What I'm Thankful For

[HarHarHardyHar]

Not to copy the idea started by "mockme" but I have to tell this.

I'm thankful to be alive, relatively uninjured and not in jail. I got invited to my sister's place for T-day since I am in between wives right now (as usual). The crowd included my sister, her husband and 3 kids, my brother and his gf, my elderly mother, and a couple that live next door to my sister. I had a couple of drinks before I got there and a couple more when I arrived. Not drunk, but a bit of a buzz. My phone beeped and when I checked it I had recieved the picture I posted below (hopefully). It was texted from an "unknown" number. I was puzzled and checked it several times trying to figure out who had sent it. After another drink I slipped out to the back yard to sit in the gazebo hoping the chilly air would bring my buzz down. My sister's oldest daughter soon showed up. She reached in her pocket and said "here, this is for you" and tossed a purple bra to me. It took a minute for me to figure it out. I looked up and said "you sent that?" She giggled and stepped closer. Then she open her jacket showing me her bare breasts. She said "do you like the real thing better?"

To keep this brief, when my brother in law came to find me for dinner he found his daughter topless on her knees with my dick in her mouth. He attacked me screaming that he was going to kill me. Everyone piled out of the house. My BIL was giving me a pretty good beating when the police arrived to find everyone screaming and yelling and my BIL smacking the crap out of me. The police stopped my beating. My sister demanded that I be arrested. As luck would have it my niece turned 18 in September so the police refused to take me into custody. They strongly suggested I leave and I wisely asked for a cab so I avoided DUI as well.

The final score is my BIL has been calling or texting more than 20 times every day since Thursday telling me its not over. My brother informed me that he has offered to assist our BIL in killing or at least maiming me. My sister is trying to get me charged with **** and my mother says I am dead to her. When I got to work my boss said don't even step on the property or he'll have me arrested for trespassing.

As for me, I am resisting the urge to text my niece and see if she will finish what she started. I may have to move - anyone looking for a roommate? How about an invite for Xmas? I think I'm available!

[puffmeoff]

was it worth it?

[HarHarHardyHar]

Hell no dude! As a raging alcoholic horn dog like me it seemed like a good idea at the time, but without a doubt, NO.

[harrythehound]

True what they say - not in your own back yard (or even your BIL's!)

[xxxxenophile]

dude, look at those breasts. If they're fake, the doc did a terrific job. If they're REAL - jeezus, no man could resist. Any lawyer could get you acquitted with them as a defense!

[ev1l0ne]

I have heard of people being shot for less. You have big brass ones if in fact your tale is true.

[HarHarHardyHar]

Originally Posted by ev1l0ne

I have heard of people being shot for less. You have big brass ones if in fact your tale is true.

Thanks, but not big brass ones, big scotch filled ones. As for the story, go to the Prescott, AZ police records and look for a disturbance call around 2:30 pm on T-day.