How do I train my submissive?

[marky11]

Hey guys and gals, I'm writing to you partially in the form of a non-fiction story, describing what is currently happening in my life, but also asking for the advice of some of the more experienced folks out there.

Here's the skinny: I recently met this girl and gave her my phone number after catching up with her and her brother (an old friend, borderline acquaintance) for drinks one night. I suppose it is applicable to say that I am 28 and she is 25, and we both live currently in NYC. Anyway, after many many many texts from her I finally decided to go meet her for a drink one night. She texted me an absurd amount of times in late January, after we met, and February, most of which I was traveling for work. I was responsive to her messages, but constantly giving reasons why I couldn't meet up. It was strange; my feelings at first were that she just had really low self-esteem, as evidenced by the “you don't really want to...blah blah” type texts. But one night mid-week (about 3 weeks ago) she texted me and I agreed to meet her on Friday. She was out with her work friends at a bar in my neighborhood, so I went and actually had a pretty good time. I was already drunk, as I rightfully felt like I would be shooting fish in a barrel, and enjoyed hanging out with her, her girlfriends, and her male co-workers, all of whom had girlfriends and sung her praises to me, even though she was considerably modest and put together and even offered to buy me a drink, which I thought was kind of ridiculous.
After a few drinks I asked her if she wanted to come back to my house and she immediately agreed (as expected). At my house we drank about half a beer before I dispatched with formalities and took her into my bedroom. After we undressed, she immediately asked me if I had a condom. I did, but having just been tested, and being pretty drunk I just responded by asking her if she was clean. She immediately responded that she was sure she was, to which I responded that I was too, telling her that I was not going to use a condom.
She was unshaved, which is extremely rare to find among young women in NYC, as anyone out there who is from NYC could definitely attest to. (A jackpot for me, but also telling in terms of her recent sexual experience.) This, combined with the fact that she was super tight made me think that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I know, I know, this is not an absolute...I'm just sayin'.
Halfway---actually less—through our romp I'm realizing this girl is just horrible at sex. Horrible. I mean worse than just laying there. Imagine that. At a certain point, after realizing that my little tips and suggestions weren't working, I basically told her this. We passed out at this point, and in the morning I woke up to her pawing at my crotch in a really pathetic kind of way. Okay then, I'd love a little morning head.
Sure enough, it was freakin' terrible. Teeth, dry mouth, bad rhythm....again my suggestions didn't seem to help, and needless to say I didn't get off. I mean honestly, after she left I was so sore I had no desire to relieve my blue balls, if I even had any. Since then though she came back one more time and gave me a terrific blowie, claiming to love the taste of cum. She also came back another time and we had great sex, which included me going down on her and fucking her with a finger in her butt, which she admitted to me strangely turned her on. She then flip-flopped about the whole anal issue, but after a few days (moving toward present times now, as I've been away again for a week and a half) she texted me saying that she is now "willing" after having a conversation with her aunt, who I guess convinced her to try it. (She said something like, "she [aunt] is the older sister I never had".)
Over the next couple of days her texts became more and more wanting, and I began to pick up the vibe that she was just a girl who needed to be told what to do—I mean in terms of everything. I'm no psychologist, and I certainly have no idea where these tendencies come from, but I do know people, and I have dabbled in a little D/S stuff before with a couple of freaky girls in college who liked to be tied up, smacked around,... whatever. The thought of causing pain to a woman doesn't necessarily turn me on, but the thought of having a slave, or taking complete ownership of a woman who basically can't say no to anything I want does. Do I think this makes me a lifetime-type dominant? Maybe, maybe not. But in the short term it does turn me on. The possibilities seem endless, including but not limited to threesomes, anal (which she has never done, but has agreed to) etc etc etc.
There seems like a lot more context to provide in order to get the best advice from y'all, but maybe I'll just be answering questions if any of you happy pervs (I mean that in the best possible way, including myself entirely) is kind enough to take an interest in helping me. I really believe that this girl is a sub, and after explicit texting back and forth on the subject she has agreed and “committed” to filling this role. Hell, she is excited by it. The entirety of my experience from this point on consists of what I have read in 50 Shades (yeah, yeah) and a little bit of kink porn. Like I said, the thought of inflicting pain on her doesn't necessarily turn me on, but using it as a means to an ends does. I just know that I have to start slow. Can't just say "You're my slave, now convince your best friend to have a threesome with us." Ya know??? But honestly, I believe that any submissive could be trained to perfection and I want to know how, based on your expert opinions and experiences.
Our texting has becoming progressively more and more elaborate about her "committing" fully to this lifestyle,
"giving up her rights," and basically "being owned" by me, etc etc etc. There was even talk of her signing a contract, which I wrote up during my flight today. Not the best thing to be writing on your laptop in an airport terminal, but hey...
She was supposed to meet me at my house tonight, but she didn't, claiming exhaustion after being out with her coworkers drinking. Our text convo tonight definitely showed my frustration, but after she begged me to forgive her, not hate her, and promised to come to my house directly after work tomorrow, I dialed it back a notch and decided to let it go. That conversation tonight ended with her asking me to punish her for disobeying, and promising that she never would again.

So how do I do this boys and girls? Please. ask me questions if you feel you can help me along on my path! Should I post the little contract I wrote up as well? Help! Thanks in advance for taking an interest. I hope someone out there is reading this and reminiscing about their own such experiences, willing to share the wisdom of their years with me.

M11

[xxxxenophile]

Originally Posted by marky11

So how do I do this boys and girls? Please. ask me questions if you feel you can help me along on my path!
M11

Google "NYC TNG Kink"
Also, join Fetlife dot com

There are many thousands of people in the City that are into this, and can give you direct experience and advice.

As Irulan said in Dune, "A beginning is a delicate time." You can set this girl on a path for life, or ruin her for kinksters everywhere. Do your homework about the responsibilities Doms have to their Subs, and don't abuse her for the sake of abuse. You don't need to rush into the Vasity-level shit right away - give her some time to build up the anticipation and process what she's trying and doing. This is hard to write a comprehensive manifesto about, that you'd actually want to read, but there's a LOT of learned knowledge out there for this.

Good luck!

[marky11]

Originally Posted by xxxxenophile

Google "NYC TNG Kink"
Also, join Fetlife dot com

There are many thousands of people in the City that are into this, and can give you direct experience and advice.

As Irulan said in Dune, "A beginning is a delicate time." You can set this girl on a path for life, or ruin her for kinksters everywhere. Do your homework about the responsibilities Doms have to their Subs, and don't abuse her for the sake of abuse. You don't need to rush into the Vasity-level shit right away - give her some time to build up the anticipation and process what she's trying and doing. This is hard to write a comprehensive manifesto about, that you'd actually want to read, but there's a LOT of learned knowledge out there for this.

Good luck!

Thanks a lot xxxxeno! I will definitely be checking out the NYC TNG group. In the mean time, if you feel like writing that manifesto, or throwing any general advice my way it would be much appreciated. Love the Dune quote too---one of my favorite books!

I'm definitely not looking to rush to the Varsity level stuff, but I would like to get there eventually, know what I mean?

M11

[Fluffykins]

Submissives aren't really my thing, so I had passed this thread by. But having just read it, I've been there too.
I had a girl who enjoyed pain and punishment and would deliberately do something wrong so that I would punish her sexually for doing it. At f irst I just found it weird, then a bit exciting but I began to get sickened by her needs and generalised weirdness, so I let her go.
Here's an example of what J did. We had been in a group of friends together for a couple of years and eventually J became 'my' girl which is when the problems started. We'd make a date; 7 pm at a certain spot. J would not turn up. But then she'd call me about three hours later full of desperate apologies and wanting to come round to say sorry. I was just back from uni and living at home prior to geting a job, so that wasn't possible. So we agreed to meet the next night and she was there this time. But she wanted me to punish her for not turning up previously. She wanted me to spank her. So I did. Not easy in a car, but I did it. And it turned her on terrifically so we fucked in the car.
And that was the start of it. We'd make a date. J would be late or not turn up. Then we'd meet again and she would want me to punish her for standing me up. So I'd beat her, or bite her labia or pull her pubic hair out or twist her nipples etc etc.
After a while I began to realise that she was manipulating me into punishing her. She was deliberately being late or not being there or whatever (even deliberately spilling a drink on me) to get me annoyed so that I would punish her. The harder the better.
Finally, I did get really annoyed with her and I made her bleed. I felt sickened, but she was triumphant - she'd got the extreme reaction she wanted and she had the injuries to prove it.
I couldn't go on, and I ended the relationship. I just found it too depressing having to control her and feed her neurosis all the time. I got a job away, moved and never heard from her again.
So, be prepared.

[4andy4]

Marky
Requesting a punishment this early in the relationship is a little early, but since she knows that she was bad and requested a punishment. [LIST=1]
1. I would have a single chair sitting in the center of a room and as soon as she enters the house tell her to strip and wait for you to return.
2. Return to the room with a bag and tell her to place all of her clothes in the bag. While you sit and watch her
3. Next have her stand in front of you head down and tell you what she did wrong.
4. Have her lay across your knees, making sure a knee is in her lower abdomin / crotch range.
5. Tell to grab the legs of the chair and if she lets go next time they will be tied
6. Tell she has to choose either 20 or 5-5-5, if she chooses 20 give her twenty sound smacks or her ass, if she chooses 5-5-5 give her five hard smacks to each ass check and that on her pussy. (check her wetness)
7. After the spanking she is to stand in the corner nose to walls hands at side legs spread shoulder width for 15 mins.
8. Have a converstion with her about respecting your time and desires and how she is here to take care of them, you do not have to be there the whole 15mins leave the room and make sure she knows that you took the clothes bag.
9. Sit back in the chair and tell her to come and stand if front of you
10. Have her spread her legs and check her wetness
11. Ask if she learned something today continueing to finger her
12. Ask her to describe her sexual experience starting with her first memory (masterbating or with others) continue fingering
13. Ask her specific details about the events. keep fingering reminding her that she needs permission to cum
14. If she makes it for 15 minutes of questioning teller she is a good girl and she may cum for you making her finish herself.
15. Next stand over her and have her give you a blowjob finish on her tits
16 Have her get dress and take her to dinner she is allowed to fix her makeup and hair but not remove your cum. she needs to know if she is good goodthings happen but that you are still in control

[carbilz]

She (not you) can apply to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/realonlineslaves/ This is a group where Mistress Bethany (my Avatar) and I train online cyber slaves. It is a REAL group and she must prove she is real not pics from the net. We have few members but all are 100% submissive to us.