I love you, funny face!

[Fox Mulder]

1. When everything on the TV sucks shit...
2. And handjobs seem ho hum...
3. You can play games with your left tit..
4. Or stick your finger in your bum.
5. You can search your bod for insect pests
6. Or do a homemade pregnancy test (if the rabbit dies...)
7. You can make your guy cum in his own face... (for a change)
8. Or kiss an astronaut from an alien race
9. You can look out the window at all the snow...
10. Or expose yourself to the postman...Doh!

Or you can just surf porn and wank. (You have to assume the sunny scenes are from Florida)

[Fox Mulder]

1.( More naked women and cows...) When you live out on a farm you learn about sex from watching the animals...kinda...
2. Obviously she was looking to get boned.
3. Finally, Little Jimmy caught his grandma in a perfectly black-mail-able situation. This photo means cookies and ice cream for-EVER!
4. No more wars. No more terror. This is how all future human conflicts will be solved if I'm elected Supreme Leader of Earth.
5. "Agent K23...once your nail polish dries, nail the Polish agent outside the embassy." (Ahhh...The English language in print)
6. Star Wars nerds will do just about anything for free tickets to The Force Awakens.
7. Maybe later we can build a snowman. We'll pretend that he is...very horny.
8. Dildo baseball fever...catch it.
9. Ben thought she had a thing for pilots...nope...she just really loved airplanes.
10."Uh...honey...I think the entire forum at OCC is...watching us!" (Obviously Jill has never been an Internet porn star before.)

[Fox Mulder]

1. Never take a nude selfie after failing a physics final and a pregnancy test on the same day.
2. Do you think we're alone in the universe? Betty doesn't think so. She's an extraterrestrial exhibitionist.
3. "C'mon man! Can't I even pee without having a dick in my mouth?" ( Sometimes a nymphomaniac's life isn't all it's cracked up to be.)
4. "Game of Thrones" is over. Time to get medieval on her ass.
5. Kangaroo convenience stores offer a three cents a gallon discount for paying cash...and a dollar a gallon discount for flashing ass.
6. Conspicuous product placement in a porn humor thread.
7. A member of the I Love You Funny Face Exhibitionist protection program.
8. Another conspicuous product placement? Nah...just conspicuous consumption.
9. "We surrender!" (Tee hee...giggle giggle) 1950's women had an odd sense of humor. Me too.
10. After the zombie apocalypse, where all the good looking people were eaten...the survivors of the human race pose for a group shot in San Francisco.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

Another Star revelation...

We've found the picture that inspired George Lucas to create the character Nien Nunb!

[Fox Mulder]

1. Taking surprise pictures of your girlfriend on the toilet is hilarious...until it isn't.
2. Your wife seeks her girlfriend's approval for just about everything. It appears you've once again passed muster.
3. Nymphomaniac toothbrush.
4. The man who fell to Earth from the Red Planet just happened to land on the nude beach. Earth should get high marks in his report.
5. When she was a kid, Nancy feared the Boogie Man in her closet. Now, he's afraid of her!
6. Yeah, you think you need these don't you? Think again, Tiny. Think again.
7. "Why for did you push me in da cold, cold pool?" ( She needs a boyfriend with a better sense of humor)
8. Never fall asleep at a nymphomaniac's house.
9. First indication that the restroom facilities at the University are inadequate.
10. Becky's mother warned her that marrying a dedicated realtor might become an ordeal.

[wildfire54]

There's a time to work.And a time to relax.

1.Bonny,for instance.Was able to combine work and play at the same time.

2.Marshall was of course field testing his penis strengthening pill.

3.Tom was busy having another successful test of his X-Ray glasses at an all female tavern.

4.Michael was demonstrating his newly created pool shot. 'Eight Ball in the middle pocket.'

5.While at the Thompson residence. Mr. Thompson was having no problems with the his daughter's sorority sleepover.

[Fox Mulder]

1. "A woman who is really tired...of listening to Donald Trump's political campaign comments."
2. "A woman who is contemplating surgery for her fused-together wrists."
3. "Beyond the Bodacious Tatas...wishing I had more curl in my hair." (We are our own worst critics)
4. "A reminder that my lawn needs to be mowed this weekend."
5. "Some guy, taking a picture of my ass." (And a bunch of other guys wanking over that picture. This means you)
6. "Proof of my multiple personality disorder."
7. "Someone I LOVE...very VERY MUCH! (Get a room!)
8."Two women who forgot the sun screen...again!"
9."A very frightened person who is rethinking Internet blind dating."
10. "That I am totally FUCKED!"

[Fox Mulder]

1. After the alien spacecraft crashed in Roswell in 1947, the US Air Force specially trained an elite group of women to act as bait for abduction. Once aboard the alien space craft, the women were suppossed to observe alien strengths and weaknesses and report their findings. What the Air Force didn't count on was the alien's ability to wipe clean all memories of the abduction experience. Therefore no one ever knew exactly how abductees were brought aboard the alien crafts...
2. Now "I Love you Funny Face" has photo evidence! Aliens apparently can suck women right up into the air by their nipples!
3. Not in the possession of a holy hand grenade, Gillian decides to appease this terrible medieval beast...with a wee bit of shrubbery. (If you don't get this, you are not a Monty Python fan...you poor, unfortunate bastard.)
4. Molly, the plumber's daughter is proud of her PVC dildo.
5. If drunk, stay on your feet or you may find yourself with a two toned dick in your face.
6. Inspired by WW2 flying aces who painted enemy flags on their aircraft fuselages to mark their kills, Fiona the nymphomaniac had her own unique way of keeping score.
7. After being caught red handed attempting to burglarize a homeowner she didn't know was home, to avoid jail, Mary reluctantly agreed to a little arrangement.
8. What's going on here? Nun of your business.
9. "Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?" (Actual photo of Indiana Jones' wife cheating on him)
10. When the aliens are done with them...most suburban housewife abductees have positive things to say about the experience.

[6BEAN9]

Like I said, I am a bit of a nut.

[wwwddd]

And my cock wants to bust a nut all over your beans!!