[First Time] Advice for First Time Nudist Resort with Friends

[anonjohn]

Two types of places/events have, so far, been described.
- 1michael's "Adult Cruise" seems to be open to swinging and eroticised nudity.
- most other people have described genuine naturist/nudist resorts which are affiliated to AANR, BN or INF, where the nudity is not sexualised - and if that is what you are expecting/hoping for then you will be disappointed.

The problems arise when people go to the wrong place with the wrong expectations or behaviour. eg sexualised nudity or swinging behaviour in public at genuine naturist/nudist places will get you thrown out.

How do you tell the difference beforehand? It will be genuinely naturist/nudist if is affiliated with AANR, BN or INF; or if it is "family friendly" and children are welcome.

[shower1000]

Originally Posted by 1michael

My wife and I . . . go on an Adult Cruise with my wife's cousin and her hubby!

I hope this helps some out with what to think about and if they have the same interest?

We read your story of your exploits on an Adults Only cruise. We assume that your involuntary erection leading to a wife swapping sexual event was part of a previously agreed arrangement with your wife and cousin.

While this thread is "Advice for First Time Nudists", we hope that anyone contemplating participation in social nudity doesn't get the wrong idea as to what nudist facilities are about. We don't mean to get preachy here, but really don't want potential new nudists to get the wrong impression of what wholesome social nudity is like. In our case, the rare unwanted erection is dealt with by a change in stimulius: covering with a towel and a distracting activity, such as playing cards or reading a magazine.

Nudists, like everyone else, enjoy watching people and like to be noticed and themselves found to be attractive. That is part of social interaction. Getting sexual pleasure from seeing others or being seen is usually reserved for facilities designed for more sexually charged activities.

Sexual encounters do happen on nude cruises and nudist resorts; and they also happen at Disney World or the local supermarket. Nudists are not against sexuality but recognize that there are appropriate times and places to experience it. We engage in sexual activity at a nude facility with the same levels of public discretion and decency as you would in any textile environment. These activities are usually descrete and conducted in private locations.

Nudists are not asexual anymore than the average "textile" person, but they do know how to distinguish sexual nudity from non sexual nudity. They believe that simple nudity does NOT equal sex and do not confuse the presence of a nude person as some form of implied consent or invitation for sexual behavior. Over the long term, living nude is probably no more sexual than the textile lifestyle. It is believed that most textile people tend see nudity as a sexual overture because they do not experience nudity in everyday situations and only enter some state of nudity when engaging in sex.

Once again, sorry to sound preachy or "holier than thou", but as lifelong nudists we wanted to point out that even though we have had our own sexual exploits over the years, our clothsfree lifestyle has been mostly wholesome and no different than that of any other textile family. As my wife likes to say: Its like "Father Knows Best" except everyone is nude.

[indym]

Originally Posted by Kmaxx2525

My wife is reluctant to go because she is afraid seeing mutual friends naked would make things weird going forward. We are very comfortable with this couple, however, and this would be strictly platonic plans.

Originally Posted by Kmaxx2525

Has anyone had friendships affected positively or negatively by seeing/being around one another nude?

Originally Posted by Kmaxx2525

Any thoughts on how I can make my wife more comfortable? Again, it's not the nudity aspect, but the nude with friends aspect.

I've not been to a resort, but I have gone many times to a nude beach nearby with my wife and her girlfriends. We were nervous the first time we went alone, for sure. It is a vulnerable position to be in, and if someone says the first time they did something like this that they were not a little nervous, they are not telling the truth. Every single person we took with us was as nervous or more nervous than we were the first time. Everyone relaxed and enjoyed themselves in the end.

Can seeing mutual friends naked be weird going forward...absolutely. But only if both of you make it that way. You say strictly platonic, and if that also means no other sexual motives, then I think you will be fine. If you have some other reason and you're just saying the platonic part, maybe this isn't a good idea for you.

Also, how well do you really know this couple? Are they asking to go with you because you've talked about the hot springs, and they think you're the couple to help guide them? If so, maybe you need to set that straight.

How devastated would you be if you stopped being friends/cut ties after your trip? If the answer is completely devastated, why chance it? Say no thank you, and don't look back.

I'm not calling you out, but is it really your wife that is uncomfortable. You shared why you're nervous, and it honestly seems like that is the real reason. If that is it... only you can answer how weird it could be and if you can get over it.

[bushman1]

My wife, myself, and other couple decided to go to a nude beach together.......first time for all of us.
My wife wasn't real crazy about the idea about being nude around other people, but gave in and she would go but was only going to take her top off.

It was a hot day when we got to the beach....we set up an umbrella and some beach towels. I was pretty warm and quickly stripped down and went out for a swim. Next thing I see is my totally naked wife and my friend heading out
into the water towards me.

I guess it didn't take long for her to lose her inhibitions about going naked around a bunch of people.
Once she saw everyone else she decided she would just blend into the crowd.
Now we boat, fish, and swim naked often and go to the nude beach several times a year.

Seems once you break the ice, it's no big deal after that.

[Shihoin]

Originally Posted by bushman1

Once she saw everyone else she decided she would just blend into the crowd.
Seems once you break the ice, it's no big deal after that.

It's a common outcome.

My wife was no exception - even though she wasn't too keen on being see naked on her very first visit to a nudist resort.
Once she walked into the pool area, tightly wrapped in her towel, and saw that everyone there was naked, she started to feel "self-conscious about being self-conscious." But it was really when people there started interacting with her that a "switch" went off. They didn't show any shyness about being naked in front of her while chatting, and she felt she should "level with them" and "blend in." We'd started a conversation with a friendly naked couple by the pool when my wife just turned towards a lounge chair behind us, tossed her towel on it; and resumed the conversation completely naked in front of them. By the end of the day she'd almost forgotten she'd stayed naked the rest of the day.

When everyone is nude, it's hard to resist joining in.

[Marginus]

Originally Posted by Kmaxx2525

Has anyone had friendships affected positively or negatively by seeing/being around one another nude?

One example that comes to mind, is when a female friend (I'm male) I'd known for years visited me at a festival. We went to the on-site beach for a swim and I got naked just like always, and just like maybe 80-90% of the others there but my friend wore a one piece swim suit. So it was CFNM rather than her being naked too, but anyway the friendship wasn't negatively affected in any way. We have deeper conversations since that event and are more open towards each other, but everyone's experience will be different of course.

In your situation I'd first make sure that it's a non sexual resort and if so, go for it.

[Erii]

Originally Posted by Marginus

One example that comes to mind, is when a female friend (I'm male) I'd known for years visited me at a festival. We went to the on-site beach for a swim and I got naked just like always, and just like maybe 80-90% of the others there but my friend wore a one piece swim suit. So it was CFNM rather than her being naked too, but anyway the friendship wasn't negatively affected in any way. We have deeper conversations since that event and are more open towards each other, but everyone's experience will be different of course.

In your situation I'd first make sure that it's a non sexual resort and if so, go for it.

That's why bikinis are best. Far more likely for at least topless when all around are nude if the options there.

My wife has got her tits out in front of male friends before, before I knew her. Their relationship is fine. One of them mentions it every now and again. My wife pretends to be shocked. No issues, just a bit if fun.

[tonz42]

Originally Posted by shower1000

We read your story of your exploits on an Adults Only cruise. We assume that your involuntary erection leading to a wife swapping sexual event was part of a previously agreed arrangement with your wife and cousin............................................ .......

Nicely said!

[Kmaxx2525]

Unfortunately, we ended up getting sick with COVID the week we were supposed to go. They went without us and had a good time.

Since then, I've had a chance to read through everyone's advice and it's made my wife and I both much more comfortable.

We have another trip planned now in Dec to a different hot springs resort where clothing is optional at night, and we are sharing a small cabin. Planning to update on anything interesting after the fact.