Under The influence

[hotlicks]

Everyone loves drunk chicks...literaly

[zipflash2001]

... one of the morning after and the other of some friendly females at play!

[MrPostMan]

think she's had too much?

[osreb]

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.


SYMPTOM: Drink unusually pale and tasteless
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION Get someone to buy you another drink.

S: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
F: You have fallen over backward.
A: Have yourself leashed to the bar.

S: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
F: You have fallen forward.
A: See above.

S: Floor blurred.
F: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
A: Get someone to buy you another drink.

S: Floor moving.
F: You are being carried out.
A: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

S: Room seems unusually dark.
F: Bar has closed.
A: Confirm home address with bartender.

S: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
F: Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
A: Cover mouth.


S: Drink is crystal-clear.
F: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
A: Punch him.

S: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
F: You've wandered into the wrong party.
A: See if they have free alcohol.

S: Your singing sounds distorted.
F: The drink is too weak.
A: Have more alcohol until your voice improves.

S: Don't remember the words to the song.
F: Drink is just right.
A: Play air guitar.

[osreb]

...gonna regret it

[aargh]

Liquid goes in, top goes up...

[osreb]

girl falls down,

girl skins her knees,

girl on couch trying to heal,

girl is written on,

Am am sure all of the above ocured while she is under the influence,

[jr8x]

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/atta...7&d=1213500156


oh so sexy!!

[osreb]

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....
Scared the shit out of me.�
So that's it!
After today, no more reading.

[osreb]

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENESS

Stage 1 - CLEVER

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always
right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong.

This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.



Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVE

This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you.

Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.



Stage 3 - RICH


This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage because of course you are still
CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH.

You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present.



Stage 4 - INVINCIBLE


You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as well as being INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.




Stage 5 - INVISIBLE


This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything, because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason.

You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you.

You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words.