Limericks

[oralphile]

There was a young girl in Berlin
Who eked out a living through sin
She didn't mind fucking
But much preferred sucking
And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.


There was a young fellow of Buckingham
Wrote a treatise on c*nts and on sucking them
But later this work
Was eclipsed by a Turk
Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them.


A tidy young lady of Streator
Dearly loved to nibble a peter
She always would say
"I prefer it this way
I think it is very much neater."


There once was a jolly old bloke
Who picked up a girl for a poke
He took down her pants
Fucked her into a trance
And then pissed in her shoe for a joke.

[Everard]

To his wife said an old man from Sydenham,
"My trousers! Pray, where have you hydenham?"
I know that they're torn,
Thus shouldn't be worn,
But I foolishly left twenty quydenham."

A chambermaid working in Drogheda
Had a mistress who often annogheda.
Whereupon she would swear
In a language so rare,
That thereafter nobody emplogheda.



And I suspect no-one on t'other side of the Atlantic will get this one:

There once was an old man from Salisbury
Whose morals were Halisbury-Scalisbury.
He wandered round Hampshire
Without any pampshire,
'Til the vicar compelled him to Walisbury.

(The old pronunciation of Salisbury was Sarum, and the abbreviation for Hampshire is Hants.)