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Our forum has over 13 million
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Our forum has over 13 million
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uploaded by our members!
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#611
10-01-2010, 07:36 PM
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THE DOCTOR
Because he says " Take your clothes off" THE DENTIST Because he says "OPEN WIDE" THE HAIRDRESSER Because he says " Do you want it teased or blown" THE MILKMAN Because he says "Do you want it in the front or the back" THE INTERIOR DECORATOR Because he says " Once its in you'll love it" THE SHARE BROKER Because he says "It will rise gradually and maintain its peak for long-long time" THE BANKER Because he says "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest" THE HUNTER Because he "Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots" THE TELKOM GUY Because he says "Would you like it on the table or against the wall" And the MOST ANNOYING is FATHER CHRISTMAS The idiot only comes ONCE a year 
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#612
10-02-2010, 10:56 PM
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perhapes pic 1 is how babes should use a mouse to avoid carpel tunnel...
And in the above post; the lead in line was omitted. It should be: 10 most important men in a woman's life.
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#613
10-03-2010, 11:21 PM
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FOOTBALL TRUTHS ...
(1) What does the average Univ. of Florida player get on his SATs? ........Drool. (2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room? ........A full set of teeth. (3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room? ........Grease her hips and push. (4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch? .........Pay him for the pizza. (5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend? ......There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup. (6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum? ....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. (7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Longhorn football player's life? ........His freshman year. (8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? ........None. That's a sophomore course. (9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco? ....... Durham , North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner. 10. How do you keep an FSU football player out of your front yard? ....................Erect a goal post! AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal clash)..... (11) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color? ........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week. --
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#614
10-04-2010, 09:08 PM
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Top Ten Country Western Songs.
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few 8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin' 6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win 5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here 4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him 3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger 2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer And the Number One Country & Western song is... 1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day __._,_.___
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#615
10-05-2010, 10:33 PM
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Boudreaux quit drinking, took a bath, quit chasing women, quit his poker games and laying around. Suddenly he was cutting the grass around the church; even painted it and was faithful to be first to attend on Sundays. Father asked him what brought about the wonderful change that had come over him.
Boudreaux explained, “ I heard Cris'is in the Gulf and if He’s this close I want to be ready”.
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#616
10-06-2010, 09:41 PM
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The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'. The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?' The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
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#617
10-07-2010, 09:55 PM
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A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner..
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'. The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longerrrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!' Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!' * Last edited by Fango; 10-08-2010 at 01:09 AM.
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#618
10-08-2010, 06:17 PM
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The Lonely Brain Cell
Once upon a time there was
A female brain cell which, By mistake, happened To end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously Because it was all empty And quiet. 'Hello?' She cried, but no answer. 'Is there anyone here?' She cried a little louder, But still no answer. Now the female brain cell Started to feel alone and scared. So she yelled at the top Of her voice, 'HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?' Then she heard a faint voice From far, far away.... 'We're down here .'
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#619
10-09-2010, 09:33 PM
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Why is it...? (pic 1)
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#620
10-10-2010, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Beautiful woman. Any more of her? Thanks Fango
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| Tags |
| ppe, prank, tricked |
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