[First Time] The funniest things...

[GRITS]

Originally Posted by BlackBunny

Have you got any silly stories? With either you or a partner?
I have a few, but I'll start off with this one. Please share yours if you wish.

I was going out with a girl called Mandy.
She'd heard about these things called "blow jobs."
She was a lovely girl and wanted to please me.
We both got semi-naked and she managed to get me really hard.
We were both in our late teens.
She got my pants off, lowered her face to my cock and then gently blew on it...

Long ago ex girlfriend..... beautiful girl, long brown hair, 5'4'' built like a buxon model.....really hot and great persoality.. a nurse by trade.

BUT the problem was, (believe it or not , it was a problem),,,ALL she wanted 24/7 was sex sex sex and more sex...

We never finished a movie at the theater, because half was thru the movie she was sucking my cock, and we'd have to leave,,, on the ride home I'd have to pull over for her to suck my cock,, and when we got home she wanted a good fucking!!!...... EVERYWHERE we went , was interuped by her need for sex...EVERYHERE!!!

When we'd go to holiday dinner at our parents or relatives houses she'd pull me into a room for sex....when we'd go shopping we had to stop for sex...road trips were tough stoping every 2 hrs for sex off the road..

Every night we spend together we have 3/4 hrs of wild sex.... then go to sleep,and she'd wake me in the middle of the night for more.. She was loyal and didn't cheat looking for more,, but wanted all the sex I had to give...I held up OK, but it was exhausting!!!

At first I thought it was humerous,, but it turned out to be burdenous...... we went out for 2 yrs, until I broke it off because of the sexual demands of her........ it must be funny!!!

[1michael]

Going out with a few girls was normal, but having a few that you can get to 1st Base with was my top goal~
I was going out with MaryAnn on and off for awhile and I'm not sure if she was seeing other guy, because I was taking out other girls when I didn't look around for her.
But I can say she was great for making out in my car and we did plenty of tongue exchanges along with some groping too but only on top of the clothing!
There was a time when MaryAnn noticed that I had a small collection of pencils and Ink pens in a sleeve on the dashboard right in front of her. She was the 1st girl to take notice of them and even talk about them too, but she asked me if I used them to see if the girls that I was with could hole them Up with their tits?
It was unusual to hear that from a girl, but I found it real interesting, so I asked her if she thinks she could hold Up a pencil for the Test? She said lets find out, then she removed all her clothing on top so her tits were exposed and I finally got a great view of them!
She lifted one of her breast and told me to put a pencil under it, after I did she let go of her breast and the pencil fell. Since it was FUN and interesting for both of us, we did it a few more time with the same results!
After a few moments of thought, I got a but braver and told her we're making use of the wrong pencil~
She asked me which one are we suppose to be using? I unzipped my pants and exposed my cock to her and it was in a growing condition already, so I places her hand on it and said use this one!
She wasn't able to get in Up there into the under breast position, but was enjoying it with her hand in a stroking motion that I never had enjoyed before!
That moment of Fun turned into many playful adventures, then she came to my buddy's BAR one night and introduced me to one of her girlfriends!
This girl Carol was Busty looking even with her clothing on and MaryAnn told me that she could Pass the pencil Test if I wanted to try it with her? Besides that MaryAnn told me that Carol just loves SEX!
Where else could you find a girlfriend that would introduce you to another friend of hers to have SEX with when we all left the BAR? It was another Great night and many more with Carol too, she did Pass the pencil Test with flying Colors! lol

[explorer98]

Yes!!

Lots of years ago, in my late teens, my girlfriend's parents were away on holiday so we had their house to ourselves for a week. Naturally enough, we were at it like rabbits the entire time!!

There are two things I particularly remember though and this is one of them: one afternoon, we were on the sofa - banging like a gate in a gale - when from the radio I heard; "...and whatever you're doing, you're doing it better with Radio 1!"

And right at the point, suddenly, I wasn't!!! We just collapsed in a laughing heap!!

My thanks to Paul Burnett for ruining a perfectly good fuck - but 40+ years later, it still makes me laugh!

[explorer98]

The other thing - same week...

I don't know how well this will 'translate' for the rest of the world? What I'm going to attempt to describe might be a particularly UK thing.

In older times (certainly pre-1970's and maybe even pre-60's) we had a trend for making beds which had wooden head and footboards where each carried two quite heavy, cast iron brackets. These brackets carried the 'underframe' which was typically constructed from an angle iron perimeter frame and a 'diamond wire' linked mesh which carried the mattress above.

One of the bedrooms at her parents' house had one of these beds and one day 'that week' we were giving it one hell of a workout!!!

There was a bit of a crack - accompanied by a kind of 'crunching' sound but I'm pretty sure we both thought "fuck it, not stopping now!" and carried on as we did at that age!

Next thing, one corner has clearly broken away as that part of the bed is now pretty much on the floor and the foot board is leaning in at a hell of an angle!

"Fuck it!" I'm guessing that's what we both thought because all I remember is that we DIDN'T stop!! We just carried on hammer and tongs and the next thing was that - given the extra load - the headboard end let go in a similar fashion - and we still didn't stop!!

I came, she came and the bed quite literally folded in on top of us like a house of cards! Nobody hurt, two VERY satisfied teenage lovers - and one VERY knackered old bed!!

And again, we just laughed!!

I honestly can't remember how we explained it when her folks got back. I think the yarn we spun was that one of us fell on it or something suitably believable.

Oh the joys of seventeen.....!!!

[Gnome72141]

I am sure there are more, but a few come to mind right away:

In college, I was friends with twins (women). They invited me to a threesome one day. Now, I knew they didn't mean an ACTUAL threesome, but I was really confused what they were talking about. Turns out they were part of some cultish-type church and a "threesome" was when siblings would get an outsider to attend a church service. But, they were so naïve that they didn't know any other definition of a threesome.

Another time I was camping with a friend's friend's family (my friend who invited me got sick, but I still went without him and didn't know a single person). They announced that it was time to go skinny dipping. I was scared and excited at the same time. But, I quickly learned that to them "skinny dipping" meant swimming with regular clothes on. I tried to explain to them what they had wrong, but it was essentially 8 people vs me. A few years later I learned that there are actually quite a few people who think that skinny dipping is swimming in regular clothes.

[scouty]

After a holiday my friends came over and before showing the holiday pics I separated out the nude prints of my wife into a different packet. While I was eating dinner my wife accidentally gave the nude packet to my friends...

[thefergieferg1]

Many years ago I had a girlfriend who didn't have orgasms, she used to call them "organisms". It always amused me privately because she boyfriends before but obviously no one had corrected her and I didn't have the heart to either.

Orgasms, Organisms, they were all the same to me!

[1michael]

My wife is a playful person with a great sense of humor and she enjoy having Tricks done on me or on other friends~ So with all of the naughty things she does without any embarrassment or her part, I know a few things that really gets her Embarrassed and timid when we're around other couples or friends!
When I know that we'll match up with other spouses, I'll got over to the guy and tell him a deep secret on a favor that he can do for me! He'll know its all in FUN and that anybody there will get a huge hick out of it too~
Then while I'm matching up with the guys wife or another wife, I'll tell her what's going to happen just so we don't get to involved into things and miss out on the action!
If it was me doing some naughty play with my wife, she'll catch on fast cause she knows I do it to her plenty of times and it get her upset and pissed off at me!
I've tried this on a few other women, but for some reason I haven't found anybody else except for my wife that it works on so great!
So this is what I asked the guy to do: While he is going down on her and eating out her pussy, I asked him to blow some Air on that same area but then go closer and blow plenty of Air inside her too!
For some reason the Air seems to get trapped inside her and just stays there in a huge pocket until she has a sudden rapid body movement!
Then when she does, the Air rushes out thru her puffy lips just like that coming out of a balloon filled with Air!
That large amount of Air coming out sounds like she ate a can of Beans and now has to do a super Fart.
When that happens, she'll break away and cover her lips with her hands to try and muffle the sounds!
Her face turns bright RED and she'll try to explain to everybody just what happed and that she is not Farting~!!
Then she'll look over at me and say You told him to do that just to Embarrass me, but I'll get back at you another day! lol
Like I said, the many things my wife does won't embarrass her but making Farting sounds with others around does the Trick!
She did many on Me, but plenty of them worked out well in my favor lol~

[piecenick]

Originally Posted by 1michael

My wife is a playful person with a great sense of humor and she enjoy having Tricks done on me or on other friends~ So with all of the naughty things she does without any embarrassment or her part, I know a few things that really gets her Embarrassed and timid when we're around other couples or friends!
When I know that we'll match up with other spouses, I'll got over to the guy and tell him a deep secret on a favor that he can do for me! He'll know its all in FUN and that anybody there will get a huge hick out of it too~
Then while I'm matching up with the guys wife or another wife, I'll tell her what's going to happen just so we don't get to involved into things and miss out on the action!
If it was me doing some naughty play with my wife, she'll catch on fast cause she knows I do it to her plenty of times and it get her upset and pissed off at me!
I've tried this on a few other women, but for some reason I haven't found anybody else except for my wife that it works on so great!
So this is what I asked the guy to do: While he is going down on her and eating out her pussy, I asked him to blow some Air on that same area but then go closer and blow plenty of Air inside her too!
For some reason the Air seems to get trapped inside her and just stays there in a huge pocket until she has a sudden rapid body movement!
Then when she does, the Air rushes out thru her puffy lips just like that coming out of a balloon filled with Air!
That large amount of Air coming out sounds like she ate a can of Beans and now has to do a super Fart.
When that happens, she'll break away and cover her lips with her hands to try and muffle the sounds!
Her face turns bright RED and she'll try to explain to everybody just what happed and that she is not Farting~!!
Then she'll look over at me and say You told him to do that just to Embarrass me, but I'll get back at you another day! lol
Like I said, the many things my wife does won't embarrass her but making Farting sounds with others around does the Trick!
She did many on Me, but plenty of them worked out well in my favor lol~

Never blow air into a vagina. It can result in serious injury or death. Air embolism.

[1michael]

Originally Posted by piecenick

Never blow air into a vagina. It can result in serious injury or death. Air embolism.

Besides being here for enjoying the pics and sharing some adventures, its also great to find out other things that can help out members here and make them more aware of stuff that can do harm too!
So I'll just have to find another way to get back at her and give her some Embarrassment instead of other problems~
THANKS!