I love you, funny face!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Women. Even when they're property labled we guys are willing to risk it...
2. ...that's because sometimes the labels are very enticing.
3. Jesus! She's attractive!
4. "Honey, would you take a look at my Volvo? I keep hearing a jingly sound when I'm driven, and my exhaust system seems plugged..."
( Liz loved playing erotic games with her mechanic boyfriend. )
5. Some women need more incentive to blow you than others...
6. "So Sally...you said we were going to do some 'muff diving.' I hope this is proper attire."
7. "Well Son, I gave her away at the ceremony and so I feel compelled to give her away on the honeymoon."
8. Becky loves to watch "50 Shades of Gray" from her favorite chair.
9. "Smelly caaat...smelly cat. Whaat are they feeding you? Smelly cat. Smelly cat. It's not your faaault."
10. "NO! I don't want to be in this stupid thread! I said NO, DAMMIT!"

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. According to The Men In Black: despite their horrible faces, Earth women still love to screw Martian men. Looks just aren't as important to women. Also, an eight inch tongue and a retractible phallic nose makes Martian men interesting...and lots of fun.
2. Martha doesn't mind that her husband keeps her on a short leash. She just hates having to beg at the dinner table.
3. "Americans! Be careful because the floors are wet...and so are we."
4. Librarians don't insist that you only speak in whispers in a library anymore...but the penalties for overdue books are harsher.
5. " If I had a haaammer...I'd hammer in the mor-or-ning... I'd hammer in the eeevening...all over this a- land!"
6. "I say, old chap...have you seen my monocle?"
7. "HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!"
8. Jenny's pedacure, massage and cunnilingus door to door business was very popular.
9. Wow...She's showing you her pussy and some of you are still staring at her rack!
10. Liberals with their loose morals have always angered conservative Republicans.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "Oh shit...I forgot to buy toilet paper!"
2. "Oh fuck...I forgot to take my birth control pill!"
3. "Oh frack...I forgot to record Battlestar Galactica!"
4."You know Gillian, I hope forgetting to put gas in your car again on ' Topless Beach Swim Night' has finaly taught you a lesson."
5. Looks like someone got drunk and forgot that it's not a nude beach, that it's uncool to masturbate in public and this isn't Mexico.
6. Forget thinking globally and acting locally. Get naked and have a ball.
7. Erin forgot it's nearly impossible to get a good night's sleep in a sorority house.
8. Somewhere in Russia... "Boris, thanks to my new plastic American friend I am forgetting YOU."
9. "Forget about going out for dessert. Close your eyes and open your mouth. I have a nice treat for you right here..." ( She was expecting chocolate)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "Madge...are you writing this down? OK... In the year 2015 men are going to be playing with their....Uh...things while looking at pictures of this very phone conversation via something called 'cyberspace.' I know it sounds crazy, but my gypsy fortune teller swears it's true!"
2. "Does anyone else think it's kinda sad that Dorothy just keeps playing Twister all by herself?"
3. Here's a little known fact about biker dudes in the 70s...Their women loved wine, but they preferred milk.
4. "Come on honey, you know what the doctor said...swallow...it will make you feel a LOT better. (The "doctor" was really his friend, Mike)
5. Before men could ascend the heights of Mt. Everest they first had to conquer the Bodacious Tatas of Northern New Hampshire.
6. The American health care system was much more patient friendly in the 60s.
7. "First things first, Joan...we wash his blood off our hands, THEN we take your husband's Jaguar back to the Malibu bungalo and get his cash. " (It was Joan's first romantic robbery/ homicide)
8. Another little known fact is that Hope Solo's grandmother was also a pretty fair goalie in HER day.
9. Oh no...he's smiling...he thinks I'm staring at his meat."
10. "Oh look at this one! It's a band out of Liverpool...four guys with funny hair who apparently can't spell the word 'beetle.' My sister has the WORST musical taste! Let's just fuck without music tonight."

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. When it's your first time with your new hot lesbian friend, the last thing you expect is to get your hand stuck...poor Doris!
2." So if I stay on the track team and run all summer I'll have an ass like that? I'm all in!"
3. As a psychotherapist Mandy had excellent results treating patient's with a fear of clowns.
4. I've seen these before but never got a chance to hold one in my hand...very interesting. However, I'd rather just enjoy a nice pussy."
5. Nikki was the best golf instructor at Bushwood Country club. She never failed to get golfers to improve their game.
6. "Gosh Mrs. Nelson...that's awfully nice of you to say...do you REALLY think I have a nice pole?" (Clueless pool boy)
7. When Jane walks through that door her life will change forever...so will the lives of the men inside.
8. So THIS is why they invented underwater cameras!
9. "Vell dahlink...you haf alvays been obsessed mit ze head...alvays demanding ze head...und now I GET ze head!" (It never ends well when you date a resentful, sociopathic, murderous woman with a fake German accent...who hates giving blowjobs.)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1.Yeah...look at that smile...I get the feeling she's done this sort of thing before. (Will this be deleted as a water sports pic?)
2. The ultimate inadequacy nightmare comes to life...poor bastard!
3. Billy Bob is more than willing to give as many of these rides down the slide as the ladies want. Good ol' Billy Bob!
4. They say dogs only see in black and white.
5. Ya gotta love a woman with a sense of humor.
6. New England women tried to make the best of last winter's record snowfalls.
7. Apparently the New England men were too occupied with the Patriot's fortunes. Lucky for Frosty.
8. "Her name is Sandy!"
9. "You can run but you can't hide! Sooner or later the pussy posse will get you!"
10. I hope you are! (Laughing out loud...not an asshole)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Raised by wolves, panting is just how this Milf deals with the heat...and her nose isn't the only thing that gets wet.
2. You automatic transmission drivers are really missing something if you never learn to use a dickshift.
3. She's wasting away again...look at her hat.
4. "Keri, I'm so sorry he left you for that other girl. However, if you just lie back on this towel, I can make you feel a lot better..."
5. "Oh my god...that's the statue of liberty! Those damned dirty apes! God damn them to hell!" (In honor of Mr. Heston)
6. "Aw, dude! " (Surfer Joe gets caught with his wetsuit down)
7. Yeah, it's funny until you try to deep throat that sucker, choke and need CPR...
8. It looks like the same bully that kicked sand in Nathan's face on the beach has just stolen his girlfriend. Time to get Charles Atlas' address off the matchbook cover. (Will you younger people even get that?)
9. Cindy has a message for haters. I concur.
10. If your girlfriend has a breakdown and you intend to fix her yourself, be sure to use the proper tools.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Debbie carefully hung up her little barricade to guard her privacy against the neighbors...but she didn't count on Sneaky Seymour with his expensive telephoto camera lens in the high rise apartment on the next block.
2. Ladies, it's either the cheapest hand lotion you'll ever have...or the most expensive...depending on your point of view.
3. It looks like someone is enjoying a little visit to "One Click Dicks."
4. The Matthews sisters almost always do what they're told.
5. It looks like whatever she's doing, she's doing it well.
6. These could be Maggie's salad days.
7. My humor is dry, so sometimes my jokes take a while to get. Sometimes people finally get them...at the strangest times.
8. You gotta love a woman with the sense of humor to pose for something like this!
9. "Are these too girly looking to go with black toenail polish?" ( In such delicate cases I advise wearing nothing at all)
10. She hasn't got a prayer.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1.What? You've never seen a pole-ish girl before?
2. There are ass men and there ASS men. Or..., as they sang in South Pacific: "Once you have found her...never let her go."
3.So much to sniff...so little time.
4. Once you"ve had zombie, you'll never go back.
5. "Jeff...I TOLD YOU to quit smoking!"
6. For some reason I'm reminded of Scotty's "Jeffries Tube" in the original Star Trek series...Thankfully, this isn't Scotty.
7. Heavily tattooed and pierced pot smoking cougars need good lovin' too...
8. "Bathe like an E-gypt-shun!" (The Bangles strike again)
9. Don't it always seem to go... that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?
10. Paola stole those shades from Elton John.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. The way women look when they sit down to enjoy this thread...
2. The way women look right around joke number ten. (Goodnight, sweethearts. Mind if I finish your popcorn?)
3. You know what sucks? Buying a cabin in the middle of the woods to enjoy with your new girlfriend, only to find out she's Lizzie Borden's crazy granddaughter.
4. Don't expect a long term relationship with these two...they're cheetahs.
5. Amanda knows how to get a salesman's attention when she needs service.
6. After three days in the desert sun, Julie finally surrendered to the heat.
7. "I'm about to appear in 'I Love You, Funny Face ' and I haven't got a thing to wear!"
8. Swingers in the 50s.
9.As David Gates once sang..."Maybe I'm beat, but oh what a sweet surrender!" ( I wonder if she's taking any more prisoners tonight?)
10. "Hi, I'm Dave...pleasure to meet you. Is this your first time in this thread? "