The Great Bride Thread

[buffermister]

Jees Osreb!

I posted some of your last pics on page 46.

Where's the fresh stuff for us?

[osreb]

We`have almost 50 pages of bride pics and yes several are repost.

I collect them and some I know have been posted so I delete.

But sometimes I don't remeber and don't have time or desire to lok back though the 50 pages
to see if that pic(s) already was posted.

I also err on side of repost - If I have some good pics I post 'em. Would rather have good pics
posted several times rather than have one not posted because in MAY be a repost.

So keep those bride pics coming - lets shoot for 100 pages of bride pics.

Osreb

[buffermister]

Osreb, I was only kidding really. Love bride pics so glad to have someone that feels the same on a board.

[osreb]

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked cigars and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The end

[osreb]

TULANE STUDY

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by Tulane's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a
woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she
tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a
spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

[osreb]

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass

[osreb]

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for
him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds?

P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

P: It made of concrete.

L: I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?

P: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?

P: All my relations still in Poland ...

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?

P: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?
0A

P: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?

P: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?

P: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?

P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf
in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover'

[akz29011]

Hi Folks,

That is my first attempt to upload some pics. I hope it works.

BR from Munich

***** WATERMARKED PICS REMOVED *****

[osreb]

Subject: A Happy Marriage

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25
different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany,
Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly-pop...but at the bar...you know...they
have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out
5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing,
dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f snacks because you are
Married now and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?'

So he stayed home............
........and, they lived happily ever after.

[whatnow3]

Some more