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Old 04-10-2019, 11:08 AM
HeWhoDares HeWhoDares is offline
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Default Accidents/injuries/amusing occurrences while having sex

Not sure if this will “work” as a thread, or if it’s been done before, but here goes...

Have you or your partner suffered an injury or accident while having sex? Or anyone got any stories of something funny/amusing that’s happened during the deed? Kind of like “porn outtakes” you sometimes see?

Some examples that have happened to or involved me in the past:

Injuries:

Have caused carpet burns in the past from fucking on the floor. Always put a blanket or towel down these days!

In my younger days, I tried to do a half nelson position with my then girlfriend (now my wife) after seeing it in a porn video and thinking it looked cool. I was struggling big-style to get my hands behind her head and ended up really hurting both her inner thigh muscles trying to force her legs wide enough apart. She was limping for days afterwards. Took a while for her to forgive that one!


Accidents:

When giving a girlfriend a (reluctant) facial I did the classic thing of aiming badly and ending up shooting my cum right into her eye. She was very pissed off with me and had a bloodshot eye afterwards!

Several times, usually when drunk or there’s been too much lube used, I’ve slipped into the wrong hole when it wasn’t anticipated. Usually gets me a slap!


Amusing occurrences:

Do quite a lot of anal on my wife. Often, when first entering or first starting to thrust, there’ll be a bit of air trapped which escapes a bit noisily. Always makes me giggle when it happens!

With a girlfriend at uni, we were having noisy sex one night. All of a sudden her housemate who’s bedroom was above us bangs on her floor and shouts “WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO REVISE!” Bit of a shock as we didn’t realise she was in, but it made us laugh.

Wife was a bridesmaid at her best friends wedding. She was in a black shiny dress. After reception drinks but before the sit down meal, we snuck up to our room for a quick fuck. We were so horny that we didn’t get totally naked, I just pulled the front of her dress down and lifted the skirt part up and fucked her like that. Anyway, somehow during our frantic fumblings a load of my cum ended up down the front of her dress. She was pissed off but the whole situation was quite funny. She cleaned up as best as she could but had to spend the rest of the wedding trying to hide/disguise the stain. At the meal, she made a big deal of “accidentally” dropping some ice cream down herself, to give her a good cover story. Everyone we were sitting with was so sympathetic but inside I was laughing at the real reason she’d done it!

Those are the ones that spring to mind for me. Would love to hear yours if you have any!
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  #2  
Old 04-10-2019, 03:37 PM
ripstar1 ripstar1 is offline
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Default Ant bites

I was volunteering at a festival one year. It had been a long hard day of work. I needed to a check on the perimeter of the grounds so I grabbed a four-wheeler. This volunteer gal asked if I wanted company. Sure so she hopped on in back of me. As we rode around she had her arms wrapped around my mid-section. Her arms/hands moved lower until her hands were over my crotch.

She asked if I would let her drive the four-wheeler as she had never driven one. Ok we switched places and off we went - kinda slow her being a beginner. She kept asking me which way to turn so I told her I would squeeze her with my right hand to turn right and left to turn left.

At first I just squeezed her sides, then on a lark I squeezed her right tit. Then the left. Then right etc. She laughed and made comments about my giving direction that way. I gave her the proper squeezes to get her to drive to a secluded area of the festival grounds. I squeezed both tits at the same time for her to stop.

We got off the four-wheeler and without saying anything she embraced me and kissed me with generous use of her tongue. Before long we had explored each others bodies generously and clothes started to come off. I played with the titties and tasted her sex as she did the same to me.

Soon we were laying on the ground fucking away. When we were done she said she needed to get up right away. Well her butt had been lying on a fire ant hill. She turned around and I brushed several ants off her backside. Well, that ended a good time.

The next day she whispered to me she thought she had been bitten numerous times even around her anus. I told her to be patient and I would get something to relieve the discomfort. I sent a helper to the store for white vinegar and itch-relieving lotion.

I found her and told her I had something for her. We headed for this RV we had as a get-away for the volunteers. I told her to drop her pants and it might sting a little. She bent over and there were numerous ant bites on her ass several of which were in the crack. I applied the vinegar to which she expressed discomfort from the sting. I rubbed her pussy to distract her from the sting.

I then took the lotion and started to apply it to her butt. I worked my way toward her anus and started rubbing it there. She didn't resist. So with my clean hand I probed her butt to which she seemed to enjoy. I asked and she told me she liked anal sex. Down came my pants and I was already hard.

I rubbed my dick around her pussy and ass. Just as I prepared to enter her there was a knock on the door. Well, that was the end of that as we quickly pulled our clothes back on. I let the couple in that knocked. I thought we had escaped suspicion, when the newly arrived gal asked what we were doing with vinegar and inti-itch lotion.

I explained it was there for anyone who might get insect bites and we were out the door. I did mange some backdoor fun with her at a later time.
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