Worst sex you've ever had

[kraignurser]

Originally Posted by PuffyNips

The worst sex I’ve ever had is with my wife. For one thing the sex has been incredibly infrequent at times. After returning from the honeymoon, we had sex four times in the first five years. She was in her sexual prime and we once went for two and a half years with no sex at all.

When we do have sex, it has never once been initiated by her. It has also never been spontaneous. I plead for sex for a year. She finally gives in, but that means she will put it in her schedule. She’ll tell me we will have sex a week from Thursday at 9:30 pm.

If I don’t do things exactly the way she wants in the days leading up to the sex, then the event is canceled.

The sex itself is mind-numbingly dull, repetitive and frustrating. I am to perform oral sex on her until she orgasms. This usually takes an hour. I am then allowed to have sexual intercourse with her in the missionary position. She will not allow for any other position. She will not perform oral sex. Mostly I will pull out of her and jack off to finish the job. The most interaction she has with me cumming is she will get a tissue and hold it in place over my dick so I cum in it. Of paramount importance to her is that no cum gets on the sheets.

Other quirks:

* She will hum during sex. It is always a piece of classical music. Imagine licking a woman’s pussy while she is rigorously humming a tune. The tunes always build up too, like she starts shaking her head about with the tune. She has also used her fingers to conduct whatever symphony she is reciting. I don’t know the psychology of this. I think she wants to make enough noise to drown out any slurping sounds I’m making.

* After the “concert” ends, she will often start talking. She will tell me what’s on her to do list tomorrow. Oh, she has to bring her umbrella in for repair. What woman talks about getting her umbrella repaired during the middle of sex? Ever try to cum while the woman is gabbing about inconsequential nonsense? On several occasions, like if I take more than ten minutes to cum, she will ask me to hurry up. See how that works? I patiently work on her for an hour to bring her to orgasm. But when it comes to her giving me pleasure, ten minutes is too much effort

* After I cum she flees the seen of the crime. She races to the bathroom and takes a shower to wash off any traces of sex. Sometimes she quickly gets up to do this just as I start cumming. By the time I shoot my third blast of cum, I’m alone in the bed and she’s already in the bathroom.

* Sometimes, after her orgasm she will fall asleep. Sometimes this happens as soon as she orgasms, sometimes it happens a few minutes later during the middle of sexual intercourse. Ever try to fuck a sleeping woman?

* There was one time we had sex in the middle of the afternoon (as her schedule would allow). After she orgasmed and we started to have sexual intercourse, she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up and explained she had to be somewhere. She told me to finish myself off by hand when she was gone. I bristled at the callous way she said it. I spoke up and said, “No. That isn’t sex with you. That is sex by myself.” She said take it or leave it, she said she didn’t care if I made myself cum or not. And I think that summed her up, she doesn’t care if her partner cums or not. That might be my textbook definition of terrible sex.

Please share your stories, if you have them. It would make me feel better knowing others have also had terrible sex.

Absolutely no way you are serious. Why did she get married? So you two could be buddies?

[nigbo]

friend of my wifes before we were married - 2 of us took her in turns one night did her about 12x between us.

A week later I had her again - worst fuck ever - she was as dry as a bone. Didn't bother with her again.

1st girlfriend ever - couldn't even get into her she was that tight. Mate of mine went out with her for ages after and even got engaged to marry her - but it all fell through. Not many months after he started going out with her, he asked me if I had fucked her as it was rumoured I had. I told the truth & said no. His reply - 'You must have had a small dick if you did !'

I didn't further the conversation, but she went on to get serious with 2 more guys before marrying. She has 2 grown up kids now. I caught up with her via FB 4 years ago. My green-eyed dragon missus went ballistic !!!

[sleazoid]

Originally Posted by kraignurser

Absolutely no way you are serious. Why did she get married? So you two could be buddies?

Can't people choose to marry because they have deep affection for one other, even if they don't have pornstar sex 3 times a day?

[clitty]

Originally Posted by sleazoid

Can't people choose to marry because they have deep affection for one other, even if they don't have pornstar sex 3 times a day?

Go to page 1, first post... read it... get back to us. Seriously, I don't see why they married (I gather it was NO sex before marriage type of thing) - I would have dump her the first night. Sex is a big part of being in a good marriage. Either both of you are dead fucks or both of you are horn-dogs - being lopsided is not fun for one of both. No-one should be begging to get laid from their partner... especially if its months or a year!

With the OP - that is pretty much justifiable homicide. Hell, with my wife - she loves to play with my dick - even in the middle day, a quick squeeze or a 5 second suck with a house full of guests. A quickie is 5~10min, otherwise a good love making session will be 1~2 hours which results in a sore pussy for 1-2 days.


I thought my "worst sex" was bad... But here it goes. Years ago at a dance club. Months after a breakup, I was talking to a couple of ladies. One I knew (unavailable) so I talked with her friend. She was dressed sexy, we were hitting it off and getting horny. After about 5~10min of chatting I cut to the chase "Do you wanna fuck?" We talked to the mens bathroom which has solid-wall toilet stalls. In this club Men and womens bathrooms are connected. People fucking or doing drugs or plain pissing is the norm.

She bends over the stall and I start fucking her. Quickly, I don't like it... The way she moves, the noises she makes, the way my dick felt inside her. I had to think of the EX and other women to keep it hard. When I felt myself going soft and getting exhausted trying to "keep it up". I faked it into the condom. I was a gentleman at least. She left the stall, thinking she rocked my world. Next runner up: A woman with shy-mental issues as I would soon learn. I date her twice afterwards to teach her some social and fucking skills... but for the most part was glad be on my way. She was semi-dead. Wanted to be flogged. Had no intimacy skills or abilities.

Post about Girls passing out from orgasms
Those are pretty good fucks... they are enjoying whatever it is you are doing... the brain shuts down. I've finger fucked a girl while standing up and she passes out... I though it was great.

Puffynips / Reference to death in the family
I wouldn't call it the worst sex, as it didn't happen. The circumstances is one of the worst things to happen... Trama for her, the most. It was the very worst time - that meant every time someone attempted or did finally pop her cherry - it would always be death related. Sorry to hear that... sounds like she COULD have been the one.

[filbert1953]

Worst for us was a New Year's Eve a few years ago.

I've been taking Levitra for several years. When I first started taking it, my face got extremely warm, and my dick got extremely hard. Once I'd taken a pill, there was no way I could relax and get rid of an erection without having at least one orgasm. Normally, that was a good thing.

Just before midnight, we showered, got into bed, and started foreplay. That's when the phone started ringing and ringing. Rather than have either of us wait to see what the call was about (All her close relatives were already deceased, so we knew that wouldn't be the source of the call).

It turned out to be for my wife. She'd been a teacher, and her aide had become a very close friend. Well, the aide had just passed away from a very aggressive cancer (to give an idea of how close friends my wife and the aide had been, my wife was one of the first on the list of people to call, before several of the aide's family members). Upon hearing the news, my wife broke down in tears.

That did it for sex on that night, although I was stuck with a raging erection. So, I had to head into the john and stroke myself off. I don't blame my wife for being upset; she's a very private person and doesn't make a lot of friends. Those people who do become her friends find she's very serious about her commitments and doesn't take those friendships lightly.

F

[ModelT-MsDollie]

Originally Posted by sleazoid

Can't people choose to marry because they have deep affection for one other, even if they don't have pornstar sex 3 times a day?

About the only way I can answer this question is I DON'T KNOW.
Hate to admit it but my GF who became my only wife, and I had pornstar sex 3 times a day............. or more. People actually thought Dollie was a pornstar. Remember Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat? Her costar and partner in the movie was named DOLLY SHARP. Dollie's same name and ironically they looked and acted a lot alike. But I digress.
I'd tell Dollie I loved her but only after she said it a 100 times and begged me to say it. We were actually married and had a son before I could say I LOVE YOU and mean it. I was a virgin, she'd only had sex at age 13 1/2 when ra**ped, so basically we taught each other.
I was after her pussy. In fact I used Dollie as my sex toy and admit I trained her to be my toy. Appparently I was one hell of a teacher and she was a good student.
Yes I love her very much. But it would have never lasted without the sex. I worked on old cars, motorcycles, and did other things. But my favorite hobby is fondling and fucking. Love came later.
After all, what is love and how do you know when it really happens?
Sorry, we never had bad sex together. Sometimes we both went home sore. But that was good!

[naaktstel]

@ModelT: Why do you post here when your sex was always great? Just to point out to the orders how great a couple you are? Open your own thread for that!
(yes... I am getting annoyed because of your posts)

[ModelT-MsDollie]

Originally Posted by naaktstel

@ModelT: Why do you post here when your sex was always great? Just to point out to the orders how great a couple you are? Open your own thread for that!
(yes... I am getting annoyed because of your posts)

Sorry! I was just trying to give my answer to the question. But I'm not sorry our sex was great. In fact I did post earlier about some not so great sexual adventures.
No matter, we are keeping the thread alive. I do have other threads but love making comments wherever I can.
Again sorry!

[sleazoid]

Originally Posted by clitty

Go to page 1, first post... read it... get back to us...

I had read the original post, but read it again to see if I had missed something.

I think I understand the OP's frustration, and I do think that sex can be a big part of a successful marriage. But it's not the only thing that makes it successful. At least in my eyes, bad sex or lack of sex is not enough of a reason to break up.

Let's just agree to disagree.

[stevezr1]

That's an easy one.

It happened what seems like hundred years ago... probably late 70's?
That's when EVERYONE had to swap wives...... I think it was a law back then.....

My best buddy & his wife swapped with me and my wife one night.
So he got to fuck my luscious wife.
I got to fuck his double - fugley wife who was also lousy in bed.

I don't know what I was thinking.... I guess I just had the need for some strange pussy.
My buddy was the one who most wanted it, but all four of us felt the need to do it just to be cool.... since EVERYONE else was doing it. or so it seemed at the time.
.