General questions about this hobby

[Belphegor]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, or if its not allowed. I just had some general questions about ... this. Whatever we do here. Obsessively posting nude scenes and exchanging pictures and videos and yada yada yada. For years this has been "my lifestyle" and I've never put much thought into what it is, why I do it, etc.

So I had some questions for the community here.

1. Is it "bad" that we devote this much time to fetish/pornography?
2. Would you guys say you have normal, healthy, social/sex lives?

I know I personally am a social-loser, I couldn't seduce a woman even if she was a monkey and I was a banana farmer. The general consensus on the internet seems to be the less interaction a man has with real women, the more he will invest into porn. The idea being a socially healthy man is too busy sleeping with real-world women to maintain a hard drive full of videos.

and most importantly

3. Do you guys ever "burn out" on this content? Like after collecting 10+ TB of videos, do you feel nothing excites you. Nothing turns you on. Every fetish, every kink, etc. has been exhausted?

[~*ghetto_star*~]

Originally Posted by Belphegor

1. Is it "bad" that we devote this much time to fetish/pornography?

I would not say it's bad, I would simply say that if your viewing of pornography is starting to interfere with your ability to function as a normal person, then you should stop and seek help, likewise seek help if you've found yourself viewing or seeking especially tasteless pornography.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

2. Would you guys say you have normal, healthy, social/sex lives?

Yes, I've had plenty of partners, I've had plenty of sex, and I've pretty much done almost everything legally allowed under the sun except wife-sharing because not I'm married. I still go on dates and hang with friends at the same time, I'm in my late 30s sometimes I just want to relax alone for a while and just enjoy some porn, masturbate, and clear my head.

Also, the pandemic did cause me to scale things back socially and spend more time at home, for example, I've been a member of OneClickChicks for 18 years, yet the bulk of my posts have come after 2020.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

3. Do you guys ever "burn out" on this content? Like after collecting 10+ TB of videos, do you feel nothing excites you? Nothing turns you on. Every fetish, every kink, etc. has been exhausted?

I've experienced porn "burnout" before but I managed it by only sticking with women or fetishes I like and not going down the "rabbit holes" because those porn-based "rabbit holes" might be enjoyable but they are major time sinks and they can drain you emotionally and even physically. You have to police yourself in that regard because "burnout" mixed with porn withdrawal is b*tch to try to get over.

Also, stop being down on yourself, you're not a social loser. You can enjoy porn for what it is and still have healthy relationships with women but the truth is you have to be honest with yourself. Change and improve things about yourself that you know you're not comfortable with and embrace your quirks, abilities, and talent but you gotta stick with it and you gotta get out and touch grass. Soon you'll be having healthy social, platonic, sexual, and romantic relationships with women but it starts with you.

[Tomwdrake]

I've been having similar thoughts as Belphegor lately.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

1. Is it "bad" that we devote this much time to fetish/pornography?

I've found that I have to assign a time limit to this. Currently I limit to 1 hour per day. I usually only get that hour on weekends. The reason is there's always more content and I was finding that if left alone it will consume my day. I'm old, so I can't really masturbate all day but I would still collect porn. This didn't seem healthy.

I also had to decide NEVER to spend money on porn. I've broken that rule a couple times but only for minor amounts and a really good reason.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

2. Would you guys say you have normal, healthy, social/sex lives?

Yes but I'm old and I'm in a relationship with another old person who wants sex about 1/10th as much as I do. When I was young though, porn did not seem to interfere with relationships or sex, except with women who would find out about it and become offended. I've only had a few partners but they were long term. My current partner doesn't care but also doesn't know the details of the fetishes.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

3. Do you guys ever "burn out" on this content? Like after collecting 10+ TB of videos, do you feel nothing excites you. Nothing turns you on. Every fetish, every kink, etc. has been exhausted?

Yes, on specific things. Like I used to collect GGW vids. There are a lot, and they're all the same, and I burned out on it. I lost my collection in a HD crash and realized later that I didn't miss it.

If you think you're socially inept, there are women out there who are also socially inept. But you be yourself. If you don't want to have a relationship with real women and just want to experience sex through porn, that's your business.

[chuckfinly]

[QUOTE=Belphegor;3280039]Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, or if its not allowed. I just had some general questions about ... this. Whatever we do here. Obsessively posting nude scenes and exchanging pictures and videos and yada yada yada. For years this has been "my lifestyle" and I've never put much thought into what it is, why I do it, etc.

So I had some questions for the community here.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

1. Is it "bad" that we devote this much time to fetish/pornography?

That is very subjective and somewhat based on your moral code. Assuming you have no moral issue with it then it becomes like anything else in life. Too much can become unhealthy and affect your life in a negative way. There have been times in my life where that has been work and or the ranch (both kind of work I guess). I have been dealing with PTSD for a couple years now and I realized I was putting unhealthy amounts of attention into the ranch especially to avoid interacting with people and push my demons out of my head. Refusing to face my issues only made things worse. I still have my moments but I am doing much better.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

2. Would you guys say you have normal, healthy, social/sex lives?

I know I personally am a social-loser, I couldn't seduce a woman even if she was a monkey and I was a banana farmer. The general consensus on the internet seems to be the less interaction a man has with real women, the more he will invest into porn. The idea being a socially healthy man is too busy sleeping with real-world women to maintain a hard drive full of videos.

To answer question #2, I believe that I overall do have a healthy social/sex life especially historically speaking and I am getting back to what I would consider one. I want to avoid the word "normal" because this can mean something different for everyone. I do not have a massive body count like some on here claim to have but I never have had trouble getting a woman (being a cowboy and firefighter probably doesn't hurt). I have usually gone for quality over quantity. I have not done some of the out there wild things many on here claim to have done, but I have had some awesome experiences. After my son got stabbed by a tweaker here illegally, I neutralized the attacker, and we were having to deal with the aftermath and medical stuff for our son, my wife and I had a bit of a dry spell. This was the trigger for the PTSD even though it has more to do with things I have dealt with on the job. I even considered an affair with another firefighter during this time but did not do it. I am dealing with my shit and we are working through things. It is not easy and I just have to man up and take care of business.

You need to take an honest look at yourself and ask yourself what makes you what you would consider to be a "social loser". I will tell you right now that if you consider yourself to be a loser, everyone else will as well. I am a bit type A and have a lot of self confidence (or at lease portray having it even when I don't feel it) and it carries me through a lot. You are going to have rejections, and that is ok. Just move on to the next. Do not be over eager or needy. That is not attractive to a woman. If you are struggling with some mental issues, get some help. I never in a million years would have thought I would talk to someone even a few years ago but my department made me do it and then I went willingly and it helped. Our issues and lifestyles sound drastically different but just remember it is not a sign of weakness to seek help. It took me almost 40 years to learn that. My great grandpa, grandpa, and probably even my father would call me a pussy for getting help but you know what? Fuck them. They treated people like shit and everyone in their families, that worked for them, and even the local government leaders were all afraid of them (especially great grandpa and grandpa... they always kind of considered my dad a pussy and looked to me as the future of the family patriarchy). You need to get yourself fixed before you are going to have a lot of success with the ladies.

Originally Posted by Belphegor

and most importantly

3. Do you guys ever "burn out" on this content? Like after collecting 10+ TB of videos, do you feel nothing excites you. Nothing turns you on. Every fetish, every kink, etc. has been exhausted?

I may not be the right person to ask this as I suspect I am very atypical for this site. First of all I do not have nearly that kind of collection. I also rarely in my life have jacked off. I can't quite explain what draws me to this. I enjoy it and certain things turn me on but I do not need it to get off. I have a couple kinks that I guess could be called fetish but not a bunch of dark rabbit holes. I am a bit of a voyeur I guess which probably comes from growing up in a super strict conservative household where there was no nudity nor really any talk about sex and no tv or movies allowed that had sex scenes in them. I mean heavy kissing in movies was even pretty much taboo until much later. I have a bit of a fetish for pee which I think stemmed from more of a curiosity originally. Not "water sports" but just seeing a female peeing. I remember growing up on the ranches I would always try to catch a female cousin or aunt peeing in the back country. Then there is lactation and pregnancy which was not even on my radar until my wife was pregnant with our second. During the first I found breast milk disgusting. My favorite thread on here is the smugmug thread because I get a thrill out of seeing something I am not really meant to see. It is kind of a challenge I enjoy. I do not spend that much time and if I am too busy for a couple days it is ok. I do not think I have ever burnt out but tastes have changed over the years. For example, now I find a 35-45 year old woman more attractive in most cases than an 18 year old girl. All this said though I do not rely on this to get off... If you are so dependent on this that you are having a problem, you probably do need to work on it as I said above. I hope this helps.

[~*ghetto_star*~]

I tend to worry about this place sometimes.

When I see an ever-growing list of people asking for their accounts to be deleted or reading a comment left by an older member who is in poor health almost begging for his account and posts to be deleted before he pasts is upsetting.

I'm guessing the average age of this forum is older than most and there are guys who come here to enjoy some good amateur porn and maybe share a picture of their wives and enjoy the candaulism but then the orgasm wears off and the post-nut clarity happens and then they want to get back to reality and they start deleting their albums and asking the mods to delete their pictures and ultimately asking the admin to delete their accounts.

It's not a criticism, because I've been there and I know what it's like to chase a rush, especially a sexual one and this is why I think some rules here need to be adjusted for the membership we have, we don't have Gen Z's around here, most of this group is older and can govern themselves accordingly and I think changing some rules regarding the time limit on editing and deleting posts would be helpful and giving the option to delete an account to the member would be better for this place.