This weird woman is harassing me!

[Duran Duran]

Originally Posted by Onestopfuckshop

That advice about curling up and crying and playing the victim only makes it worse..abusers thrive on the weak.

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”

“To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.”

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[pulsarad]

I would use your phone to record conversations between you and the old cair person and the groper and even your probation officer and take them to a lawyer. I would however check if yours is a one-party consent state, most states in the US are.

A lawyer would have a field day with something like this. These people are awful and need to be in jail.

[Loretta 1976]

Originally Posted by pulsarad

I would use your phone to record conversations between you and the old cair person and the groper and even your probation officer and take them to a lawyer. I would however check if yours is a one-party consent state, most states in the US are.

A lawyer would have a field day with something like this. These people are awful and need to be in jail.

I can't report this awful ginger midget woman to the police because i don't want my husband to find out about this. I don't want my husband to found out of this situation with this groper woman. He is going to blame me. The only reason i hesitate to tell my husband about my situation at AA with this woman groper is because of my affair he has lost trust in me. Deep down i would rather be with him and not have him know about that. I don't know what else to do. I feel like he can fully trust me but at the same time, having to regain his trust, however long that takes, at the end of the day I'm not entirely sure if it's worth doing. Since my affair i try to just keep quiet and not annoy him but I feel as if I have lost my husband and our previously close relationship will never be the same. My husband cannot forgive me.

We can have a great day, or a great week, or we can be just okay and getting along and then.... suddenly, out of the blue in my opinion, he's depressed, which causes or turns into anger, and he's lashing out at me, or snide remarks etc. When all I have been doing is being me, living our life, working, being mom, etc, meaning I haven't done anything wrong that day he lashes out on me, or even that week, etc. I just don't think it is fair that if he chose to stay in this relationship and if I am not doing anything wrong, I am being honest and a good wife and mom, I don't think it's fair that he can just be mean over something that happened 5 years ago that I cannot erase! I can never take it back, we can only move forward or really on be in today. I so desperately want to be able to help my husband heal but I am not sure how best to go about it. Am I doing the right things? I know I did wrong and people are right to judge me. He says he does still love me and wants to be with me. I do blame myself, I am the root of the cause and the problem. I am fully aware of that. It hurts and it sucks, it hurts him the most.

[crazyhorse91]

I agree with pulsarad. You need to speak to a lawyer. This is sexual harassment pure and simple. Your teacher or whatever you call her is enabling the freckle face.

[Onestopfuckshop]

If you are weak and you show yourself to be even weaker..your enemy can have a field day!

Sounds like you fell for a bad boy that you couldn't resist ..did he talk dirty to you..pull your hair ..spank you..things your husband didn't do? Did you do things you don't normally do with your husband? And is this making husband angry apart from the affair itself?

How old is your daughter? Could he have doubts that she is his?

5 years ago was the affair.. .hmm not that long ago...resentment is a real b*tch that takes a long time to get rid of..trust not gonna b the same

[bahls_h]

You should complain to local AA intergroup. They wouldn't like the way you're being treated. I'm in AA and we know that some people have to come for court purposes, I've never seen anyone harassed. And why do you have to attend a female only group? Fulfill you're obligation in another open and large meeting.

I'm surprised you're having to attend so many meetings based on one DUI, you sure there's no other legal history with alcohol incidents?

[Loretta 1976]

Originally Posted by Onestopfuckshop

If you are weak and you show yourself to be even weaker..your enemy can have a field day!

Sounds like you fell for a bad boy that you couldn't resist ..did he talk dirty to you..pull your hair ..spank you..things your husband didn't do? Did you do things you don't normally do with your husband? And is this making husband angry apart from the affair itself?

How old is your daughter? Could he have doubts that she is his?

5 years ago was the affair.. .hmm not that long ago...resentment is a real b*tch that takes a long time to get rid of..trust not gonna b the same

My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have a 14year old daughter! It was an four month affair from March 2013 until July 2013, and my husband and I were already talking about divorce, but he didn’t know I was having an affair.

I realized one day that I wanted to stay with my husband and that I did love him more than anything. I told the other guy that it was over.I told him that my family is too precious to lose and that I can't sleep with him anymore. I told the other guy that it was over and that I was going to confess all to my husband. I confessed to my husband. This guy, my affair partner, moved to another state in December 2013.

My husband wants to know all the details about everything, how many times we had sex, what other acts we did, where did we go, how big the other guy was, did I like it, did I orgasm, etc. Five years later he still asks all these things.

That was a very shameful time of my life, and I have blocked a lot of things, things I said to my husband, and feelings that I had toward the guy I cheated with, my feelings at the time. All I want to do is forget all of it but I can’t because my husband still has not moved past it.

I feel that I have done everything I can to try and rebuild his trust in me, to show not just say that I regret and will never do anything like that again, to show him that I love him and he is the most important person in my life. He still has hurt feelings and brings the affair up every few weeks, for the last 5 years.

I respond to him when he talks about it and asks questions, and I do my best to empathize with his feelings and reassure him that I love him and will be here for him even though there was a period when I was not. Nothing helps. I don’t know what I can do to help him through this. It has been 5 years, and this is still a massive wall in between us that I want to tear down, but he doesn’t seem to be able to allow it. He still cannot stop bringing it up.

[Onestopfuckshop]

People can forgive but cant forget..human nature to also want to know why someone was chosen over them.

4 Months is small compared to 16 years..but by itself..still a long time..16 weeks/112 days..!.not like it was a one night stand.

Whatever the reasons you chose him over your husband they were strong enough to have pushed you to the point of divorce and 16 weeks of sex with another dude..

And your husband knows that. So until he knows the reasons...he will never be quite sure if you wont do it again.It might not be a full blown affair but...Even a 1 night stand or kiss/bj might still be possible in his mind.

Another issue is whether he should have stuck around. Another discussion for another day.

Good luck on both ends.

[themutt]

don't buy it

[Loretta 1976]

Originally Posted by bahls_h

You should complain to local AA intergroup. They wouldn't like the way you're being treated. I'm in AA and we know that some people have to come for court purposes, I've never seen anyone harassed. And why do you have to attend a female only group? Fulfill you're obligation in another open and large meeting.

I'm surprised you're having to attend so many meetings based on one DUI, you sure there's no other legal history with alcohol incidents?

The only reason i still attend meetings at the same AA all female group is my husband doesn’t want me round other guys and i can’t tell him about this problem because he will say it’s my fault? Because of my affair my husband has lost trust in me. I don't want to go to mixed gender meetings. Within my region this is the only all female AA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. So my husband is quite possessive and gets jealous very easily - if I look at another guy on he gets angry and says that I'm staring at other guys. I might look which is only natural but I don't look at anyone else 'like that' if you get me. I have an overwhelming amount of attention from men. As long as I remember….I've attracted men like crazy. Usually, it's always lust is why they are so drawn to me.

Four months ago I got cited for DUI with my daughter in the car when I bumped the car in front of mine coming to a stop. I blew high, and had a prior (with test refused) about 3 years ago, otherwise clean. I am not dependent on alcohol. I am required to go to 3 AA meetings a week for a year. ANYONE who has even had just a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and gotten behind the wheel of a car, can get a DUI. It is a myth that only "alcoholics" get DUIs. It can happen to anyone who ever drinks alcohol and drives. This woman chair person thinks that i am on a well deserved probation. Also this woman chair person is respected and well liked in the AA community on a regional level. She does have power over me. She can muck things up for me with my probation officer. The pressure this woman chair person is putting on me is really starting to stress me. She says I am not showing the neccessary commitment. She is pressuring me to go to meetings every day. This woman chair person tries to be friendly more and more, and this is stressful for me. This woman chair person signs my attendance sheets. Also my probation officer calls her(chair person) to verify my attendance? I am too scared to be dishonest about the attendance though.

I can drive with an ignition interlock device. I have to keep the ignition interlock for a total of 12 months. The device cost less than 200 dollars to have installed. The monthly cost is 65 dollars and it cost 20 dollars per month to have it recalibrated. I am responsible for returning the old device each month which costs 3 dollars. But, at least i can legally drive, and for that, i am grateful. .

I am mocked by this ginger groper awful midget woman for taking pride in wanting to look nice. I have received many comments from this woman ginger and other women group members such as, “You must have 5 closets at home,” etc. Also ginger often says to me that i am a stuck up overdressed rich stupid giant cow. She is rude and nasty towards me. I just feel like she is putting me down in front of other women group members and treating me like I am inferior. She is very sarcastic. She always comments on my clothes. She says that i wear too much make up and that i am always overdressed in flashy fancy clothes. This hideous woman ginger calls me stupid rich stuck up overdressed giant cow. I hate this because I feel like I am an easy target. This awful woman ginger seems to feel the need to constantly grope me. When she wants to interact with me, normally instead of speaking to me she'll walk up, and grab my boobs or ass straight off the bat. She is always grabbing my breasts, grabbing my butt and just rubbing on me in some way. I am standing and she walks up behind me and literally both of her hands are on my breasts and she is squeezing them , basically holding me tight to the point where I can barely move, and then as she lets go squeezes my butt. She constantly jiggles my breasts. She rubs my boobs and she comments on my boobs being squishy and soft. Also she pats and rubs my ass.

This is further underscored by the victim-blaming behavior of the other female participants in my AA group who should be my allies. It is bizarre because i am 5ft10 tall,curvy,well endowed,well built and always on high heels standing next to this old short skinny woman ginger i look like a giant.Because of that I am not taken seriously by other women AA group participants.Also this weird woman ginger doesn't look threatening. She is masculine, creepy and ugly but she is tiny,short and skinny older woman. .

Also i go on these AA meetings straight from work and i am always exhausted. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work.