[Voyeur] Funny, amazing, bizarre, or ridiculous situations while nude

[lloo]

My wife - then girlfriend in her early thirties - and me had a weird sexy situation a few years ago.

We usually go to clothing optional or nude beaches, and also vacation is the time when I can dare her to do sexy things for me and she will fulfill frivolous tasks that really turn us on a lot. Our „repertoire“ for that has grown over the last 15 years. ;-)
However this time we were in a place where nudity on the beach seemed inappropriate and we had to wear our bikini and trunks. We didn’t enjoy that too much and one day when we were in the water I felt like being cheeky and dared her to strip off her bikini top, then even bottom, and swim naked. She replied only if I took off my trunks she would go all nude. No problem there!

Seconds later she handed me her stuff and I handed her mine and we swam naked and frolicked a little, like touching and kissing and her even arousing my cock in the cold water. Water was splashing around her hard nips and our hands were "everywhere". I was hoping to get a nice hand job and she didn’t seem to mind.

After a few minutes or so - me having a massive hard-on - we suddenly heard someone scream, maybe about 30 metres away, shouting for help. My wife is very sporty and an excellent swimmer, so she didn’t hesitate and tossed my trunks back to me, swam naked to that (British) guy, maybe in his forties, who got stuck in one of those rip currents that drag you away from the beach into the open water. I followed, with our clothing in hands and arrived when she had already talked to him and told him to swim parallel to the shoreline as to get away from the current, then she pulled him towards her and in the end he was able to swim „freely" again. He was exhausted, so we guided him back to the shore and I asked my wife (in German) as to whether she wanted to put on her bikini again. Halfway I managed to get into my trunks. She didn’t bother but stayed close to the chap and only when we were able to stand again and she stood topless and her the water barely covering her lap she said she needed it back.

Only then I noticed that I had lost her thong somewhere on the way, so I could only hand her the bikini top and was kind of puzzled myself where I had left it. The Brit was trembling so when I hesitated she said something like „Oh, nevermind!“ and helped him out of the water in her full glory, with other people staring at us. He had to lie down and she kneeled next to him until other people on the beach joined in and helped him.
It seemed to me that most of the men at the scene were rather watching my wife than the poor guy and she was really bold not to bother at all. When things got straight and we could leave him I explained to her and she only got her top back and put it on and we went back to our place, her being bottomless (what I thought was extremely arousing!). She didn’t believe me that I had really lost it but I really had!
So the only thing she could do was to put on her miniskirt and sit on the towel, and after we had calmed down she even dared to tease me again by opening her legs and showing me her bald pussy and even flash it a little.

Some time later the Brit came to us and said thank you and also added that it was the first time he had to be rescued and also the most wonderful way to be rescued. My wife smiled and said something like „Don’t do it again - we might not be here tomorrow“.

Eventually we went back to the hotel and when I took off my trunks there I noticed that the thong had gotten entangled in its inside - so I had it near my cock all the time!
Needless to say she didn’t believe me that I didn’t know and until today tells me I did it on purpose, and even when we told the story to friends they would rather believe her than me. For me it is still arousing to think about it - she was the only one naked and in the centre of attention for many people... sex that night was tremendous!

A silly fun fact that goes with the story: Every time that I hear „Pure Shores“ from „All Saints“ on the radio I have to think about that day… „Moving, coming, can you hear what I hear? (Take me to the beach) I can hear it calling you, I’m coming not drowning swimming closer to you!“

[explorer98]

Something I remember from 40 years ago but still laugh about today; I was staying with my girlfriend as her parents had gone on holiday. We'd decided that it would be nice for them if we redecorated the living room while they were away but of course being young, energetic and having a house completely to ourselves, this also involved a LOT of sex, any time, any place etc etc.

One afternoon we were on the sofa banging like a gate in a gale when the DJ said "...and whatever you're doing, you're doing it better with Radio 1!" and suddenly, I wasn't!!

I went down faster than the Titanic but we laughed about it and still so if by any chance you're reading this Paul Burnett, thanks a bunch!!

That same week, we also managed to break a bed. These were the old-style, hardwood head and footboard, angle frame with diamond wire etc. Once again, we were going for it big style when one of the foot-end corners let go and dropped to the floor. We paused very briefly then decided "fuck it!" and carried on.Unfortunately the increased load then proceeded to break the other end and we ended up in a cartoon-style heap of woodwork but not before we'd both exploded like a volcano.

We fixed the bed later - much later!

[explorer98]

Another epic 'fail' in the hard-on dept. came from an experience with my one and only virgin. She was a lovely young lady, I was 22 - 23 at the time and I think to an extent, I was a convenient celebration of her 'coming of age'.

We had a thing for a couple of months before she decided it was time to find out what a different cock looked, tasted and felt like but one day she completely stopped my gallop - every bit as quickly as my other story - when she flung the quilt off the bed and onto the floor, spread herself on it starfish-style and completely naked and demanded that I "Do something dominant!"

Now as a considerate guy who has been having sexual relationships for a few years at this point, this is NOT what I expected from a girl her age so as my ship rapidly went down, I gently explained to her that this sort of thing is not a genie you can summon with a snap of your fingers!!

I never did find out where she got the idea at such a tender age (and pre-internet too!) but I hope she found what she was looking for! I saw her a few weeks ago in the town where she originally came from and I have to say the intervening 35 years haven't done any harm - she's every bit as stunning now as she was then - if not more so!

[pjbeachfun]

I go to Gunnison Beach in NJ a few times a summer, and it is always fun.

One of the more entertaining things is to see the first-timers who come, but are not "courageous" enough to remove all or part of their suit at first. Many of them sit on the edge of the beach and try to work up the guts to do so. Others take off their suit in the water at first.

The funniest thing, though, is when one or more women in a group (this is usually younger ones, 20s or so) are there, and not all are nude. They will go in the water, and one or more will start teasing/ prodding another about "getting naked". Sometimes it gets hands-on, and I have seen tops untied by another, and/or bottoms pulled down. I have even seen suits (or parts) taken away by another "friend" as the subject tries to cover herself in vain- while she is laughing. Almost like, I feel naughty being naked, but I don't mind my friend teasing me. A victory like that is always satisfying to watch.

BTW I love seeing tan lines, they are very sexy. And that often occurs in these cases, as many of them have never been nude in public before.

Yesterday, I had two great experiences like that.

One was two women, probably late 40's, who I noticed on the beach and in the water topfree. One was American, the other, probably Spanish. They went back down to the water to go in again, and Spanish Lady starts pulling at the strings on her friend's bikini bottom. I was standing by the water and started laughing. Her friend started screaming in laughter and was trying to run away into the water, all the while, her bottoms slipping and crooked. Spanish Lady whipped her own bottoms off and started waving them in the air, telling her friend to take her own bottoms off. The friend was trying but failing to fix her suit, as the Spanish lady went after her in the water and took the bottoms right off her and ran off with them in the water!
I talked to Spanish Lady and she said it was her friend's second time there, and it was about time that she took her bottoms off...LOL

The second was a personal "victory" in converting someone to a skinny dipper. It was toward the end of the day, and the beach was starting to empty, only a few people in the water, me included. A mid-20s woman (brunette Jersey girl look) wearing a 1-piece tank type suit came into the water near me and I said hi. "I'm glad there are still people in the water because I want to swim" she said. I told her she could swim with me, and she was happy about that as the water was emptying of other swimmers. After a few minutes, I asked her if she had ever been to this beach before. She said it was only her second time. “Did you get the guts to go nude yet?” I asked with a laugh.
“No” she said, “I have never been nude on a beach before.”
“Well, why not? Give it a try?”
She smiled “I’m working up to it.”
“It’s the end of the day and there’s almost no one here. You’re in the water, who will see you?”
She smiled again. “You’re right…she said…I’m getting up the guts!”
We swam for a while longer and between social small talk, I worked encouraging teases into the conversation. She was playing along, which was a good sign.
After a few minutes, I said, “Why should I be the only one naked here? It’s time…”
She looked at me, laughed and said “Ok” as she pushed her straps down and pulled the suit down to waist level.
“That wasn’t hard, was it? Doesn’t it feel better than having a wet suit stuck to you?”
She laughed. “Yeah, it actually does feel good. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Thanks!” as she jokingly rolled her eyes.
We swam for another few minutes and then I teased her “come on, you’re not done yet.” She thought for a minute, then laughed. “What will I do with my suit?”
“Hold it?”
She thought for a minute and smiled “Ok, might as well” as she pulled the whole suit off and held it. We swam for a while, but it started to get dark and cold and we got out.
We hung out on the beach for a while, exchanged numbers/Facebook and decided that we would try and meet up again, maybe next weekend, because she now had, in her words, a “nude beach friend”.
And she now sees the fun and comfort of not wearing a swimsuit.
I wonder how fast she will get naked next time

[MFN]

On Black Sand Beach, near Hana on the eastern end of Maui, my wife and I were soaking up the sun and enjoying the surf. A few other people were on the small beach, mostly couples and some families with teenage or smaller children. About 20 people in all, everyone naked.

The female partner of one of the twenty-something couples came over with her camera and asked if we could do some vacation photos of the two of them. Of course! So we went to the edge of the rocks and took several shots, being careful to not include any of the other beachgoers in the frame. Most of the pictures were full frontal nudes, standing or sitting, with their arms around each other. Like the couple in your story, they explained that they were on their honeymoon. The full nude pictures were for themselves, but they also had us take several that hid their pubic areas and her breasts, by strategic placement of hands, legs, or the branches of the one small tree on the beach. These would be for showing to relatives, or, someday, to eventual children. My wife and I took turns with their camera, and after reviewing the dozen or so shots, they were satisfied, thanked us, and went back to lie on their own towels.

Toward the end of the day, people started leaving. Once there were no children left, the same couple came to us again and asked if we would take a few more photos, only these would be more "interesting". Sure; why not! These poses were explicit: the tip of his dick just inside the lips of her pussy, as viewed both doggy style and cowgirl position, forward and reverse. Not fucking, but just barely penetrating and with both of them smiling at the camera. Then a few with it all the way in, each one of these followed by one taken just at the moment his dick pulled away, to show her pussy still open, and the wetness of both of them. We did many retakes of this particular pose, until we snapped the shutter just in time to show a strand of fluid stretching from his dick to her pussy. In that photo, you see them smiling (as in all the photos), but the shiny string of cum connecting them really made this one the “money shot”.

They were very pleased with their pictures. But before they left, my wife and I handed them our camera so we could have our own vacation photos!

[piecenick]

I was in charge of a salvage operation for a sunken boat near Bay St Louis, it was early January but a cold front had pushed through, so it was pretty chilly to me. Every thing I did had to be overseen by a USCG officer for approval, that officer I had that day was a young lady, 99% of the operation was per forma, so there wasn't a lot for her to do but rubberstamp and keep logs.

The CG had assigned her a small launch to get us back and forth from the salvage operation to the landing, it was a lot faster than riding tugs. I got a call that a storm was going to shut us down for 12 hours, we got it buttoned down, sent the crews in, then the lady and I got in the launch and headed in. We waited too long to leave, we weren't likely to sink, but we were wet and freezing fighting the wind all the way to the landing. We ran to my truck, jumped in an I cranked up the heater, but we were soaked.

She was the one to say, we have to get out of these clothes or we'll get hypothermia. It is difficult to take off wet gear in the cab of a pickup truck, but it was done, in a few minutes we were naked, or almost, huddled over the heat vents. I dropped her off at another landing where her truck was, so she had a change of clothes in there. I had to drive to my hotel and put wet clothes back on.

I hope I haven't posted this too many times.

[MFN]

I'm curious to know: Once she was out of uniform, did she drop the 'yes ma'am, no ma'am' formalities?

[piecenick]

Originally Posted by MFN

I'm curious to know: Once she was out of uniform, did she drop the 'yes ma'am, no ma'am' formalities?

No, but at least a part of me did not shrink from it's duties and provided a proper salute.

[shower1000]

I related this story on another site but thought that it deserved a fresh re-tell here.

About eight years ago our friend John decided that he would give his wife Mary a surprise party for her 50th birthday. They were somewhat new to social nudism and had met up with our group a few times at the DeAnza resort over the previous summer. Although they had been casual home nudists for some time, this would be their first time hosting a social nudist get together at their home. Counting John & Mary there would be a total of 5 couples in attendance.

Mary usually got home from work at about 5:30 so the plan was to meet there before 5:00 and help John setup. We picked up some rolled tacos from our favorite taco shop, my sister made a melon bowl, and the other 2 couples brought cheese, crackers, wine and champagne. We all arrived on time, stashed our clothes in the guest room, and set out the munchies and adult beverages. We finished a little early so we had time to blow up a few balloons and hang some crepe streamers.

She was running a little late. So we sat around and had a little wine and gabbed while we waited for our guest of honor to arrive. Sue commented on John's new shaved look. It was a birthday surprise for Mary, who had secretly told John that she liked the look. Just then we heard the garage door start to open. She had arrived and was going to enter directly into the den. We quickly went to our appointed spots near the door and waited.

Then the big surprise was on us. The door opened and an elderly couple walked in, followed by Mary. It was her mom & dad. They had just flown in from Salt Lake City and she had picked them from the airport. My sister Sue, Lori and their husbands were standing there in full view, nude, wine in hand ready to yell “surprise”. Julie and I were by the patio door slider while John, Amy and her husband were by the kitchen counter.

Mary’s mom silently covered her eyes while her dad just stared mouth open in disbelief. The look on their faces was priceless. Mary went from surprised to panic then annoyed in 2 seconds. John quickly grabbed a kitchen towel to cover up and tried to explain the situation. And 4 naked couples simultaneously raced down the hall to grab their clothes. After a quick discussion in the guest room we all sneaked out the front door without saying a word.

The following weekend we all met up again at my sister's house, including John & Mary, both sporting their new clean shaven style. They brought the champagne we had left behind and we had a “belated” birthday toast. They said they had to do a lot of fast talking to calm her parents. They are old school Mormons and could not imagine their daughter participating in “drinking and doing something like that”. But in the end, and after a late evening of explaining, they calmed her parents and felt that all was well again.

It did give us another great nude memory that we still joke about.

[itit49]

For some years my wife has been taking aquagym classes in a pool near her office. The pool is frequented by many of my wife's colleagues due to the proximity to the office and the discounts applied.
First comment I would be very excited to see my female colleagues in swimsuits and I think my wife is "interesting" for many of her colleagues. Moreover now with the smartphones, I would not exclude the existence of photos and videos of my wife in swimsuit shared by her coleagues.
But this is only the beginning there are also a few embarrassing sexy accidents.
The first one after one year in the pool my wife shows me the swimsuit, it was damaged by the chlorine and it was transparent especially on tits and ass. I have no photos of my wife but the photo of this swimmer perfectly clarifies how my wife has been swimming in the pool for weeks especially when her swimsuit was wet and in the presence of many of her colleagues.
The second episode was even more traumatic. After the accident with the first swimsuit, my wife bought a new "chlorine-resistant" swimsuit and she began to check see-through effects. After one year the second swimsuit was not transparent but it had a structural failure. Here are my wife's words.
“What a shame I wanted to die in the pool today. We are doing an exercise in the water jumping and raising our arms when the elastic of the neckline breaks and my breasts pop out. I don't understand what is happening and I keep on jumping with my bouncing boobs. Only after a few seconds I realise that my boobs are exposed, I rearrange the swimsuit and I get out of the pool but climbing the ladder my boobs pop out again. The pool was crowded and there were also many colleagues ".
The photo below tries to reproduce the situation and even the breasts are the same size, a few coleagues may have seen her boobs and I do not exclude the existence of photos or videos of my wife's accident.