Thread: Track Star Jess
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:17 AM
cerindclvr cerindclvr is offline
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Default nice!!

Congrats on your first story being a winner! My only 'criticism' is that it sounds like you need to put it under the category of [ENF] if you plan to continue the story being about embarrassed nude females.

I loved this, personally. I think the main character is cute, and there's a lot of potential there. The list towards the beginning, of stuff the bully has done to her -- each one of those could be its own short bit, all excellent ideas. The description was excellent as well, nice attention to bodily details, and of course, everyone loves the jiggle. I think I speak for most of us when I say we all want to see Jess get into more embarrassing situations.

In my personal opinion, the more ridiculous and humiliating, pushing the limits of plausibility (or going beyond itwhile maintaining grounding, identifiable details), and the more graphic, the better. But that's just me.
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