Golfin' Gals

[osreb]

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship"

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, Ahh "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman." 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "By all the saints! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"


__._,_.___

[fz1]

Good one osreb

[jooo]

I like this thread and where it is going! May want to rename it the 19th hole

[osreb]

A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their
weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful
young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approaches them. She
explains that the member who brought her to the club for a round of
golf had an emergency which called him away and asks the trio whether
she can join them.


Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the blonde thanks them and
says, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing
shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars, have a beer,
bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally
do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf,
consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to
play my shots."


With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first. All
eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place her
ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball 270
yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The father's
mouth is agape.


"That was beautiful," said the dad. The blonde puts her driver away
and says, "I really didn't get into it and I should have faded it a
little."


After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots (she
was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron and lofts
the ball within five feet of the hole.


The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."


The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left a
tricky little putt." After the son buries a long putt for a par, dad
two putts for a bogey and granddad overruns the green with his
pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double bogey, the blonde
taps in the five-footer for a birdie.


The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her putter
back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't played much
lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really get into this next
drive."


Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and knocks
the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards away smack in
the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the round the statuesque
blonde continues to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting
for par or less on every hole.


When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par, but
has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She
turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to thank you all for
not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to
use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd
really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me
how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment,
pour some 25-year old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and
then show him a good time the rest of the night."


The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the green,
carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says, "Honey, aim
about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get
over that little hump and break right into the cup."


The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter as a
plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly
10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback, so
it falls into the cup."


The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's ball on
the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's a gimme,
sweetheart. Your car or mine?"

[ftwpeeker]

Originally Posted by osreb

A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their
weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful
young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approaches them. She
explains that the member who brought her to the club for a round of
golf had an emergency which called him away and asks the trio whether
she can join them.


Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the blonde thanks them and
says, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing
shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars, have a beer,
bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally
do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf,
consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to
play my shots."


With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first. All
eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place her
ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball 270
yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The father's
mouth is agape.


"That was beautiful," said the dad. The blonde puts her driver away
and says, "I really didn't get into it and I should have faded it a
little."


After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots (she
was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron and lofts
the ball within five feet of the hole.


The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."


The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left a
tricky little putt." After the son buries a long putt for a par, dad
two putts for a bogey and granddad overruns the green with his
pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double bogey, the blonde
taps in the five-footer for a birdie.


The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her putter
back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't played much
lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really get into this next
drive."


Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and knocks
the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards away smack in
the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the round the statuesque
blonde continues to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting
for par or less on every hole.


When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par, but
has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She
turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to thank you all for
not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to
use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd
really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me
how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment,
pour some 25-year old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and
then show him a good time the rest of the night."


The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the green,
carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says, "Honey, aim
about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get
over that little hump and break right into the cup."


The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter as a
plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly
10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback, so
it falls into the cup."


The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's ball on
the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's a gimme,
sweetheart. Your car or mine?"

good one osred, as most of your post are thank you again

[fz1]

Osreb, another outstanding joke and pics. Thanks

[LubbockDiesel]

Here are some nice...shots. (Ha, ha)

[fz1]

You have to love Golfin Gals

[fz1]

Sitting here watching the LPGA and thought these would be appropriate

[fz1]

More fun on the links