The Great Bride Thread

[osreb]

Gratuitous Male Bashing



1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

5. WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS
(because they don't have penises to put them in)

6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
(they're intended for children, but men usually play with them)

7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their asses and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

8. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

9. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

10. WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?
(so he can tell if he's coming or going)

11. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't
know......it never happened)

12. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH A MAN?
(because breasts don't have eyes)

[shnowballs]

Can anyone tell me when these "getting dressed" photos became an acceptable part of the wedding album?

Don't get me wrong, the practice has brought a LOT of hot photos into the world! But, while wedding night photos taken by the groom (see attached) make perfect sense to me, it strikes me as a bit weird that the brides in these series allow the photographer (who could well be a man) into her space as she hangs around half-naked before getting into her dress.

When/where did it start? Did someone famous do it once and then loads of ladies decided to copy her? Or was it a cheeky photographer who suggested it as an idea to a gullible bride and thus broke the seal?!

If we could find out, it would be cool to find the first ever "bride getting dressed"!

[Fango]

Originally Posted by shnowballs

Can anyone tell me when these "getting dressed" photos became an acceptable part of the wedding album?

Don't get me wrong, the practice has brought a LOT of hot photos into the world! But, while wedding night photos taken by the groom (see attached) make perfect sense to me, it strikes me as a bit weird that the brides in these series allow the photographer (who could well be a man) into her space as she hangs around half-naked before getting into her dress.

When/where did it start? Did someone famous do it once and then loads of ladies decided to copy her? Or was it a cheeky photographer who suggested it as an idea to a gullible bride and thus broke the seal?!

If we could find out, it would be cool to find the first ever "bride getting dressed"!

I've been wondering the same things myself. But I certainly ain't complaining. Great pics, BTW.

Thanks

Fango

[osreb]

2 sets of dressing brides - note the undies on the table of pic 1

************************************************** **
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling,
and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she
takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and
brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she
know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob,
starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken
him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4
letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real b*tch this time.'

BOB's funeral will be on Friday.

[osreb]

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing,
her four-year-old son comes up and says, 'Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in
your closet and she's got no clothes on!'


The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom,
right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her
sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

'You rotten B ** ch', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide
and seek with the kids!!'

[osreb]

b*tches 'til the End! Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order..."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini."
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS ."
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?"
"Because I don't want any of those b*tches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, "Putting Your Affairs In Order."


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

[osreb]

The Moods of a Woman

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,

She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.

Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,

She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,

At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad

[osreb]

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf… Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors… I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I sai! d,
'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[osreb]

Bride wears vail but no gown

[Broadway J]

Nice one. These brides aren't nearly as naked, but just as sexy

***** WATERMARKED PICS REMOVED *****