The Great Bride Thread

[simontom]

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/atta...9&d=1249430578

on this thread

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/showthread.php?t=80120

[osreb]

on 8-8

[mcubed]

New Bride

Enjoy.

Also please check out this post and help me find more of the girl there. Thanks.

[osreb]

Little Johnny was playing in his room when his dad walked in and explained that he and his mom were getting a divorce.

"Why Daddy?" asked a confused Little Johnny.
"Well, son" he explained, "Your mother and I are no longer in love."

Now more confused, Little Johnny asked, "What does being in love mean?"

"Let me give you an example, son. Love is when a husband rushes home from a long day at work to embrace and kiss his wife at the door. Your mom and I have lost that love."

"But Daddy, I see Mommy getting excited lots of times right when you come home, so she must still be in love with you."

"I don't understand, son. When has your mother recently been excited when I arrive home from work?"

"Well, sometimes when Mommy is still sleeping in bed with the neighbour, and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at the top of her lungs, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!"

[buffermister]

nice girl

[osreb]

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

************************************************** **********
My wife walked into the den & asked, "What's on the TV?"

I replied, "Dust".

And that's how the fight started...

************************************************** **********

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's how the fight started...

************************************************** **********

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started...

************************************************** **********

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** **********

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do
you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes.."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** **********

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** **********

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** **********

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** ************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed, and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well, I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And that's when the fight started...

************************************************** **********

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said , "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

[Mrs Dalloway]

A Russian bride ... x

[buffermister]

all i can say is WOW!

[buffermister]

a few more of her

[osreb]

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses -- in this case the sense of taste...

The kindergarden children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red.........................Cherry

Yellow..................Lemon

Green..................Lime

Orange...............Orange


Finally, the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'



One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God! They're ass holes!"