I love you, funny face!

[Fox Mulder]

1. Just in time for the NFL playoffs... after a few years off and that controversial surgery in Copenhagen... tanned, rested and ready...BRET FAVRE is back with the Pack!!
2. Touchdown? Nah...she's just so happy her breasts are ample enough to be considered bra breakers.
3. Tired of bullies kicking sand in your face at the beach? Charles Atlas recommends a new AK-47 assault rifle. (America has really changed...)
4. "COLLEGE" Yup...this is about how I remember it!
5. Gina failed her audition for the role of "Supergirl" but she vows to continue her acting career.
6. Well, you finally gave your wife what she really wanted for Christmas...and you got to watch for hours as the joy spread all over her face...(along with, in the end, Darnel's hot and plentiful semen) Wasn't this holiday season simply magical?
7. "Excuse me...did you just lose this?" ( I think we all did )

[Fox Mulder]

1. Idiot! You were just about to get the blowjob of your life...but you just had to make a comment about how hot her little sister is!
2. How Prudence and Chastity discovered that Sindee, their college dorm roommate, was a nymphomaniac.
3. Make the mistake of falling asleep around Mike and Dave and you're likely to get The Dicks Out Dance.
4. Some people are a little more interesting to go camping with than others.
5. Don't you think she makes for a more convincing frog than Kermit?
6. Medical experts agree...when the summer temperatures rise, you need a cold drink and a hot pussy.
7. "Lover? Before you return to your room in your mom's basement, could you please do your Jar Jar Binks imitation for me just one more time?"
( Fanboy's have funny dreams)
8. Is it just me? Or do you think she kinda likes you. (It's probably just me)
9. This is what happens when you read the uncensored version of "Jonathan Livingston Seagull." (Someone get her a towel)
10. Bambi, (who works down at the comic shop) is a saint. She considers it her duty to give all Fanboys an opportunity to say they've at least SEEN real women's breasts. ( If you can do a good Jar Jar Binks imitation she'll let you touch them!)

[Fox Mulder]

1. "I swear, Donna! It was a flying saucer with little green men...and it landed right over there! They said they're here to take all our unmated females! We have to look like a couple to save you! Quick, blow me!" ( Nick is imaginative, but largely unsucessful with ladies)

3. "I'm going to feed you to 'The Creature From The Black Lagoon' if you don't blow me!" (Nick's little brother is much more aggressive. He's also an idiot. These women know their movies. They know they're actually at The Blue Lagoon)
4. If you're lonely on a Friday night, you can always hang around the house with your ass in the air like a cat in heat, but that'll do you no good if you live alone.
5. Trump's new energy policy involves more titilating ways to mine fossil fuels.
6. Pussy juice and semen is actually very bad for the felt on pool tables. It's expensive to replace. If you own the table, fuck her on the floor.
7. No! Wait! Don't do it! The thread's not that bad...is it?

[Fox Mulder]

1 On Saturday night, all masturbating blonds can ride the metro bus system free of charge. ( By order of the Paternal Transit Authority)
2. You sir, apparently will be "going down."
3. When it comes to taking facials, no one can hold a candle to Veronica. Uh...wait a minute. Hmmm. It looks like someone can!

[Fox Mulder]

1. "Yeah...I'm walking around topless in my panties. Put it back in your pants and get over it, Pervo!" (The women of I Love You Funny Face get kinda pissy this time of year)
2. "POLICE! YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME! I'M SURROUNDED BY VISCIOUS FERAL DOGS!" ( They're also prone to exaggeration)
3. "Hey buddy! Do you think I need a boob job?" ( Insecurity coupled with no sense of public shame)
4. Isn't it sweet that Boris Karloff's grandkids keep their granddad's picture above the fireplace?
5. THE LEAST of the trauma in the aftermath of THIS little fiasco is that my son no longer believes in Santa Claus. Single Dads: Always make sure the kids are asleep before you invite your lover over for a Christmas Eve quickee!
6. This is Julie, the insatiable nymphomaniac football groupie. SHE is the reason the Buffalo Bills lost those consecutive Super Bowls.
7. "Honey, feel free to check out all those travel brochures...but I can clearly see EXACTLY where I want to go!" ( It's warm there too!)
8. "OK...I've thought it over. I pick YOU to come over here and lick my hot little pussy!" ( It's a nice winter fantasy, Wankers. Just go with it)
9. This was the only way we could keep her from making her mother's awful tuna loaf recipe on New Year's Day. (Some traditions deserve to die)
10. "You sir, are a ruthless rapscallion and a deceitful scoundrel! I fling my panties in your general direction in abject disgust! For all of your shameless philandering and callous thoughtlessness, I condemn you to an evening of solitary slumber upon the dangerously narrow and wholly uncomfortable couch!" (Drama Queen)

[Fox Mulder]

Do you remember the 70s? It was a time when women actually grew on trees and every one of them was more than happy to give you head. You just had to walk up and find an open mouth! You younger guys look skeptical. If you don't believe me, go ask your dads.

[Fox Mulder]

I NOW HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO PUT CAPTIONS DIRECTLY ON THE PICTURES. IT'S ACTUALLY EASIER AND MAY RESULT IN BETTER JOKES AS I WON'T HAVE TO INVENT CAPTIONS ON THE FLY. DO PEOPLE PREFER THIS? IF YOU DO, JUST HIT THE "THANKS" BUTTON. IF YOU DON'T, COMMENT HERE OR PM ME. THANKS!

Mulder

[Fox Mulder]

Your parents, grandparents and even dead people all used to do funny stuff.

[Fox Mulder]

OK...people seem to be fine with the captions ON the pictures and it's certainly easier for me, so that's what I'll do from now on. Enjoy.

[Fox Mulder]

Might as well smile