love & respect, its not or never in subtitute for being w/ each other... so encounters are not selfish in timing as to interfere w/ our time together... its extracariccular.
Attitude, attitude, attitude counts.. above all... no one is leaving their spouse for the other..
The biggest worry is that their wives fund out... but being married and cheating.. you tend to keep your mouth shut and not put yourself in jeopedy... She dosen't see all 5 weekly.. its if they can, and sometimes they don't/can't, etc.... same with the 3 women I know.... btw- the 3 women I know were friends of my wife so she arranged it all... they are all Bi- w/ her and I supply the manly affection they need when needed...
Anyone is free to quit anytime.. but why ruin a good thing.. there are no participation requirements.. its when you want to agreeably w/ the other..

Look, its not a situtation everyone falls into, or normal maybe... but we actually had a plan, refined it , worked on it, and implemented it happlily TOGETHER... that made the difference. Not Craiglist easy.

I hope that answered your Questions?? ---if not tell me, I'll try.