The Great Bride Thread

[osreb]

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her

father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her

father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him

to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced 'Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my

life.' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and

continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to

me.'

The whole audience including priest started laughing.......... but not

the poor groom!
__________________

[madahab]

Originally Posted by osreb

I came across this pic of an Asian bride in a ritual bath before her wedding.
I tried searcheing for simular pics; but found none.
Anyone have any simular pics or links - I would appreciate you passing them on to me.

beautiful pic but if i'm not mistaken that's bjork.

[osreb]

for teh bride thread

[osreb]

But everybody looks funny naked!
You woke me up for that?
Did I mention the video camera?
Try breathing through your nose.
A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
Do you get any premium movie channels?
Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
I want a baby!
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
You look younger than you feel.
Perhaps you're just out of practice.
What are you planning to make for breakfast?
I have a confession..
This would be more fun with a few more people..
You're almost as good as my ex!

[vinchinzo]

Great post....where can I find more from this set? The brunette's thighs are amazing! (though it looks more like one of those themed college parties rather than an actual wedding prep)

[osreb]

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem

"Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist." - James Garner

"Women complain about sex more than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: 1. Not enough; 2. Too much." - Ann Landers

"Both of my ex-wives closed their eyes when making love, because they didn't want to see me having a good time." - Joseph Wambaugh

"Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." - Woody Allen

" I told someone I was getting married, and they said, 'Have you picked a date yet?' I said, 'Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country!" - Yakov Smirnoff

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?" - Alan Jay Lerner

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them." - Ogden Nash

"I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out, 'To Whom It May Concern." - Mickey Rooney

[osreb]

does a photo strip

[osreb]

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

a "Don't remind me again" button
a Minimize button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bug Warning
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

Bug work-arounds: To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support Suggestions
These are very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support

[osreb]

Skipping the white wedding dress is one thing. Skipping the dress altogether is quite another - and I don’t mean “wearing pants.” As you can well imagine, planning a nudist wedding has a unique set of challenges, but if you’re committed to your nudist lifestyle, or if your dream is to have a really different walk down the aisle, just face the obstacles head on and stick to your decision. Unless both you and your betrothed come from a long line of nudists, expect a multitude of hang-ups to have a profound effect on your potential wedding party and guest list. When you’re both certain a nudist wedding is what you want, and you can handle the consequences, go all out! Here are some tips and suggestions for the novice nudist to help you plan:

Make it abundantly clear on your invitations that you’re having a nudist wedding. (Remember Aunt Beulah’s bad heart…) Permit your attendants and guests to come with or without clothing as long as they are not passing judgment on your or any of your nude attendants and guests.
Remember - even if clothing is optional, there’s no guarantee all your family and friends will attend or agree to be in your wedding party. Some will be offended, some will find it funny and some will truly admire your choice. It’s best not to invite people who don’t know you well. Prepare for a small wedding.
Don’t invite children. If you invite a single person, don’t feel compelled to include “and guest” on the invitation.
If you want an outdoor wedding, pick a location that’s warm and private.
Research venues for your wedding ceremony and reception. Find a place that accommodates both the ceremony and the reception so you won’t have to worry about transportation from one place to another. A venue that caters to only one wedding at a time is best. Make sure the staff is comfortable with nudity. (You don’t want hot soup spilled in anyone’s lap!) Consider a nearby nudist colony (there are some gorgeous nudist resorts!) or a nudist church (yes, they do exist!)
Hire a photographer who has experience with nudes. Ask for examples of his or her work. Make sure the photographer and/or videographer will be trustworthy, respectful and comfortable in your setting. Depend on your guests to provide the candid shots by placing disposable, pink cameras on your reception tables. Trust me - everyone will want copies of your wedding album.
How to handle erections? Try not to. Hopefully they’ll go away on their own. Seriously - have towels or some type of cover-up available on the chair backs or somewhere else nearby. It’s incumbent upon you to make sure your guests are not put in an embarrassing spot. Remember - you’re putting the “barrass” in “embarrassing.”
Have fun at your wedding. Wear a veil. Wear a garter. Tape a boutonničre to your chest. Dance your first dance to Avril Lavigne’s Naked (Excerpt from lyrics: “I’m naked around you, and it feels so right.” If you’re uptight, your guests will notice, and it will defeat the entire purpose of your choice.
Give your guests a meaningful memento of your (and their) unforgettable event. There are adorable wedding favors that your guests will love taking home, like “The Perfect Pair” Pear Kitchen Timer. How about the “Cocktails, Anyone?” Martini Glass Gel Candle? Fill the “Unexpected Treasures” Favor Tin with your favorite goodie.
Clearly, you believe that the naked human body is to be accepted, respected, cherished and enjoyed. You believe it is not inherently shameful, corrupting, degrading or dangerous and, most important, you’re comfortable with your naked bodies regardless of size, shape and unique attributes. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be considering a nudist wedding. At the same time, resist making a political statement. Weddings are happy events, full of life, love and fun - with a good time had by all. And that’s the naked truth!

[osreb]

are sexy brides